I’ve got a couple of six year old boys. In the last two or three months their minds and hands have developed to the point where they can really enjoy video games.
This is a two edged sword as I like video games too. It means they have access to 30-40 games on Xbox, Xbox 360, Nintendo DS, PC and Wii.
It also means they can go from watching TV, watching a movie on the file server, Play on the Xbox in the guest bedroom, and well, walk through everything on the list above.
We’re pretty strict on time spent on any one item, and have a couple of ‘screen free’ nights a week where everything is turned off, but I look at how Mom and I fill the day (lots of time on the SDMB, TV, etc.) and wonder if it’s either hypocritical, or not as harmful to the kids as my gut instinct tells me.
There’s also the issue of whats’ going to happen when they’re home for the summer. The plan right now is to work at home a day, the wife works at home a day, and we have a sitter three days a week in home. I don’t want them spending 6-8 hours a day in front of a computer/console this summer.
And yet, I remember being a kid and spending HOURS in front of a computer or TV during the summer. I watched enough to get sick of it and went outside.
So, what say you? Too much? Not enough? Much ado about nothing?
My parents never limited my computer/TV time (they are pretty big TV junkies themselves, but I gravitated more to the 'net, which was shiny and new at the time). I ended up developing pretty hardcore MMORPG addiction in my teens, and would often spend pretty much all my free time playing computer. I still use the computer a hell of a lot (including for my work, which is a good thing of course), though I have finally managed to quit the hold MMORPGs have on me only after much struggling with myself.
I think a bigger issue in my household was that it was emotionally and socially dysfunctional and there was very little meaningful human interaction going on at all. My parents are socially maladapted themselves so I came to pick up some of their bad habits and always struggled at making friends, even though I wanted to. I think the important thing is that your family does stuff together, and that you strongly encourage your kids to get involved with social activities.
It’s not an inherently bad thing to enjoy spending your free time with games and such, but I think instead of focusing on telling them not to play at certain times, focusing on fostering their interest in other activities is the way to go. As a kid (and even as an adult) I always resented being told what I couldn’t do, but if I had just been encouraged to get involved in more things I enjoyed that didn’t involve the computer, I would have went along with it.
We’ve never really limited game time for our kids (10 and 11 now) apart from being grounded and therefore deprived of privileges. My son, the 10 year old, gets bored with games after a while and moves on to other things, like his bike, the trampoline, even books. My daughter (11) never really cared that much for games to begin with and spends time riding her bike, or watching movies, or texting on her phone or chatting on MSN, or at lessons at her dance class.
We’ve had the same approach to junk food too and neither kid eats much of it. Sometimes limiting exposure can be counter-productive. There are ways to raise kids without having a million rules. They need to feel in control and as long as they’re making some overall sound decisions about what to do most of the time cut them some slack. You’ll know if and when things are out of control, but in the mean time as long as they have lots of options, they’re bound to exercise them.
I’ve been thinking of letting them get their fill…use them till they’re sick of them and see what happens. I think that’d work for the one…the other, OTOH, would sit in front of the TV til his brain rotted. He’s been that way since birth.
We usually have TV, computers and games off well prior to lights out. Which just leaves reading or chatting. Mostly it’s reading. Both of my kids have become big readers, but also know their way around modern toys and games. Also there is no TV on until everyone’s homework is done, since that can be a distraction. Not necessarily fair to the one kid who may have their work done, but it’s also quiet time. If one of them tends not to have homework then I make some up for them. My main complaint about their school is lack of homework and challenges for them.
I too have one kid who would sit in front of a screen until her brain rotted. What I generally do is just try to naturally have stuff going on so that we don’t have a lot of time for TV. In the summer, every morning that I can, we get to the gym around 8am for me to work out, and then we head straight to our friends’ swimming pool and stay there for a couple of hours (it’s a gathering place for anyone who wants to come, so there’s usually several kids). Then we go home for shower, lunch, and probably find a friend or two to play with for the afternoon. This year I also want to spend a lot of time in my mom’s garden every morning before it gets hot; I’m still trying to work out where I can fit that in. Maybe before the gym.
I don’t usually allow TV/games when we have guests; I sort of imply that if you have a friend over you don’t need TV. I know this gets sort of tricky when you have kids who all want to play video games, but maybe you can say that everyone can play games after they’ve played outside for a certain length of time, so they only end up on the games for the last 30-60 minutes.
I really think that when kids do nothing but play games with their friends, they miss out on a lot of social interaction time and development. I know they talk to each other while playing, but it’s pretty much only in one way. So while some gametime is fine with me, I think it’s important to make sure that they get a variety of experiences with their friends.
If your kids are 6, you can spend lots of time at the library and do the summer reading club!
I know what you mean, but the fact is that all the time I spend online is not the best time of my life. I need to cut down myself, and I don’t want to teach my kids that life consists of sitting in front of a screen. It’s way too easy to spend hours in this way, and it isn’t good for me either.
As a non-parent I think if you’re asking the question, you probably think something’s wrong. Limiting your kids access to games is not going to hurt them any. Do what you thinks best.
I am dumb about such things, but it amazes me in this computer age, how much kids are still kids. Yesterday it was beautiful in Chicago and I walked past the park and sat down and watched the kids.
There was one girl pouring mud all over her brother’s head. He would then get up and chase her with a stick. He’d then go sit down and play in the dirt, she’d grab some more mud and pour it all over him and he’d get up and chase her with a stick and they kept doing this.
I kept thinking, this is something I would’ve done. I thought kids would be too sophisticated to do that. (The kids looked about 4 and 5 years old). Frankly the boy and girl were running and yelling and just overall having fun. I don’t think I’ve been that happy in the last 20 years. And all it took was mud and a stick for each of them to have fun all afternoon.
The thing is left to their own devices, kids will make their own fun, so if YOU feel it’s necessary to limit their exposure, do it.
My daughter had tons of homework in kindergarten (International school overseas). My son didn’t have much if any. They are in elementary and middle school now - sorry for the confusion.
Don’t worry so much about being inconsistent. As with alcohol, sex, and so many other things, rules for kids and adults are different, and there’s no harm whatsoever in your 6YOs learning this first with respect to video games.
Yeah, this resonates pretty strong with me. We’re currently going through a ‘we don’t want you playing in the forest’ phase. (The house opens up to open space) It’s not that we DON’T want them playing there (and we’re clear about that), it’s that we want to know where they are.
As their sphere of influence gets larger, it’s a heckuva lot harder to keep track of them. There’s 5 or 6 houses (and Open Space) where they can be now and it’s pretty easy to think ‘I haven’t heard from them in 3 hours or so.’ Only to find them at the end of the block, playing with light sabers.