What are some of the things you never experienced as a child but most other people you know seem to have been through? These don’t necessarily have to be good things; they’re just things you can’t relate to by personal experience. Here’s my random list of things I never encountered while growing up:
[ul]
[li]Wear braces (I did have to wear a retainer, though)[/li][li]Get paddled at school (I had few run-ins with the principal as it was)[/li][li]Serve time in after-school detention or Saturday school[/li][li]Attend summer camp[/li][li]Get caught with porn mags[/li][li]Get caught in activity associated with said porn mags[/li][li]Participate in most pranks (tipping over an outhouse, setting a bag of dog shit on fire and leaving it on someone’s doorstep, etc.)[/li][li]Grow up with a younger sibling (I was the youngest to two older sisters)[/li][li]Stay home from school (seriously, I never missed a single day)[/li][li]Cut classes or play hooky[/li][li]Get in a fight[/li][li]Have “the big sex talk” with my parents (a friend gave me a book which I think my mom gave to him so that he could give me the book and I wouldn’t be as embarrassed)[/li][li]Play sports (after-school sports, Little League. etc.)[/li][li]Have a dog (I’m a cat lover, so I don’t really regret missing out on this)[/li][/ul]
I never broke a bone either. I never went to Chucky Cheese, or anything like that. I never had any younger siblings either (youngest of 4). However, enough people are in the same boat so I never really feel I missed out on that.
The one thing that really used to bug me when I was a kid, because all of the neighbors did it and it seemed like so much fun, was going to Sunday school. I never did it. My family wasn’t religous so I never got to go, but every Sunday there would be no one in the neighborhood to play with because they were all at church. I hated that then, it doesn’t bug me that much now.
I never had a “first woody.” I’ve been getting erections as far back as I can remember. It blows my mind when I hear people say they never got one until they were 12 or 13.
I never got to go to DisneyWorld! Back when I was young, it seemed that all of my neighborhood pals got to go, but not me. Come to think of it, I never got to go on a family vacation anywhere…ever.
Never had chicken pox as a kid. I even remember my Mom trying to expose me to kids in day care, Kindergarten etc. but it never took.
Instead, I got ‘em 4 years ago, when I was 27. I do not endorse this as a chicken pox strategy. The itching was not a big deal but I had trippy fevers for about 6 days that wouldn’t break for nothin’ (103-104 degrees). I spent most of the time in the dark because reading or watching TV bothered my eyes, gave me vertigo, and sometimes got worked into my hallucinations in baaaaaaad ways. (The guest room in our house, where I stayed, has glo-in-dark star and planet stickers festooned on the ceiling from a previous occupant…that made for some wild trips at night, too).
After the infection cleared up I felt like someone had beaten the stuffing out of me and replaced it with some sort of “essence of logy” for about a month or so.
On a related note, I was told at eighteen that my wisdom teeth were gonna cause trouble if I didn;t get 'em out by 21. Got them out at 26 instead (a procrastinator, me). Took 4 days off work cos I said I would and planned for it, and it was a pretty easy convalescence (except for falling asleep in a chair while alone in the house eating applesauce – ended up with the stuff all down my front and somehow soaking my left sock.
The pain fairy came on my first day back at work, so I spent the first week back stoned on ty-3’s and even more useless than usual.
Never went to summer camp (my parents were both teachers and so had the same vacation schedule as me)
Never went to summer school
Never went to Sunday school (or what seemed to be the Catholic equivalent, CCD, which was on Wednesdays)
Never went to church service with my parents (they never went either)
Never cut classes (except for one gym class my junior year in HS)
Never had the big sex talk (learned it from books)
Never got caught masturbating or otherwise enjoying porno
Never had siblings
Never moved to a new neighborhood
Never got arrested
Never got sent to the principal’s office for disciplinary reasons
Never got my mouth washed out with soap (did any parents actually do that?)
Never broke a bone (dislocated a couple, though)
Never got a black eye
Never climbed a tree (tried to on a few occasions, but all the trees around our house were either too big or too small)
Never got threatened with military school
That’s because it’s not true. There’s no such thing as a “first woody”, everyone has them since infanthood. Whoever told you about a “first woody” is either lying or deformed.
Never got into a fight
Never broke any bones, had any stitches or dislocated anything
Never smoked or did drugs
Never climbed anything (fences, trees, walls)
Never got caught with porn (had some * pretty * close calls though)
Never had siblings
Never had braces
