Just a question:
Magnetic bracelets, de-ionisors, snake oil, or psychotherapy - which is the best choice according to you?
None of the above. I want an e-meter so I can be a Clear.
Fenris
I’m gettin’ me a time cube!
X-ray goggles.
Cos there are some really cute boys at work…
They’re all useless without a tinfoil hat to keep aliens from cooking your brain with laser-beams.
A quartz crystal keeps me [sub]b[/sub]a[sup]l[/sup][sub]a[/sub]nc[sup]e[/sup]d.
“There is one problem with San Francisco, there are a lot of the karma types around here, especially the lesbians, you know, not snifffff this, that’s the type of crystal you boys do… no, it’s the thing they wear around their necks. 'It’s my crystal, it’s my power, it’s my crystal. It’s my crystal, it’s my power, it’s my power. It’s my crystal, it’s my power - ’ IT’S A ROCK. ‘No no no no no, it’s my crystal, it’s my power. Don’t touch it, don’t touch it, you’ll cloud my power, it keeps me in tune with the universe!’ YOU LIVE IN A VAN! I DON’T THINK IT’S WORKING!”
- Lea Delaria
I turn to our Lord God, The Prince Of Darkless, the Horned One Himself, Satan, for solace in these troubled times.
That and my addiction to this message board.
This was my day today:
I started the day with herbal tea and slow enema, and it was very soothing. After that I had to do some auto induced rebirthing to reset my temporally fragmented stress cycle, I knew that because a friend (she’s a third level psychic) told me last night in our chrystalogy study circle that my aura was lopsided and that it was probably due to all the bad background energy that the War on Terrorism has produced (I’m very sensitive to sub-kinetic psychic radiation). The rebirthing helped, but I was really tired after that so before I went to work I sneaked in on a yoga class that I wasn’t really scheduled for. As I was leaving the class I met my ex. That was little stressful since we still haven’t been able to readjust our secondary karmas after the breakup (I’m a typically orange hue aura person, so these things take some time with me). Anyway we talked and decided that we might sign up for some post relational group counseling, and that made me feel much better, but then I realized that maybe I wasn’t ready for that step in our un-relationship yet, so by the time I came to the bookstore (I work in a bookstore that specializes in European literature from 1954), I was breathing pretty heavy and not feeling well at all. Thankfully we have an aroma therapy room in the back and my boss knows exactly how hard this has been on me, so he has no problem with me spending quite some time in there. I certainly helped to settle some of the meta-psychic influences that were harming me at that point, but somehow I still felt distressed and the rest of the day was just awful. Around four o’clock a man came into the bookstore and just oozed negative energy, I knew before he asked that he wanted something by Camus (they really negative energy fielders always read Camus). I tried to convince him to read some Sartre instead, but he was very stubborn about his dreadful Camus so I gave in eventually. As you can understand the whole day was destroyed after that. I was so lucky that I had my psychoanalysis session scheduled this afternoon. It was really scary though. I went back to my childhood again…there is so much to find out from the past. Today I finally understood my fear for people who wear brown shoes. You see I suddenly remembered that when I was about four years old my mother took me to the mall and I got lost, when she found me she was really angry at me for getting lost and she screamed at me, I was already really scared from being lost, so that just made it worse. She was wearing brown shoes that day…no wonder I could never stand people in brown shoes after that. So that was my psychoanalysis… it didn’t really help though. When I got home I lit some incense and bathed my collection of crystals . I had a soothing bath myself after that, but I still can’t stop thinking about my ex, so now I’m going to go to bed and maybe tomorrow morning some herbal tea and an aroma enema will help me. I don’t know… I’ve been thinking of giving up on the psychoanalysis and switching to psychotherapy (it’s nice when they say something as well), or maybe I will try focusing more on my crystalogy, or maybe I just need a new analyst…I think I better sleep on that.
Good night all of you and thanks for listening…don’t forget to set your dream catchers the right way before you tuck in.
Love
New Sparc
Obligatory clarification: post in jest without specific targets
Oh, yeah? And what, precisely, did Sartre publish in 1954?
Bloody new age poseurs . . .
By the way, an “aroma enema?” I don’t even want to know.
Hey Sparc, time for another enema I think. Sounds like the shit is banking up there boy, it’s coming out in your writing now. 
Okay, matt, it’s time to disclose your infinite source of Queer Quotes™
Maybe it has something to do with those minty-fresh toilet bowls that someone else was ranting about. (Sorry, can’t find the thread now…)
That’s because you were educated stupid and evil by stupid evil educators!
And dammit, I sort of liked Camus’ The Stranger. That probably means I didn’t totally get it, though.
A quart of nice cider vinegar will balance your pH, soothe your aching joints, kill your foot fungus and melt away those excess pounds.
But it won’t help your geographic tongue.
funny, when I read this, your post count was:
WSLer
Member
Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Currently Bath, ME,
Posts: 666
Coincidence…or…
No, Gozu, you’re just reading the screen while hanging upside from the ceiling like a bat. It really reads:
MSI_er
Wewper
\dedisterep: Ial 2001
I_ocatiov: Carrevtl/ Bat4 WE
bosts: 999
That, and someone’s replaced my ‘e’ key with a schwa.