child behavior

here is the thing, my son, 4 years old, was at home tonight with his father (i am at work tonight, again) and i get a call, our son is in the bedroom wearing my pink underwear. now, his father’s best friend is visiting from out of town. best friend happens to be a gay man, and the two of them find this hilarious.

now, i think of it like this: my son is in a room by himself wearing my panties. he’s 4 and curious. no big deal. therefore, don’t make a big deal about it. i think that everyone out there at did something in the ‘other room’ when they thought no one would see them.

but these guys call me at work, laughing and carrying on:

BestFriend: i’m in town for 2 hours and your son is wearing pink panties!

Father: i gotta get this on film, for leverage when he’s in high school!

i insist they do not get this on film. bathtub pics are fine, but if the wrong person sees a 4 year old boy in pink panties, well, i don’t want DFACS asking questions.

don’t get me wrong, i don’t think there is the first thing wrong with my son wanting to play dress up in my clothes. i do think though, that he was a little embarrassed to be caught. but i don’t think it was ok for the adult men to carry on about it. granted, they were in a different room, but still, i am sure my son could hear them, it is a small apt.

so, did they act inappropriately? or am i over reating? (sometimes i forget which one is 4 years old…)


I think it’s a damn shame that you have to worry about these things.
No, I don’t guess you overreacted, you have to think of things like this concerning the photograph. More than likely if it was just one or two shots among other family pics nobody would get the wrong idea.
I don’t understand why it bothers you that the guys found it so cute and funny though. They were just having fun.
I guess I’d have had to be in your shoes to actually feel annoyed :slight_smile:

well, you could always “accidently” lose the film. Personally, I think it’s great that every one is playing on a 4 year old level. That said, I don’t live in the US, and am curious what other people there think

i guess maybe i am over protective. i just don’t want him to feel picked on is my main worry. i probably am overreacting. i probably need to chill out a bit. and i am pregnant too. could be hormonal.

Bless your hormonal little heart. :slight_smile: I understand completely.
As long as they were having fun-spirited fun (no name-calling, etc), I think your son will probably be fine. The fact that dad’s best bud is gay and he doesn’t have an issue with it makes me think that it wasn’t the kind of mean-spirited teasing some grownups might indulge in.
My little boy comes in occasionally wearing my bra on his head. He’s #3 of 4, so no one blinks an eye. If he’s still doing it in high school, I’ll definitely take pictures to show my grandkids, though.
You’re the best judge of your little boy’s response to the laughter and carrying on. Trust yourself…the fact that you are concerned says “Good mom” to me. :slight_smile: Congrats on the pregnancy, too.