I think I may need another exam. I know I didn’t get my fair share of baby oil last time and I’ve always wanted to try a mechanical bull.
Since BratMan appears to be busy, how about one of the assistants? Mully? dook?
Chrisbar
CrankyAsAnOldMan - living up to your name, I see. I said you passed your exam about 35 posts ago.
Or do you want another one? 
Well that ain’t exactly the kind of shit you just carry around in the back of your truck, unlike my mechanical bull. 
Allrighty. We’re going to oil up the bull a bit and oil up the mat around it. You see how long you can hold on. If you fall off, I’m going to tie you down to the machine
<-pretends to be a mechanical bull.
Ok, now get on…
CHRISBAR
My new favorite poster, using something I said for her sig line. (Of course that little smart ass comment at the end kinda hurts my feelings; I’m very sensitive. :: sniffle :: )
I’m taking bets on how long chrisbar can hold on. I say 12 seconds max.
Don’t disappoint me chrisbar!!
Oh…okay, now I get it. YOU’RE the bull. Yes, that does sound like the Midwest after all. I hope I’m not getting too personal here when I say you look really hot with those sturrups on.
And I mean that. Not everybody can pull that look off.
Now all we need is some chocolate syrup…
Thanks man, but all I wanna know is what happened to the DAMNED JUMPER CABLES? looks down oh wait. Nevermind. Ok, now who wants their nipples peirced?
If the "bull’ is oiled & we’re oiled, what are we supposed to hang on to? (please feel free to submit any & all suggestions)
That’s it. All female newbies who want a slightly more tender hand line up over in my part of the room. I’ll bring the sheepskin nighties, 350 gallons of partially set Jello, a disco ball, Frank Sinatra’s greatest hits CD, and a package of kazoos.
Trust me, Buckminster Fuller did something like this years ago. It advanced string theory greatly.
That’s what the jumper cables are here for. sheesh, don’t you women ever listen?
Um, ok, but what do I hold on to? The only handle I see is this… Whoops!! Way too much baby oil. I can’t get a grip on anything. Guess I’ll have to pass on the bull ride and get back in line for my exam instead.
BratMan: sorry if I hurt your feelings 
How about we turn off the cameras, shoo out the assistants and I’ll show you a trick, hmm?
Chrisbar
I suggest 2 of you ride at the same time and hold onto each other.
Dignity comes to mind.
Don’t you think it’s a little late for that?
Yeah I have that problem too. Your hands are kind of small, try using both hands.
Yeah… yeah, that’s the ticket.
Who said you can’t be naked and dignified?
You are a saucy little flirt.
Don’t I know it.
Good thing my SO doesn’t lurk here. :o
Chrisbar
Good thing it’s carpeted in here or we’d all be writhing around on the floor due to the baby oil…<looks around casually> Anybody know if we can roll up this carpet?
dook, I just gotta say that that is the biggest saddle horn I’ve ever seen. But isn’t it supposed to be on top?
Brat-So which one do you like best? The African or the European? I think the African is a little bigger than the European.