ugh, I don’t even know where to begin. Let me just say as of today my children are owed over $35,000 in back support. I have decided to bring my case to the attention of State and Federal CSE authorities as I feel my county caseworker is a lazy dingbat. Anybody have any stories to share with me? Am I exhausting my resources to no avail? I don’t really think so, in the end, support or no, at least I will feel as though I tried to give my children what they deserve, support from both parents. I have had this order for 8 years, without modification, in that time, I tried reasoning, explaining, you name it, with their father, all in the hope that human decency and compassion would prevail, that he would realize how precious our sons are and want to provide everything he could for them. I realize now that that was all in vein. He must be forced to care for these children, and I will do my damndest to see that he is. Any advice? Similar stories? Is the system failing? What good are all these orders if no one is willing to (1)comply with them and (2)enforce them? :sigh:
$35 GRAND??? Good gravy!
Stories, no, advice, yes: Get a lawyer ASAP. A decent lawyer should move the court for immediate enforcement of the order, move to hold your ex in contempt of court for not paying, and move to compel him to pay the arrearages immediately. If the ex can’t cough up all $35K, put him on a payment schedule and then, if he doesn’t adhere to that, garnish his wages.
You could in theory handle it yourself, but it would be much easier, much less stressful, and probably much more successful, if you got professional legal help.
In my jurisdiction, lawyers are not allowed to take child support cases on a contingency basis (i.e., no fee unless you win, but if you do the lawyer gets a percentage). This is because the support is supposed to go to the kids (or for their welfare), not to a lawyer. (And yes, I know that having a lawyer seek the support is for their benefit.) If the law is similar in your jurisdiction – which any lawyer should be able to tell you, I would still beg, borrow, or steal a modest retainer, hire a lawyer, and agree to pay him or her the balance owed when the support starts up again. In the alternative, if you are indigent (or close to it), you might check with your State Bar Association and see if there is a legal aid program where you might be able to get legal help for free. Good luck!
I wish you luck, psycat90. If you get the state involved they might be able to help you.
When my parents divorced my father was ordered to pay child support for my brother. We thought this was fairly reasonable as my mother had, with the exception of a few part-time jobs, been out of the work force for 20 years. She refused alimony, but expected him to continue to support his son until he reached the age of 18.
My father thought differently and refused to pay. My mom and brother went through some tough times (even receiving AFDC for a short time.) Eventually, the state stepped in and garnished his wages. Of course, he would move from job to job, so there would be no check for a while until they found him again.
My brother is 27 now. My mom still gets an occasional check, since my father has yet to pay the full amount.
If you know where your children’s father is and inform the state, they can help.
Wish you were in New York State. Here, George Pataki established child support payments as family value #1, one of the best things he has done as governor. Jail time would be due to your child’s father here. You will get state help in the form of favorable judgements and strict enforcement. Local newspapers will gleefully expose your child’s father as a deadbeat dad, on page 1 if it is a slow news day. No sane man will sleep peacefully with that much media coverage and constant survelliance by law enforecment.
I’ve had really good luck with CSE. Talk to the DA’s office. It really depends on your county. It CAN take awhile, but it sounds like you’ve been patient enough. If you can’t get anywhere with the DA’s office, call Sacramento. The one time I called Sacramento, about my AFDC, not child support, I got a phone call at 5:15 THAT DAY! Merced County SUCKED…I gave them the Dads home and work phone, address, etc and it took them 18 moths to find him! San Mateo County did nothing until I insisted. Alameda County ROCKED!
In my state you do not need a lawyer. And you wouldn’t need to appeal to CSE. All you would need is his SSN, which you probably have since you were married to him. Then you would petition the court again. Do you know where he lives? Get him served. Get him before the judge or not. Show up, tell the judge that he is 35,000 in arears. Then he’ll garnish his wages. That is if he works. If he works in your state then they can get him, garnish his income tax and paycheck. Out of state can be done to if the state is one that cooperates with this sort of thing. New York is one I does.
I went 6 years with no support, no court order. I was trying to be nice. Eventually got sick of him not helping us financially or even being a “weekend dad”. So I took him to court. The judge didn’t even ask, he automatically sent the case to CSE for garnishment. Now we get our check every week, it can also be deposited directly into your bank account. The only difference between myself and some others who get their payments from CSE is…that I would have to fill out a form and request that they represent me should he quit his job and stop paying. I haven’t done that. If you were in the other status, CSE would monitor the payments for awhile and once he was in arears for say 6 months, CSE would automatically file on your behalf. They take him to court, you don’t even have to show up. They put them in jail too if they don’t pay. Women usually get into this status because their husband has a continued history of not paying even though ordered, or the woman was on ADC or something. If CSE is taking care of you this way it will not matter whether he works or not, once he’s behind and doesn’t pay up, he goes to jail.
You should not have to hire anyone to plead your case. You should be able to file in your local court for free. Call the family court in your county or the juvenile court ask them what you need to do.
Needs2know
Needs2know
In this state, all child support is paid directly to the Department of Human Resources. A check is issued to the responsible parent as established by the court at the time of custody assigment. The parent responsible for paying support must make sure that the check gets to the Department of HR on time, if not, the computer will automatically kick up the parent’s name, and he will be arrested on the spot for failure to pay child support. No lawyers, Social Services, etc. needed. The parent is taken to jail until a court date is set, then he appears before the judge. If he is a habitual offender…he gets jail time and still has to pay the support when he gets out.
I don’t know if this is of any value, but while wasting time on the net, I stumbled upon this link.
http://www.nationalchildsupport.com
I hope it’s of value.
As a divorced father of two, it is utterly incomprehensible to me that any parent with a soul would not want to provide for their child. I have two beautiful kids who live with my ex.
My ex makes three and a half times what I do and her parents take them on vacations twice a year (Hawaii, Fl, Sweden, etc.), not to mention the summer house in WI, the extravagant gifts, and the private school tuition(20K/yr)
Regardless, I can think of nothing I would rather see my money go towards! I see them every other day, have them every other weekend, turned down higher paying jobs so I can live three minutes away, and I live in a crappy one BR in a so-so neighborhood, and I don’t mind! They are my #1 priority in life and the idea of just leaving and not talking to them for a month kills me, not to mention plain lod abandonment.
I just don’t get it
That is a lot of money, but not a record.
In Calif, we contacted the DA. It took ten [yes, ten] years before they could get around to it. They have 26,000 cases & only 17 people in our County [Monterey] to deal with them.
After ten years the court got around to it & the person simply said that he made $800.00 per month but owed about 45,000 bucks which he bargained down to $26,000 & the court agreed to have him pay $50.00 per month…which the state keeps to pay for old welfare…
NOTE: A new law is coming in that says they have to pay the support even if you remarry the guy or the kid is 18. At $50.00 per month, this guy is going to be around 95 years old when its paid for.
OK well, I did my homework. There are indeed a lot of new laws I was completely unaware of. So let me shed a little more light on this scenario for you.
First, I was never married to their father, but I do know just about everything there is to know about him.
Second, he has never worked, he was disabled in an accident, he receives SSI and was awarded a large sum of money which was invested in an annuity and pays him(very well) on a monthly basis. Currently, about half of the awarded child support amount is withheld from the SSI.
Our child support order comes from New Jersey, where we both lived at the time(8 years ago), although he resides in PA and I and the children in CA.
So in my reading , I discover that I can modify and enforce my order through CA’s Child Support Enforcement Unit, there is an office for every county, I live in Sonoma County. The woman I spoke to there seemed very helpful and much more concerned than the caseworker I had been going through in NJ. I should be expecting some paperwork to complete anyday now. It also seems that until recently only wages and things like SSI could be garnished, which is why the annuity never was. That has since changed and any income that the obligor has can be attached. Some CSE Units even had property liens and seizures listed as ways of enforcement. I was aware of Federal Tax Return withholding, but, since he has never worked, that never was an avenue that could be used. I know the $35,000 owed child support appears on his credit report, because he has already told me that.
Mike, I could not agree more with your words, for that very reason, I never attempted to enforce or modify this order, I just couldn’t get it, I couldn’t, or didn’t want to, believe that my children’s father, let alone any parent, could just close their eyes to their children’s needs.
Thanks for the link Kid, but agencies like those take up to 40% of whatever money they collect, that would seem like a very last resort kind of thing to do, since I have never really gone through the usual channels, I think I’ll see how it goes before, if I ever, decide to use a collection agency.
I have to say I am really not enjoying this at all, I hate it, actually. My children have never been aware of the fact that their father does not fully support them, as I don’t think they should have to worry about money issues. They adore him, as they should, since he is their father. He does love them, of this I am sure, he just doesn’t feel that he needs to provide for them. It sounds strange, I know, and, well, he is a strange man, mentally ill, and I mean for real, in and out of hospitals and programs and such. I have simply decided it is time for this man to grow up and be accountable for his children and his responsibilities, even if that means forcing him. I will keep you all posted on my progress, thanks for sharing.
Whew! Off the hook!
If there are any parents reading who are in a similar situation here is a site that was very benefical in my research.
National Electronic Child Support Resource System
With lots of information and links to other sites pertaining to every state.
This site, http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/ , had child support calculators for nearly all states, and other valuable information as well.
“he is a strange man, mentally ill, and I mean for real, in and out of hospitals and programs and such.”
Then it would be kind of weird to force him to pay support, don’t you think? I mean seems like he must have plenty to deal with already?
Umm, no handy, it would not be weird, just because he has personal problems does not mean he is exempted from providing for his children. Hell, everybody has personal problems.
And, the way I see it, he would benefit from it, if anything. Taking money and putting it to the good of our children, rather than on alcohol and drugs and vagabond friends that leech off of him, as is the case now, and has been for quite some time.
I was never aware that SSI could be garnished. Sort of like they can’t garnish retirement income (See: OJ Simpson. He doesn’t have to pay the Goldmans anything even though he owes them millions and he collects 5 figures per month. Or so the news reports have said.).
Anyway, I echo Mike’s earlier statements. When I start feeling bad for myself because I think I’m paying too much in support, I ask myself: Would you rather be paying nothing and not have a son?
No. Of course not.
psycat90
How was he able to invest a large sum while being disabled and on SSI? It was my understanding that you are not allowed to do that, nor allowed to make over $500 a month if on SSI or SSD or they stop your checks.
If he has invested this money illegally and under an alias, then he is liable for fraud and will be required to pay back every penny he obtained from SSI.
Skribbler, they changed it in '99 to $60 a month.
To be honest, I don’t know how he managed to collect the Social Security and the annuity, for all I know it may be illegal. It was all arranged by lawyers when he received a settlement for the accident he was in. And if he has to pay it all back, that really is not my concern either.
My only concern is my children.
The purpose of the settlement he received was to provide for himself and his family since he would be unable to work. He has not seemed to concerned with the latter. My goal in all of this is not to receive more money, it is to make him realize that he cannot walk away from his responsibilities. I only want what the court says is a reasonable amount of money to assist in the support of our children, and I want him to pay the full amount, even if that amount turned out to be less than what was originally ordered. For him to simply pay on his own would have been ideal, but that obviously will never happen.