Her or his mouth, I meant to say. 
Let’s see: I knew early on that it took a man and a woman to make a baby, and I knew they had to be naked, but I thought it involved so sort of dance to make the baby go into the mommy’s belly. I didn’t realize that physical contact was required. Then some time in elementry school I figured out, or was told, you had to put the penis inside the woman. At first I thought it was the butt, but after some reading (and probably sex-ed in middle school) I figured out that there was something called a vagina down there. But all the diagrams I could find really sucked (obviously not drawn with someone unfamilar with the area in mind). It wasn’t until junior high and I got to look at my friend’s dad’s porno collection did I find out where the vagina actually opened up to.
Don’t feel too bad. I didn’t know I was circumcised until a year or so ago. I had never seen an uncircumcised one, so I always assumed I had the default configuration. :smack:
I thought oral sex was kissing. It had to be really passionate kissing.
My Sisters friend told us about “butt babies” and “vagina babies” she said if you came out head first and had a “innie” you were a vagina baby,but if you came out feet first had an “outtie” and flared nostrils you were a “butt baby” heh…
Says I, flaring my nostrils:
I was very, very uniformed. When I was about twelve, my male cousing used the word “fuck.” When I asked him what it meant, he told me that it was when a man and a woman take off all of their clothes and get on top of each other.
For the next two or three years I thought the woman rode around on the man’s shoulders.
I’m ashamed to say how old I was when I found that out.
One misconception (nice pun!) I had was that when I was an adult, I would actually have sex 
Seriously, though … at one point I found out that to make babies, the man “gives a part of himself” and that goes into a woman’s vagina, and produces a baby. When you think about it, it’s not such a bad description. However, because I was circumcised (and still am, strangely enough), I conflated everything I ‘knew’ about what a penis did to imagine that the ‘act’ is a surgical procedure in which a part of the penis is removed and implanted into the woman. I think urination had some part in it too, but I couldn’t quite figure that bit out.
It did seem rather distasteful and extreme, but hey - people must really want babies (so I thought) if they go through all that to make one.
Of course, I was thoroughly confused when I heard about things like accidental pregnancies, but I managed to just put it on my pile of things that I’d rather not know about.
My Mom told me that the Daddy had a seed that he planted into the Mommy. I asked where he put the seed and she replied, “Where they go to the bathroom.” I spent the next few months scouring our bathroom looking for a seed on a plate that my Mom would certainly pick up at some time and swallow.
A friend said that her aunt told of her affection for Elvis by saying, “He can put his shoes under my bed any time.” My friend thought this meant that a woman could get pregnant only by taking her shoes off.
Cindy, is that you? My mom told me when I was three or so, “That when a woman had a baby a hole opened up in the side of her bottom so that the baby could come out.” Being the inquisitive sort, I asked her if I could see it. She rather hastily explained that the hole had long since closed up and you couldn’t see it anymore. I would also like to note the following things: 1.) That I’m the youngest of three. 2.) That my parents divorced a few years later. 3.) That my mother was never so open about discussing sex, or anything relating to the genitals again. Yeah, I’ve had a screwed up life.
When I was about 3 or 4, my mom had explained to me fairly accurately about how the sperm swims up to meet the egg, and the egg divides and divides and divides (there was a series of pictures in a book that I remember pretty clearly), and it somehow turns into a baby.
What she neglected to mention–or maybe she did tell me and I was just too young to understand–was how exactly the sperm got into mommy’s tummy in the first place. So, I concluded that it must get there by grown-ups kissing.
I had a very vivid mental picture of a standard attractive early-60s couple kissing (imagine Doris Day/Rock Hudson, Tony Curtis/Janet Leigh, or the “ugly” couple from that one Twilight Zone episode). And then the woman pulled back in surprise and said “Oooh!” as she felt the sperm squiggle down her throat. Just one sperm, about the size of a tadpole. That’s what they looked like in the pictures, so of course I thought they must be that big.
I learned the truth when I was 9, but it took awhile before I really believed that people actually did that.
As soon as I could talk, my parents gave me the low-down on the facts of life. Then when I was three, my mother was car-pooling three old ladies to take them to a day clinic, and I was in the back of the car. I shouted across the three old ladies to my mother: “Mummy, when daddy put his taily in your baby-hole, did I come out nine months later or did I come out straight away.”
Then when I was five, and we were living in the US, my parents got me a book called “Where did I come from”, a cutesy cartoon about sex and conception. My parents loaned it to an American family for their son of the same age. He read it, and gave it back to his parents saying “that’s very interesting. English people are weird. So how do Americans do it?”
I thought the baby came out of the bottom hole (which I found really disgusting as it would be all covered with poo).
I thought my brother clutched some 50 pence pieces while in my mother’s womb to pay for my present “from your new baby brother” (like the tight-fisted git would ever do that!)
I didn’t realise until I read our Biology 11-13 text groups that thrusting was needed. Oh no - it doesn’t just go in…
"the penis moves rhythmically in and out of the vagina"
:eek:
text books not text groups… our human reproduction syllabus was theoretical, not practical, honest…
A friend of mine once said that oral sex was another name for French kissing. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she insisted what I suggested was so disgusting nobody would ever think of trying it. We were about 16.
When I was a kid I found out, by exploration, that I had three holes. I wasn’t supposed to touch myself “down there” except to wash, so I knew better than to ask what they were for. Well, I could see that the front hole was for peeing, and I knew the back one was for pooping. So I worked out that the one in the middle had to be for pee and poop mixed together, which I assumed was what came out when you had diarrhea.
Not exactly about intercourses, but when I was around 4 y.o. I had the weird conception that kids changed sex during childhood. Little girls becoming boys and little boys becoming girls. I’ve no clue where I found this idea, but I learned I was wrong when I asked my parents who chose the new girl name of the former boy or the new boy name of the former girl.
As for intercourses, I learnt it the day I went to my schoolteacher’s house and warned her that her dogs (she had a little kennel in her backyard) where “glued”, stuck together and unable to free themselves despite apparently making many efforts to do so. Despite my strong concern and my instistance that she should do something, she seemed not to be worried, so I reported her lack of concern to a friend who gave me the straight dope.
And I wasn’t grossed out at all but mighty pleased. I was around 8, and at this time, when I was about to sleep I had often fantaisies that once I’ll be married, my wife and me would undress and play doctor (I wouldn’t have imagined that married adults would see each other naked and would “play doctor”, so in my imagination, we would do so secretly). So, suddenly I knew that my wildest (already sexual) fantaisies would be fulfilled. And there was even more to it that just playing doctor!!! It went above and beyond anything I would have dreamed. Definitely one of the greatest days in my life…
I remember in sex-ed around 4-5th grade, the teacher was sitting with a group of us boys trying to answer questions. We understood what happened with sperm, egg, and the parts necessary. But what had us confused is just how the penis got there. She explained that “first, the penis becomes very hard”…and Bruce starts cracking up and says loudly "Oh, you mean BONER!!!) The lights came on at that time. Now we knew why we were getting those. I never looked at a girl the same again after that.
When I asked my fundie mom where babies came from, she told me that you prayed to God. As a result, I quit praying and became the godless sinner I am today.
I remember from watching Mutual of Omaha how lions and tigers and such have several litters of young.
I asked my mother how many litters she’d had before my sister and I came along.
Why did so many of us immediately go “Ewwwwww” when we first learned about sex? Is it because that part of our bodies is, for us at that point, connected with bodily elimination? Or is it the thought of one part of a person’s anatomy invading another’s?
This should be your sig line 
When I first learned about sex, I didn’t know it was fun.
I remember my mother telling me in very general terms how babies were made. What I couldn’t figure out was how the man would know that sperm had come out of his penis. I asked, and Mom just smirked and said “Oh, he knows.”