This is my first post as a new member and I was hoping to make a light hearted reply to some other thread, but something happened yesterday that changed my life.
I found out yesterday that my 5 year old daughter had been touched by our neighbor’s 14 year old son. My wife was getting her ready for bed and asked her to get a new pair of underwear out of the drawer. My daughter started ripping through the drawer and was becoming very upset. My wife asked her what was wrong and my daughter said that she didn’t like her underwear because “Tommy” (not his name) always knew what color she wore.
Through some gentle questioning, my wife found out that while my daughter was at our neighbors house that “Tommy” had tricked her on previous occasions to show him her underwear and yesterday had gotten her to pull down her underwear and he touched her between her legs. There was no digital penetration, just a touch to the outer folds. My daughter said that it made her feel sad and she started to cry.
We stayed calm and reassuring so she would not see how upset we were. We kept telling her that it was not her fault, that she did nothing wrong, that she was not bad. We told her that the only people who should look at her parts are me, my wife and a doctor when she gets an examination. We told her that that is why they are called “private parts”; you keep them private. She was upset and kept saying she didn’t want to talk about it anymore so we let it drop for the night with a last reassurance of how much we loved her and that she did nothing wrong and how proud of her we were that she told us.
My wife went to our neighbor’s house and told our friend what had happened. They confronted “Tommy” and he admitted to everything. Of course he had no explanation as to why he did it. We (including his mother) told him he is no longer allowed into our house and our daughter can not come into their house.
I’m a wreck. While we’re horrified and sickened that this happened to our precious little girl, we’re relieved that it was not as bad as it could have been and that it was discovered early. We’ve made an appointment with a child psychiatrist we know to help her. The psychiatrist has suggested we contact DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) to anonymously report this. Our neighbors were good friends but this is going to destroy it. The son was my son’s best friend. When our son comes back from camp and finds out, he’s going to want to kill the kid. (I don’t blame him. If the kid was 18, I’d go after him).
I’m looking for help on what to do next. I could legitimately call DCFS to report this which could result in him being taken away. We could call the cops and press charges. If he was over 18 he would have to register as a sexual offender. As a 14 year old, I don’t know what would happen.
Most importantly, though, is what will happen to my daughter. I’m hoping and praying that she will be OK but I need reassurance. Out of the countless people on these boards, I am sure there a few who have dealt with similar situations. Please tell me that she will be OK.
Thank you all for your help, advice and suggestions.