Currently I am using an invention I made myself. [sup]That’s right I’m the man[/sup] It’s a small computer implanted in your brain Hey check out the ass on her! that will post to the Straight Dope by merely thinking about it. [sup]You know what sounds good? A cheeseburger…[/sup] I’m going to call it the Autopost-a-Matic. Jesus, why are they itching so badly lately? I’m still working out the bugs, though, [sub] ooh- that reminds me, I need to find something to kill that nest under the sink[/sub] as it seems to also post whatever other random thoughts go through one’s mind.
If you’d like to order yours today, email me, Crunchy Frog [sup]damn I love the sound of my own name[/sup] at firstname.lastname@example.org.
One more time, [sub]because I think you’re all a bunch of idiots that I can fleece at my leisure and I hold you all in great contempt[/sub] that email is email@example.com! Oh, hell I hope that thought about fleecing them didn’t get posted!
That’s right. Laugh will they? One day I will let loose my robot horde and take over this pitiful world. All will cower at my power!
[sub]Oh hell, did I forget to turn off the Autopost-a-Matic just now?[/sub]
The translator is no problem. [sup]If this takes off I should have enough money to fund the building of more robots for my horde[/sup] Simply program the Autopost-a-Matic [sub]what the hell is that in my navel?[/sub] by following the simple instruction booklet to go through an online translator before the post is routed to the Straight Dope!
Wow, that’s not getting any better… I’ll need to see a doctor about that rash down there…
Don’t worry about that. The Autopost-a-Matic is not a mind reading machine. Small lie, but I think I can get away with it It’s main function is to post to the SDMB without all that strenuous typing. The quirky habit it has of picking up random thoughts [sup]quirky habit? More like extreme SNAFU[/sup] is simply a bug I’m currently working on fixing. [sub]And the patch will only cost another $50[/sub]
I thought my pic was one that disappeared. I haven’t been there in a while to check. I think I can get away with that lie too, although it’s no secret how in love with myself I am
I will surely take one. I have enought trouble keeping track of my own thoughts as it is. [sub]god I’m horny[/sub]I’d like some method of recording and compiling…[sub]I am really really horny…[/sub]my thoughts. [sub]horny horny horny, need to get laid.[/sub]Okay so my thoughts mainly revolve around sex, but oh well.
Hey my first customer! Sucker I’m so happy to see you here, ladyfoxfire [sub]If you want to see how happy, just check my pants[/sub] I accept all froms of payment and be sure to tell everyone [sub]how great I am in bed[/sub] how much you enjoy the Autopost-a-Matic!
What I’m curious about is whether your Autopost-a-Matic is sophisticated enough to type in vB code before launching into your subliminal thoughts or whether you have to think “left bracket s-u-b right bracket” before going off on a tangent.
Crunchy, I can’t believe you’re doing this. [sub]Take me, Frog Boy and take me hard[/sub] Trying to scam Dopers out of their hard earned money? [sub]Wish I had thought of it first[/sub]
You should be ashamed of yourself.[sub]I want in[/sub]
Hey just thought I’d pop in for no apparent reason, seeing as I have nothing interesting to add everybody! [sup][sub]Oh no, that sounded like Dr. Nick from “The Simpsons!”[/sub][/sup] I am interested in the Autopost-a-Matic [sup]no I’m not[/sup]. Will the small computer you implant in my brain conflict with the ID tag the aliens implanted in the base of my neck oh-so-many years ago when I got abducted mmm, anal probing…? Also, will I get e-mail notification when people have replied to my thought-posts [sup][sub]more like thoughtless[/sub][/sup]?
Methinks Crunchy Frog needs to stop watching Mr. Subliminal on “SNL”.
Back again. [sub]Jesus…Crunchy…ChiefScott…Mnementh…got some good names there…[/sub]Now, how am I supposed to pay for[sub]Mnementh…mmmm…[/sub] this thing? [sub]I can think of a way…heh…[/sub] Crunchy, I’ll be sure to tell everyone [sub]how great you are in bed[/sub] how great the Autopost-a-Matic is just as soon as I [sub]get you into bed…[/sub]run through it to make sure it hasn’t got any bugs.