I got my flu shot this week. The needle was so small, I didn’t even bleed, and the nurse didn’t use a bandaid because she couldn’t find where she poked me. I told her next time she should aim at a freckle, for a reference point.
ETA: Yeah,** Jragon** my mom had to sit on me to give me ear drops at about that age. It sucked. My doc said if I had one more infection, I’d have to get tubes put in. Worked like a charm, I haven’t had one since.
Oh, I forgot about eye drops. (I got my first pair of glasses as a fetus, practically.) It took four nurses and my mom sitting on me, and then once the hell was over the doctor saunters in and does his thing. There were times they gave up and decided they didn’t really need to dialate my eyes that time. I can’t believe that same girl had LASIK, honestly. I still go to my pediatric eye doctor, though. I hated him when I was a kid - he wasn’t so much as an “eye doctor who loves children” as he was an “eye doctor who loves studying eye diseases of children,” and I used to draw pictures of him in dunce caps and devil’s tails in a hangman’s noose. He’d put them up in his office. I love him now - I don’t mind that I have to sit in the tiny little chairs and the only magazines are Highlights and those old Illustrated Children’s Bibles. Dude’s a good eye doctor… for grownups.
Of course, these days he’d be arrested for that poem.
MOLESTER!
They should just act like me and nearly pass out (sad thing is, I was 20).
The vaccine scare is funny to me. The only thing that ever happened to me that was an adverse reaction to an inoculation was the smallpox shot I received before I went overseas in 1989 as a member of the US Army.
I had a golfball-sized lump in my left armpit shortly thereafter for a few days. I freaked about it to my battallion CO and I was told basically to suck it up and drive on. Well, it DID go away after a few more days.
All my kids have had their shots on schedule. Nothing bad to report. Usual sicknesses due to germ exposure, but nothig other than that.
I’ll be certain to get back to you when my children’s vaccines kill them.
Oh God, eye drops. gets bad, bad flashbacks
I’ve read about jet injectors they use instead of a needle–kind of like the spray thing they used on Star Trek, they use a stream of gas. It almost sounds like it’d be more painful, though, and more chance of an embolism. Sucks for us trypanophobia sufferers right now.
Captain Socks, weren’t you a little kid about two years ago? Granted, you never pissed me off, but aren’t you a little young to yell at kids to get off your lawn? I don’t mind kids screaming at vaccinations as it seems like there is a rationale to it. It’s the kids screaming at the grocery store that piss me off.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH. My pet peeve. Experienced people can see a needlephobe a mile away and will know in an instant if it’s a calm talk job or a get it over NOW job (and with kids, yes, hold them firm and get it over NOW).
I’ve been on the receiving end of an hour-long screaming, sobbing, sweat-fest with a parent who thought he could reason with his needlephobic kid. Every time we got the gear ready (and yes, I not only get it ready but over and done with like greased lightning) the kid would scream that he wanted to lie down then have more hysterics and scream that he wanted to sit up. By the time he had screamed for an hour (and for the record, I used EMLA and explained it was numbing cream, to no avail) and we had been through the lie down/sit up performance three billion times, and the entire hospital, hospital carpark and adjoining homes had been subject to screams of blue murder for the entire hour it finally got through to his father that reasoning of any sort wasn’t going to work. I told him that to start with, but hey. Father and workmate held the kid down while he twisted his entire body away (arm was pinned firmly though) AND SCREAMED AS THOUGH HE WAS DYING: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
He was still screaming NOOOOOOOOOO after the three seconds it took to get the blood were over and done with. Then he saw the deed had been done without him feeling a thing and stopped yelling mid-yell, just about. That parent fucked me off. If he’d just listened, we’d have had the whole thing done an hour earlier albeit with screaming and pinning down but sans worsening the headfuck the kid already had.
I remember one time when my son was a baby and for some reason had to have three shots all in the same day. For the first shot, he was stoic. At the second shot, he was unhappy but realized that sometimes bad things happen. By the third shot, it was Bitch, what is your problem?!?!
I never really minded shots, but the first time a doctor tried to put a contact lens in my eye, Mom and a nurse had to hold my hands down. The funny thing is that I was fourteen years old and wanted contact lenses very much.
Strangely or not so strangely, my son has gotten much better about shots the older he’s gotten. When he was just a teeny baby and learning to crawl, he’d scream holy hell. At one year old, it took two people to hold him down - he’s a strong little bugger. At two and a half, he doesn’t cry at all. It probably has a LOT to do with us allowing him a lollipop after a doctor’s visit, but also something to do with an honest explanation of what’s going to happen first. If he gets a nasty surprise, he tends to flip out. If he knows what’s coming and things proceed as explained, he’s generally calm.
After telling him what would happen Wednesday (“The nurse will clean and dry your leg, there’s be a little pinch and she’ll put on a bandaid, then we can go.”) I sat him on the table, bent down so he could wrap his arms around my neck and didn’t have to watch the needle, he got the shot and we were on our way without even a whimper. Still, I’m not fooling myself that it was my stellar explanation beforehand. Since he’s been asking to go back to the doctor, even if it means a shot, so he can get more orange candy, I get that it’s the candy.
When I was younger, I had some jackass doctor who really didn’t give a crap how much the shots hurt - he was a production-line kind of guy. Get 'em in, get 'em out. Jerk. The only thing going for me was how nice my mom was afterward. She wasn’t always the greatest mom, but she did believe us when we said something hurt and took great pains to make it better or distract us.
Did he also know:
Mary had a little bear
To whom she was so kind;
And everywhere that Mary went,
You saw her bear behind!
Don’t they give out prizes or lollipops anymore? As a kid, I would have cheerfully allowed the pediatrician to stick needles in my eyes if a goody bag was part of the deal.
Remember how you used to get those cards good for a free small fries at McDonald’s? God, I loved that - we never ate fast food except on long car trips when I was a kid, and when I got those little certificiates.
It took 3 (handsome) firefighters to hold my daughter down so the doc could fish out the raisins she’d stuck up her nose. She was about 18 months old and screamed hysterically the whole time.
Made those firefighters cry, she did.
Our pediatrican only gives stickers, but at the dentist they come away with a whole bunch of loot.
Were the firemen just passing, or did the doc have to call them out?
Oh yes, my grandchildren don’t quite believe me. The whole class lined up in front of the teachers desk where the doctor sat with a huge needle and an open flame. Between each injection he sterilised the needle over the flame and jabbed the next one AND if you showed any fear you were teased by doctor, teacher and your friends.
I think I need some therapy
It was one of those after-hours issues (isn’t it always), so we were in the ER and the firemen were hanging around.
They might’ve been EMTs.
All I knew is, I sure felt a lot better.
HA! I had Dr. Crouch! Did he ever throw your shoes into the trash can?
A red hot poker…excellent idea. Just don’t spank 'em 