I’ve heard what a hellish experience it is for parents when their infant begins their first rounds of vaccines. I thought I was prepared; baby RuffLlama was jaundiced at birth and had to endure blood tests 5 times in his first 10 days of life. He had a small shot at 4 weeks, too, so I thought this round of vaccinations at 2 months wouldn’t be so bad.
Oh. My. God.
I never, ever want to hear that sound come out of my child again.
He was so cute, so happy, so adorable for the nurses and doctors, showing off his smile and impressing them with what a happy little baby he was. He was smiling at me, looking me right in the eye, when he received the first injection…and watching that beautiful, happy face contort into surprise, terror, and pain, all while looking at me…OMG. Then they gave him his second shot, and his cries reached a pitch I have never heard before, a near whistle that just pierced my heart.
As soon as it was over, the nurse let me feed him right there in the examining room for a few minutes to soothe him. He latched, but would unlatch to whimper, then relatch, suck, unlatch, whimper…it just broke my heart. He didn’t cry much after that, though, and managed to sleep on the drive home, though I occasionally heard a half sob, half whimper come out of him on the way. That was when it was my turn to cry.
He slept a lot of the day away, but when he was awake, he was crying this urgent wail that just broke Ruffian’s and Deathllama’s hearts. By evening I could get him to smile again, thank God, and this morning I heard his first giggle.
But that look, that sound…shudder It had me aching for a glass of wine at noon, though I couldn’t partake. Even 24 hours later my mommy nerves are shot.
And we have to go back for more next month (I asked them to spread out the shots so he wouldn’t be getting 4 injections at once, yipe!). This time I’m making sure DeathLlama goes, too…holy hell.