After another “incident” in school where he would not leave the school change room and his mother had to pick him up, I had a frank talk with him. No matter what was going on in the family, between his mother and father, his behaviour was unacceptable and would no longer be tolerated. That night he got three time outs. By the end of the night he actually seemed happy.
The next day in school he was happy all day!!
This is only one day but I think he is old enough to understand that he does have some control over his behaviour.
Thanks to everyone for their views. This post has been very helpful and influential. Its easy for a parent to get off track when issues of separation come up.
BTW, thanks Fessie for taking the time to review my previous posts. I am an admitted science geek but I am no Mister Spock. In fact, I see a lot more of myself in my oldest son than my youngest. I am reserved and quiet but I am also a very emotional person. I am actually flattered that you would try and help in this way. Thanks! Every reply I get is food for thought!
Oh, solkoe, that’s awesome! It’s amazing how counter-intuitive parenting can be sometimes, isn’t it? He really is happier when you’re a little harder on him!
I have two kids (now both older teenagers), and both could be defiant, but only the eldest was ODD. It is hard to imagine the difference until you see it in action, and have a base (in the same child) to compare normal stubbornness versus an ODD episode.
Fortunately, we’re beyond that behavior. Now we’re in to “invulnerable teen” mode. The fun never stops! Thanks for the kind words.
