I’m over 40, married, and have no desire whatsoever to have children of my own. However, at times, I want to snuggle and cuddle and care for an infant so much that it surprises me. I love the idea of babysitting, because I could get my baby fix, and then give the little bundle back to its parents at the end of the night. No idea how to get into that, though, because none of my friends have babies, and I also have no certifications or references. Besides all of that, I can’t say that I would enjoy hanging out at someone else’s house all day, either.
Anyone else have these cravings? As someone who at one time was pretty close to actively disliking babies, all of this is a bit disconcerting.
I’ve absolutely no desire for a child and never have. Kids are great, I love being an aunt to my niece and my cousins’ and friends’ children. I also teach, so that’s about 130 kids a day.
That’s how I get the fun of children and only deal with a minimum of the negatives. Plus, I like giving the parents a few days’ ‘escape’ while I’m in charge. Maybe volunteering and babysitting could give you your baby fix.
Don’t forget they don’t automatically turn into perfect angels 24/7, just because you’re there!
ETA: You can have the kiddos over at your place, too.
Not a baby, but a grown-ish kid, yes. If Mrs. Homie and I had gotten pregnant when we first started trying, we’d have a tween right about now. I’m on a first-name basis with a handful of tweens at church and sometimes I really wish we’d been able to have kids.
Then I spark a bowl and play World of Warcraft and forget all about it.
Nothing more than an occasional rare “that book/thing/whatever would have been nice to teach to a kid” passing thought. A friend of mine would have a regular “baby season” about once a year where she’d yearn to have a kid, and then completely lose all desire to have a kid again after a few weeks of that.
My husband once brought it up in a very thoughtful way - I panicked! But fortunately, he had second thoughts, and those were the right ones from my perspective.
I have 3 dogs, so I have an outlet for my cuddle needs. I can be a dog mom with no problem, but babies are a whole 'nother level of responsibility!
Every so often, yes…especially PMS time…but then I think of diapers and 3 am feedings and teenagers…and then I want to donate my reproductive organs to science (thank you, P.S. Wall for that quote)
Nope. Every so often I think “my toddler niece is pretty fun. I’d like to spend a few hours with her,” but I get nothing from holding or being near babies.
I really like kids, and we have quite a few friends who have kids that are fun to hang out with, but this never extends to any sort of desire for my own.
If I ever felt like that, I’d’ve probably had a baby. I guess it’s no good if it starts after baby-having age, though, so here’s to crossing my fingers that I’ll never feel like that.
As it is, I see pictures of puppies and I want to pick them up and adopt them and hold them and kiss them. Babies? Blech. All I can think of is how much work they must be, and what little germ factories they are. Every thought I’ve ever had that makes me want to have a kid are vague fears about being old and who the heck is going to take care of me? Luckily, the larger part of my brain realizes that having a kid solely because I want a caregiver in old age is probably not a great idea.
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I do. I chose not to have a child because I was afraid of the possible genetic inheritance of mental illness and because I don’t trust my mother or what she’d have done if I did (for example, it wouldn’t have been out of the realm of her capabilities that should would have reported us to CPS for anything at all, like a too-late bedtime or something). So, it was the best decision.
And I followed up my choice with having all the plumbing removed when I was 39.
Regardless, it hits me harder and harder on an almost daily basis, what I missed. I cry over it regularly, whether reading something child related or watching it on TV / a movie. I think about it all the time. Of course, my husband is going through all sorts of bad health problems and we’re about to lose everything financially, so it just reinforces that the right thing was done, but it still hurts. A lot.
Once in a while I want kids. I think I am feeling the pressure of my opportunity closing (I am over 35). However, my reasons for not wanting children are good, even if kids seem to get cuter every year. Nope, not changing my mind. Since my SO doesn’t want kids either, the decision is sort of sealed.
