You see a family whom you don’t know. You notice that the children address their parents as “sir” and “ma’am”. Do you automatically think those parents are assholes?
No, that would never occur to me.
Not automatically. I’d just wonder if it was time for a singing governess to enter the picture.
You’re the second person with a reference to that movie. I don’t get it. 
I’d assume they were southerners. That’s standard practice there.
Ditto.
Just that in Sound of Music, the kids were very “Yes, sir, no sir,” and things were a bit hands off. Until Julie Andrews sang her way into Captain Von Trapp’s life and things lightened up and then Nazis came.
I’m 43 years old, raised in the South since I was 10 years old. I still call others “sir” and “ma’am” regularly, although I never called my parents that.
When I went to college I moved from South Florida to Panhandle Florida, which is Deep South territory, and I heard everyone saying “sir” and “ma’am”, and people generally seemed to use it as a sign of respect for whoever they were addressing. I soon adopted the practice, and it’s now a completely unconscious thing.
I think when I was younger I saw being forced to say it as oppressive, but as a voluntarily offered measure of respect, I like using the words.
Thank you Freudian Slit. Someone mentioned it in the GQ thread and I was puzzled. I reckon when I saw the movie as a child, I didn’t think anything of the "sir"s, since everyone here does it.
I’m not sure I’d think their parents were assholes – I might not even think they were their parents at all, if that’s how they were addressing them.
I wouldn’t think they were assholes. Each to his own, etc. I don’t think it denotes subservience, just respect, and I’ve always thought of “Mom” and “Dad” (or the local equivalents) as terms of respect anyway.
I’d think the parents were probably from the South and pretty good parents.
Well, to be fair, it wasn’t just the sirs. Captain Von Trapp (in the film) uses whistles to tell them when to come, makes them line up, doesn’t allow playing or singing (only marching) and is basically an exaggerated strict movie dad.
I can’t really imagine using “sir/ma’am” on my parents or anyone. I’m polite to people whom I meet in real life, and I try to be polite to people on the Internets, but I’ve just never really used “sir.”
I would assume they were from the South. And that they may or may not be assholes; “sir” and “ma’am” would not be part of how I made that determination, were I to make it.
I’ve lived all over the place, though, and this is a highly regional thing.
Well, I was expected to call my parents ‘‘sir’’ and ‘‘ma’am’’ growing up. (I was born and raised in Michigan.) My parents were, in fact, assholes. But I don’t think there is a direct correlation or anything.
One of my Southern grandmothers (I’m not sure how Southern you really are if you grew up in and lived part of your adult life in Altoona, PA) tried to get me to say sir and ma’am while at her house. It didn’t work very well, as my parents didn’t care, and a 2,000 mile distance makes it difficult for any sort of consistency in making a child do that.
So not necessarily assholes. But it sure seems old-fashioned.
I voted yes, but that’s because the only kids I knew who addressed their parents that way did come from an abusive home, so, yeah, assholes.
I often use “sir” as a sign of affection, respect, and most importantly politeness. “Thank you, sir.” “Here’s the thing you asked for sir.” I would frequently hear my dad call his father “sir” (but not exclusively - he would also use “Dad”) and I picked up on it. I was never expected to call my father or grandfather “sir” but on occasion I do. Most of the time it’s “Dad” or “Grandpa.” I’ve even caught myself calling my almost 3 year old son “sir” once or twice.
I almost never use it with strangers (because that would seem weird). “Sir” is much more a familiar word for politeness with loved ones.
Never use “ma’am” because I never heard it used growing up.
My dad and grandpa are not assholes.
Born and raised in Michigan.
Dad was an officer, so I was raised with ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’, and excusing myself for interrupting and asking to be excused from the table. And dad called me ‘sir’ in return, though I was single-digits old. I feel it shows mutual respect, and even now I can be polite if I want to be.
Uh, no. But I called my father “sir” all the time, so I guess you’re really asking me if my dad was an asshole, which is, again, “no”.