On visitors by storing stones.
So he was planning primatetated assault?
Good one !
Hmm…
'Neighbors, when interviewed for this story, would only say that Santino was a quiet, pleasant neighbor, and they can’t imagine what would have driven him to these savage acts of violence." :eek:
“Update: Santino, in a rage over a reported attack on his sister Connie, leaped the fence of his enclosure and was cut down in a hail of gunfire by a rival mob of gibbons.”
And once more, the Monolith smiles.
Why is this a surprise? When i was a kid, the franlin park Zoo (Boston) had a chimpanzee. this guy would save his crap (actually roll it into balls), and fling it at visitors.
He probably has Lyme disease.
He needs to stop these gorilla warfare tactics and return to the negotiating table.
He…uh…should…monkey joke.
Shit. 
It is impressive to realize that here we have an animal advanced enough, intelligent enough, to be…sort of an asshole (just like most people are!).
Lesson: Don’t be a Homer.
That poor, frustrated animal. (No, I am NOT being sarcastic.) At least his distress will help push people past the idea that they are the only ones with “real” thoughts and feelings.
(FTR, I am neither a PETA member nor a vegan, so please don’t go there.)
Interesting. There was some thread, some time back, where the poster was asking at what point mankind surpassed animals. A lot of people said when we started making tools, but I said once we started to plan out traps (non-instinctually.)
I had been more thinking in terms of setting up something like a pitfall, where you were considering the actions of your prey and leaving behind traps that would be tripped without your own intervention.
This is quite near to that. The regularity of daily visitors makes them rather easy to predict, and the trap wasn’t one that was independent of the ringleader. But he did include his fellow monkies in the plan, which allays the second shortcoming somewhat.
So I don’t know if I need to move my demarcation back some, or if monkeys are closer to human capabilities than I had assumed. Though certainly this fellow is probably at the high end of the monkey IQ spectrum.
When I was a kid, I had a volume of (true) zoo stories. One of them was about an elephant who’d been trained to accept coins from zoo visitors (hey, it was a different time) and then drop them into a coin box and ring a bell; when he heard the bell, the keeper would then come out and give the elephant a big gumdrop.
One slow day, with no visitors around, the keeper heard the bell ring. He went out and checked; there was a coin in the box, so he gave the elephant a gumdrop, wondering where the coin had come from, since there was no-one around. After having the same thing happen a few more times, he searched the entire enclosure.
The elephant had set aside a store of coins in an inconspicuous spot, saving them for a slow day.
[nitpick]Chimpanzees are apes, not monkeys. Monkeys have long, prehensile tails which they can use to hang from tree-branches, apes do not. Gorillas and orang-hutans are also apes.[/nitpick]
This is much more effective when you imagine it in Roddy McDowell’s voice.
Nitpicking the nitpick. Some New World monkeys have prehensile tails. Old world monkeys do not have prehensile tails…
It’s obvious frm the OP’s linked story the this scientist is hallucinating.
I mean, this guy thinks he has chimps in his head. 
Believe me, you guys do not want to know what the chimps in my mind show very clearly…