Driving throughout the cUS, scanning the FM band for decent radio, I found myself stumbling on tens, if not hundreds, of Christian radio stations. Thing is … even if there’s no mention of God or Jesus, no Southern accents, nothing sounding like someone speaking from a pulpit, or the station is outside the 88-92 MHz range, I just knew that a station had primarily religious broadcasting just by hearing it for a second or two.
So … what is it about religious radio stations where you just know they’re religious, even if you’ve been tuned to them for only a couple of seconds?
Well, most US commercial radio is very formulaic, and there aren’t all that many formulas. Basically you have country, urban, top 40, classic rock, news, talk, and Christian – with only 7 basic formats, the odds of picking the right one aren’t too bad.
Also, radio station ownership is increasingly concentrated, since the FCC has lifted most restrictions on broadcast station ownership. For example, Clear Channel Communications owns over 1200 radio stations in the US (no Christian ones, as far as I know). Stations owned by the same company tend to have the same programming, and the same on-air talent, so they all sound quite similar.
It always sounds more like Flanders Radio to me, all happy and hopeful and that. A lot of the other formats have moved either towards Edge[sup]TM[/sup] or aren’t concerned much with image to begin with (NPR).
There’s a certain cadence and vocabulary amongst that set. Even the weather report is all like, “It looks like a guuuuhhhlooorrrrious day for the tri-state area . . .” They emphasize some words and phrases that pass without emphasis in a secular broadcast.
There’s also a very specific sucktastic keyboards-and-sparklies sound to almost all mainstream Christian music that you can pick up on within a second or two, allowing you to lunge for the “seek” button before you have to start listening to lyrics about Jesus.
yea i no what ya mean by keyboard sparklies, but i must say i heard this one sone at 1 in the morning that sounded more hardcore than the most hardrock ive ever heard. Realllly heavey guitars, bass and a man screaming his lungs off, mostly incomprehensible cept the word Jesus and savior a couple times.
Ive never been able to find taht song Or group, but i would like to add it to my godsmack/disturbed/rob zombie collection
-pk
I do the Drive Home Show at the biggest Christian Radio Station in Canada, and we do not sound like “Flanders” at all. Our production, commercials, news, music, and announcers are all top notch, and our ratings prove it. If you think that all Christian radio sounds “curchy”, you’re not hearing them all!
I can sypathyse with what you’re saying though. When I think of all the people in Christian media who are living up to the worlds stereotypes, it makes me want to deny my faith (almost). Please know that we’re not all like that. Instead of preaching, or prosteletysing, we prefer to let our (great) music do the talking, and conduct ourselves on air in a manner that would make a person of any faith feel welcomed.
When encountering preachy stations, though, you might want to remember that in radio, programmers set out to super serve their demograph. There are a lot of church people out there who maintain you’re hellbound if the name of Jeeeesuuuus isn’t on your lips 24-7. Believe me, I deal with a lot of these people. These radio stations are just giving their audience what they want.
If you want to hear a Christian radio station that with blow your mind, let me know, and I’ll tell you how to get my station in streaming audio!
I can instantly pick out an NPR station because it sounds better than other stations. No compression in the signal, I think, SnowDog, maybe you know the technical reasons…
Ah, well, that may be true. But then, most people are idiots.
To me, a human voice on NPR sounds like, or at least closer to, an actual human voice. An announcer on a ‘pop’ channel, to me, sounds distorted and off. Can’t add more to it than that I am afraid, but I think the preachy christian channels may be less likely to be using all that compression, hence when one tunes in you can just tell because the voices sound audibly different.
That is just about the funniest thing I’ve heard (read) in a month. It is also the most accurate description of the Christian rock “sound” I’ve ever heard. You’re right, there’s a certain, special something about 99% of the Christian Rock out there. I have always described it as a “lack of art.” It sounds like that crap music that is “composed” for local commercials. Technically proficient, perhaps, but without soul.
The other funny thing is how divorced from reality most Christian rock fans are. I had a friend in college who went home after freshman year and came back “born-again.” He kept trying to prove the notion that Christian rock was just as good as regular rock. He’d waive me into his room claiming that such-and-such band “sounds like Rush” or “sounds like Yes.” Invariably, of course, it would be some guy churning out MIDI tunes with a drum machine.
Yeah, see, that’s what they all say. It just never pans out.
I read a funny article a while back (by a Christian writer, no less!) about why Christian rock music sucks so bad: basically it’s because it’s propped up by Christian parents who will not let their kids listen to anything but Christian rock. Many of the parents even go with the kids to the concerts!! (how revolting!) The CD’s are bad, the live shows are worse: something like a jr-high-school talent show. Horrible acoustics, lousy equipment, unskilled musicians/performers. It’s very rare to have a Christian band sound as together and polished as the typical top-40 fare.
If your band sucks down at the local biker bar they spit on you and throw beer bottles at your head, but “nice” Christian kids aren’t supposed to be mean and say anything bad. Very few Christian acts ever break onto mainstream radio, and fewer still have stayed there…And so, the sorry cycle continues.
~
