The almost very nearly somewhat triumphant return of Crunchy Frog

Well, sort of the almost very nearly somewhat triumphant return.

I’ve been away for quite some time and decided I needed to re-establish my baord presence. The problem was how to do it? My first idea was the old stand-by of my oft-linked to (by me at least) Welcome Wagon threads. However, as much fun as the Welcome Wagons were (for me at least), I don’t know if I’ll be about regularly enough to keep one going like before.

So I started thinking what I could write about, which started a long argument with myself:

The insecure part of my brain couldn’t stop wondering what if the post sucked and couldn’t offer anything helpful.

The paranoid part of my brain blamed the lack of good ideas on the mods and admins and wanted to get away from the PC, because they were obviously sending harmful creative thought-blocking rays through my monitor and if I insisted on staying this close to the computer, then the least I could do was make a tinfoil hat to protect the parts of my brain that knew the truth about those people.

The critical part of my brain just shot down all the other ideas that were being brought up without being constructive in the least, so that part was eventually tied up and hidden in the dark cobwebby recesses of my mind where I keep the lessons I’m supposed to learn from mistakes, a few select childhood memories, and my desire to wear women’s underclothes on my head.

The smart-ass side of my brain was no help either, as all it did was make offhand sarcastic comments about the other suggestions such as, “You think that crap is a good idea? Don’t be dim. Thinking that is a good idea is like thinking our penis is an adequate size!”

The rude part of my brain wanted to scratch itself and told the rest of the brain it looked fat.

The supportive part of my brain was too busy telling all the other parts how good their ideas were to come up with any of its own.

My ego wanted to write about me, but that’s all it’s ever interested in, so the rest of my brain dismissed the thought.

The id suddenly realized I was on the internet and wanted to look up porn and masturbate. But that’s all the id ever wants to do, so again the rest of my brain dismissed… well okay, after that idea was brought up, the mind was in total agreement for about 15 minutes and then got back to arguing about what to post.

So now that I’ve closed the other browser windows, I find I’m still sitting here at the “Post New Thread” page with nothing to write. And I better come up with something fast, cuz in about 45 minutes or so, the id is gonna realize I’m still on the internet and want to go surfing again.

So aside from re-hashing the Welcome Wagons, would anyone believe a story about a two-legged cat? :wink:

Visual aids might help in this case.

Uh, okay.

Now that you’re back, do you think you could start up the “Welcome Wagon” thing again?

I’m getting tired.

Welcome back, Crunchy Frog. Did you bring snacks?

You saw what he was doing pre-post. I’d reccommend he washes those hands before serving food. :smiley:

Welcome back Crunchy.

I’ve got a spare tinfoil hat lying about. Would you like it? It doesn’t help me – the thought-blocking rays still get to my brain. It might work for you though, although it doesn’t look like you need it.

Sorry, the thought-blocking rays got to me for a moment. What I really meant to say is welcome back, Crunchy.

Crunchers! Welcome back. :slight_smile:


You were gone?


Welcome back, Crunchy! :wink:

Ooooh… be careful asking for that, Guinny, cuz I’ve had a crush on you since, well, since that one thread where you hinted that you may want a nekkid pic. :wink:

I dunno. That’s pretty draining from the welcomer’s side, gotta try to think of something different for each person and when it gets into the 100s you start running out of material. Plus it was hard enough to keep up with when I just posted all dat from work, and now that I can’t do that anymore I won’t be around to keep up with all the newbies.

It was fun though, and if I could get a few dedicated helpers I might start it up again.

And hey, LifeOnWry - I brought pie.

Now about that two-legged cat thread… I’m thinking of naming it Halfster or something.

Hell, she may have only hinted there, Froggie … but she wants to see your Frogson! She said so herself!

All those parts of the brain and that’s what you came up with?!


Welcome back, and nice to meet ya.

When I read this post, the analytical part of my brain picked apart the real reasons he had written it. The critical part of my brain looked for grammar and spelling errors. The hypocritical part of my brain scorned his perusal of internet porn while one of my open windows displayed The emotional part of my brain was happy he was posting again. The paranoid part of my brain wondered if this whole message board was an elaborate exercise in mocking my existence. My ego was checking out my reflection in the monitor and though my hair looked pretty.

My stomach wondered if there were any oreos left. My lungs politely asked for more oxygen, and my diaphragm obliged, contracting and pulling in more air. My kidneys were only concerned with straining toxins and bacteria from my body, the selfish bastards.

Anyway, glad to see you back, CrunchyFrog!

Sorry, Crunchy Frog. Much as I appreciate the gesture, we obviously have different definitions of “snacks.”

Pie is not snacks.
Pie is dessert.
Snacks is chips & dip, pretzels & Nutella, grapes & cheese, and so on and so forth.

Please return to the place from whence you came and re-enter, this time bringing SNACKS.

I promise I’ll be just as welcoming as you could hope for.

C’mon, LifeOnWry. You’ve got kids. Pie isn’t snacks, or dessert. It’s *dinner. *


Sad, isn’t it?

Sorry, I thought you were going towards that old “When come back, bring pie” bit.

And WTF is Nutella? Reminds me of a box of chocolates I had once and one of the flavors was labeled “Nut Cream” (no kidding).
I couldn’t get that phrase out of my head, “Hey anyone care for some more Nut Cream?” or “Mmmm, that’s good Nut Cream!”

And KCSuze, when you’re all done of that naked pic of me, forward it on to *Guinny, would ya? Thanks.

Hmmm…I’ll make a copy of it, but I’m keeping one for myself. In fact, I’m thinking of making it my computer’s wallpaper. I did notice you not posting to the “tiny penis” thread, by the way. :wink:

Nutella hazelnut spread. The epitome of all sugary, sticky good stuff in a jar. I think it tastes rather like chocolate myself.

Well, you’re off to a frying start!

Welcome back Crunchy.

What about beef pie?

[sub](I am so worried about the phrasing of that question in a Crunchy thread actually…)[/sub]
Hey Sweetie!

hugs Crunchy and runs away to hide

70’s TV said it best:

"Welcome back,
Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back,
To that same old place that you laughed about.

Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they’re turned around.

Who’d have thought they’d lead ya (Who’d have thought they’d lead ya)
Here where we need ya (Here where we need ya)

Yeah we tease him a lot cause we’ve hot him on the spot, welcome back,
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back."