Childrearing and Minecraft

In My Humble Opinion
1

So, I have a proto-geek in the making. Not a surprise, as I was the same way growing up. Only difference is: I was 12 when I got my first computer, and it was rather limited.

Son is hopelessly, endlessly, and completely devoted to Minecraft. He doesn’t seem to tire of it, and while he’s learning and the stuff he’s making there is pretty impressive, I’m a little concerned that it’s pushing the boundaries of being obsessive.

He’s a great reader, and used to draw a LOT…lately his artistic leanings have been coming through in Minecraft, so he’s still scratching that itch…I’m just hoping to find a way to bend his skills in a little different direction. Not eliminate minecraft (which has a surprising amount of depth), but I want to broaden his horizons a little.

Does this seem out of line?

We’ve got a graphics tablet, and while I could wrap his head around digital artwork, or perhaps early programming concepts, I’m thinking it’s still got his little butt tied to the chair and isn’t helping him, well, socially. That said, I’ll often find when I push the kids outside that he’s off to the side, doing his own thing. Not unexpected, again, I was the same way.

I’m not expecting quarterback, Standup Comic, National book tour levels of people interaction, but the ‘wake up, get on minecraft, eat when ya gotta, got to bed’ lifestyle of the ubergeek…well, he’s 9, I don’t want him there yet.

2

My daughter sits on my lap each night and plays Minecraft with me for about 15-20 minutes. It’s pretty fun. I guess I’d suggest a blanket limit of screen time: he gets an hour or so a day, and beyond that he needs to find something else to do. Weekends he might have more time.

3

Unintentionally Blank, I could have written your post. My 9 year old son is also obsessed with Minecraft. He doesn’t even really play it, as much as he’s constantly installing new mods. I’ve helped him get started and consequently know more about it then I ever thought I would. Now he wants to host his own server (not happening…) I am glad he’s learning computer skills, but I do have to work hard to get him to do other things. I’ve installed a timer on his computer and he is limited to 2 hours of computer time a day.

4

He’s 9 you should be limiting his screen time because at this point in his life he’s unable to.

I think cutting back from complete access to an hour a day is going to be pretty rough but you know you’re schedule better than anyone so I’d suggest the following:

Map out your day and figure out how long he needs for the basic things
Sleep
Basic self care (Shower, dressing, teeth etc)
Meals (eating, helping prepare)
School
Homework
Chores

Figure out how much time is left and allocate part of that to screen time and part to no screen time. Careful because if you set screen time too high to start he’s going to see it as further punishment if you reduce it later. Now that I think about it you might be better off going to a really restrictive time now and easing up as he does more off screen time.

The less restrictive way to handle it is to just book him into a class for some activity he’s interested in (art lessons?) and make it more subtle :slight_smile: Mothers, we need to be sneaky sometimes.

5

I’m not a parent, but I grew up similarly to your kid, and I think you may be underestimating how socially interactive online games like minecraft can be.

When I was young, my parents were always concerned about the amount of video games I played and time I spent online and on the PC doing random crap. They didn’t like that whenever our family went camping I brought along a gameboy, or just listened to music on a portable cd player.

But I got straight A’s in school, went on to college, had plenty of good friendships, etc. I now have a great career, a boyfriend whom I love dearly, and a great network of friends. I am extremely happy with my life, and I lived a pretty sheltered youth of basically no sports or extracurricular activities to speak of.

I do encourage you to instill some love of physical activity into his life by taking him on outdoor trips, etc, because you don’t want him to develop habits that will lead to him being entirely sedentary and have his health suffer. But, I am living evidence that kids who are allowed to spend as much time as they want (most days) playing video games and being on the internet can grow up to be happy, well-adjusted adults. As long as he’s doing well in school, and seems happy with his life, then I’d be happy and supportive of him.

As he grows up, if you start noticing depression, or societal anxiety, or he starts shirking responsibilities… then I think it’s time to start intervening more.

So in short, encourage other activities, and putting some time limits on his computer and video game time is definitely not outrageous, but don’t worry too much about it.

6

May I ask, what are you doing while he is spending all this time on the computer? I know my husband and I have been guilty of spending a good portion of our evenings in front of the TV or computer (or both!) while wanting our son to spend less time there. We need to lead by example.

How about instead of cutting back on his computer time, you add family activity time. Instead of, “you have to stop playing Minecraft”, say, “we’re going for a walk now” or “we’re going to play a board game now.” If you suddenly say he only gets an hour of computer time or your cutting his computer time in half or whatever, he’s going to think he’s being punished, especially if you are still spending a lot of time there.

7

I’ll be first to admit the family’s been known to all be in the same room, all looking at the glow of different LCD screens. And I’ll also be first to admit I spend 85% of my waking hours in front of a computer. Honestly, it’s more a gut reaction than anything else, and that gut instinct is saying that the issue is Minecraft, not computer time.

An average summer day has the kids waking up when they want to, doing what they want to (minecraft), until 11am…at which point they get hosed down, clothed, and fed, then kicked out in the sunshine til dinner or so, then it’s another 3 or 4 hours (of minecraft) til bed.

His using Minecraft is also usually with youtube in the background. There’s a guy there that has a web series (Minecraft: Survive and Thrive) that’s actually pretty good, and to be honest, the stuff my son creates there is pretty impressive.

I think the concern is more a hyper-focus on minecraft and nothing else that concerns me. We already have one functionally useless (40 year old) family member that spends every waking moment in a darkened room playing videogames because my father in law won’t kick him out of the house. I’m ensuring we don’t have another.

I guess the message (whether he sees it that way or not) is “Minecraft is okay, buy too much of ANYTHING is a bad thing…lets see what else you might find interesting.”

8

Er, I have nothing useful to add, but I read the thread title as “Childbearing and Minecraft”! :eek:

9

In other words, he learned it by watching you!

While there’s nothing wrong with playing games in moderation, I do think that spending almost all day on the computer really isn’t good for a kid.
There are so many other skills he could be working on developing, not to mention the risks associated with a sedentary lifestyle.
It’s also rather troubling that he already has a “role model” for a life of staying in dad’s basement playing video games at 40. You may not intend for that person to be a role model for him, but if he’s spending time around that person he may be influenced to see that as a normal way of life. That definitely would make me extra-vigilant about wanting to broaden his horizons now while you still have some influence.

I do think that the best approach would be to try to keep him busy with other fun/constructive activities rather than being punitive about not letting him on the computer. He will probably resent it if you just tell him not to use the computer.
For example, if you can get him into a language class or a music class after school, that’s a skill that he can carry with him for the rest of his life. It’s easiest to learn a new language before puberty, so I really think all kids should get that exposure early if they can. I know that I wish I had stuck with learning a musical instrument back when I was kid because it’s not like I have time to practice now that I’m a grown up. Those are also skills that could potentially help with college applications or job applications in the future.
The video games will always be there later, but other opportunities might not be.

10

Well, in the interest of full disclosure, it’s not like he’s spending each day every day…it’s just that if we let them, he would. I think the parental timers will go the furthest to enforce it at a level that’s appropriate. (we’re leaning on 2 hours on the computer, 2 on the phone during the week, and maybe an additional hour on the computer during the weekend)

They really DO get away from the machines, it just seems like he’s forever on minecraft.