Well, sort of the almost very nearly somewhat triumphant return.
I’ve been away for quite some time and decided I needed to re-establish my baord presence. The problem was how to do it? My first idea was the old stand-by of my oft-linked to (by me at least) Welcome Wagon threads. However, as much fun as the Welcome Wagons were (for me at least), I don’t know if I’ll be about regularly enough to keep one going like before.
So I started thinking what I could write about, which started a long argument with myself:
The insecure part of my brain couldn’t stop wondering what if the post sucked and couldn’t offer anything helpful.
The paranoid part of my brain blamed the lack of good ideas on the mods and admins and wanted to get away from the PC, because they were obviously sending harmful creative thought-blocking rays through my monitor and if I insisted on staying this close to the computer, then the least I could do was make a tinfoil hat to protect the parts of my brain that knew the truth about those people.
The critical part of my brain just shot down all the other ideas that were being brought up without being constructive in the least, so that part was eventually tied up and hidden in the dark cobwebby recesses of my mind where I keep the lessons I’m supposed to learn from mistakes, a few select childhood memories, and my desire to wear women’s underclothes on my head.
The smart-ass side of my brain was no help either, as all it did was make offhand sarcastic comments about the other suggestions such as, “You think that crap is a good idea? Don’t be dim. Thinking that is a good idea is like thinking our penis is an adequate size!”
The rude part of my brain wanted to scratch itself and told the rest of the brain it looked fat.
The supportive part of my brain was too busy telling all the other parts how good their ideas were to come up with any of its own.
My ego wanted to write about me, but that’s all it’s ever interested in, so the rest of my brain dismissed the thought.
The id suddenly realized I was on the internet and wanted to look up porn and masturbate. But that’s all the id ever wants to do, so again the rest of my brain dismissed… well okay, after that idea was brought up, the mind was in total agreement for about 15 minutes and then got back to arguing about what to post.
So now that I’ve closed the other browser windows, I find I’m still sitting here at the “Post New Thread” page with nothing to write. And I better come up with something fast, cuz in about 45 minutes or so, the id is gonna realize I’m still on the internet and want to go surfing again.
So aside from re-hashing the Welcome Wagons, would anyone believe a story about a two-legged cat? 
