Check out my new Autopost-a-Matic!

Currently I am using an invention I made myself. [sup]That’s right I’m the man[/sup] It’s a small computer implanted in your brain Hey check out the ass on her! that will post to the Straight Dope by merely thinking about it. [sup]You know what sounds good? A cheeseburger…[/sup] I’m going to call it the Autopost-a-Matic. Jesus, why are they itching so badly lately? I’m still working out the bugs, though, [sub] ooh- that reminds me, I need to find something to kill that nest under the sink[/sub] as it seems to also post whatever other random thoughts go through one’s mind.

If you’d like to order yours today, email me, Crunchy Frog [sup]damn I love the sound of my own name[/sup] at

One more time, [sub]because I think you’re all a bunch of idiots that I can fleece at my leisure and I hold you all in great contempt[/sub] that email is!
Oh, hell I hope that thought about fleecing them didn’t get posted!

Please don’t let handy get his, ummm, hands, on this.


That’s right. Laugh will they? One day I will let loose my robot horde and take over this pitiful world. All will cower at my power!
[sub]Oh hell, did I forget to turn off the Autopost-a-Matic just now?[/sub]

Sorry everyone, disreagrd that last post. Just a joke. Ha ha ha and all that.

So, Montfort, can I sign you up for one? Maybe two - one for you and one for the lovely Anniz?

*I need to make a note to turn this off next time I’m watching porn…

Dammit! Did that just post?*

Nah, no thanks. I don’t need one, I have a LiveJournal. Anniz, though… hmmm… I think it’d be cute to see what she’s thinking all the time.

Except, it’d be in Swedish. Do you have a translator add-on kit?

The translator is no problem. [sup]If this takes off I should have enough money to fund the building of more robots for my horde[/sup] Simply program the Autopost-a-Matic [sub]what the hell is that in my navel?[/sub] by following the simple instruction booklet to go through an online translator before the post is routed to the Straight Dope!

Wow, that’s not getting any better… I’ll need to see a doctor about that rash down there…

I do not think any of you want to know what I’m thinking. Really, Really and truly.

Especially, CF, because some of the thoughts revolve around your picture on the SDPP;)

Don’t worry about that. The Autopost-a-Matic is not a mind reading machine. Small lie, but I think I can get away with it It’s main function is to post to the SDMB without all that strenuous typing. The quirky habit it has of picking up random thoughts [sup]quirky habit? More like extreme SNAFU[/sup] is simply a bug I’m currently working on fixing. [sub]And the patch will only cost another $50[/sub]


I thought my pic was one that disappeared. I haven’t been there in a while to check.
I think I can get away with that lie too, although it’s no secret how in love with myself I am

I will surely take one. I have enought trouble keeping track of my own thoughts as it is. [sub]god I’m horny[/sub]I’d like some method of recording and compiling…[sub]I am really really horny…[/sub]my thoughts. [sub]horny horny horny, need to get laid.[/sub]Okay so my thoughts mainly revolve around sex, but oh well. :smiley:

Hey my first customer! Sucker I’m so happy to see you here, ladyfoxfire [sub]If you want to see how happy, just check my pants[/sub] I accept all froms of payment and be sure to tell everyone [sub]how great I am in bed[/sub] how much you enjoy the Autopost-a-Matic!

Ya know Crunchy, you may be coming close to a patent infringement; see ThinkPlate. Granted, that was for producing printing plates directly from neural impulses, but the notion is much the same.

While you’re there, don’t forget to check the other Dimbulb, Inc. companies and products. It helps to be familiar with the graphic arts, but it’s not essential.

Where is ChiefScott when you need him?

What I’m curious about is whether your Autopost-a-Matic is sophisticated enough to type in vB code before launching into your subliminal thoughts or whether you have to think “left bracket s-u-b right bracket” before going off on a tangent.

Hey, it’s bad enough having someone like Crunchy Frog hooked up to one o’ these things. If you tried it with Chief, it’d blow out the whole eastern seaboard!

Crunchy, I can’t believe you’re doing this. [sub]Take me, Frog Boy and take me hard[/sub] Trying to scam Dopers out of their hard earned money? [sub]Wish I had thought of it first[/sub]
You should be ashamed of yourself.[sub]I want in[/sub]

Naah . . . ChiefScott’s not into guys[sub]Damn, cuz he’s hot . . . [/sub].

It’d lick the chrome off a trailer, though:D[sub]I need a cold shower[/sub]

*Oh, Hardygrrl . . . *

Are you taking on partners or investors? [sub]I’m gonna buy me about a million puts after the IPO on this baby[/sub] Sounds like an interesting idea [sub]that will be racking up the lawsuits.[/sub]

Yeah, this [sub]boobs[/sub] pretty much sums [sub]breasts![/sub] up how I feel about [sub]NNNNNNAKED!#[/sub] the invention too. Could get [sub]bikinis! boobs![/sub] embarrasing…

Hey just thought I’d pop in for no apparent reason, seeing as I have nothing interesting to add everybody! [sup][sub]Oh no, that sounded like Dr. Nick from “The Simpsons!”[/sub][/sup] I am interested in the Autopost-a-Matic [sup]no I’m not[/sup]. Will the small computer you implant in my brain conflict with the ID tag the aliens implanted in the base of my neck oh-so-many years ago when I got abducted mmm, anal probing…? Also, will I get e-mail notification when people have replied to my thought-posts [sup][sub]more like thoughtless[/sub][/sup]?

Methinks Crunchy Frog needs to stop watching Mr. Subliminal on “SNL”.

Back again. [sub]Jesus…Crunchy…ChiefScott…Mnementh…got some good names there…[/sub]Now, how am I supposed to pay for[sub]Mnementh…mmmm…[/sub] this thing? [sub]I can think of a way…heh…[/sub] Crunchy, I’ll be sure to tell everyone [sub]how great you are in bed[/sub] how great the Autopost-a-Matic is just as soon as I [sub]get you into bed…[/sub]run through it to make sure it hasn’t got any bugs. :smiley: