I’m not going to admit how long I spent wondering what refusing to testify so as to avoid incriminating oneself had to do with having kids.
I love you, and I would like to jump your bones. 
Damnit, no one recognizes that line when I say it to them. No one.
To buy packs. Three times a day.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure a lot of people here know where that’s from.
Clearly you’ve only seen birthing videos of people who are brave enough or crazy enough to do it without drugs.
I loved my labor/delivery experience…they hooked me up with the epidural and the Hubs and I watched Star Trek movies while I laid there. I kept poking my leg and going “OMG I CAN"T FEEL MY LEG! This is so awesome!”
Also…on having kids: “We didn’t ask God for..specific things. We said, “God..please give us a healthy child.” When you leave that much OPEN for GOD, a great number of jokes are going to come about.”–Bill Cosby
Or as they imagine themselves
And he may not have originated it - didn’t he call himself “the thief of bad gags”?
Obviously, the children should be set free so they can watch Star Trek re-runs.
I’m still trying to figure out how they’re a reasonable punishment for murder!
While OP does come off as bitter, he has a point that there are some adults out there like this. My 2nd grade teacher comes to mind. The notion that all adults are in cohorts to exploit the fragile little minds of the young is astonishingly stupid, however.
Is that the one about not incriminating yourself?
Oh, you big silly.