Christians who want to feel a "peace" from God

[JohnClay]

@kunilou

There are good reasons for breaking up, but there isn’t a “proper reason” for ending a relationship. It’s an emotional thing – it either feels right or it doesn’t.

I mean a logical reason based on specific things he’s done, etc. This is about feelings that come from God not feelings directly from the situation. BTW when I was thinking about breaking up with a girlfriend my nurse said that I should look at the pro’s and con’s and see which list is bigger.

And if she feels she can find someone out there more compatible, then that’s the way she feels.

She thinks that as a way of comforting herself. i.e. God is doing this for a reason and it must be that it is because there is an even better guy out there for her. But time is ticking away - she wants to have kids eventually but first she’s got to find a husband… BTW my sisters are only interested in very strong Christian guys that are prepared to live where they are currently living.

[Morgenstern]

@JohnClay

Yes it means it is a “don’t feel quite right” feeling - and it apparently comes from God.

No, you’re probably doing it wrong, try a little lotion on your hands.

[JohnClay]

@Morgenstern

No, you’re probably doing it wrong, try a little lotion on your hands.

BTW apparently the ex-boyfriend gave her a massage every day.

[Thudlow_Boink]

@JohnClay

BTW my sisters are only interested in very strong Christian guys that are prepared to live where they are currently living.

Have you ever asked them what they’d do if God called them to live somewhere else?

[ISiddiqui]

@kunilou

There are good reasons for breaking up, but there isn’t a “proper reason” for ending a relationship. It’s an emotional thing – it either feels right or it doesn’t.

Indeed. And there is nothing wrong about thinking it doesn’t feel right. And even if she believes that that peace comes from God, there is nothing wrong about that either. This may be slightly shocking, but Christians see the world very differently than atheists. They believe that God is actively present. So, where an atheist may indicate that they didn’t feel right about the relationship or that there was something “off”, Christians would attribute those feelings as being from God (as the Doxology goes God is “from Whom all blessings flow”).

So… there appears to be no issue here.

[Green_Bean]

Dude, she’s just not that into him.

[JohnClay]

@Green_Bean

Dude, she’s just not that into him.

Why was she crying a lot then? They had only been more than friends for about 3 weeks. Also my mum said not to ring her that day - she didn’t want me upsetting her more.

[JohnClay]

@Thudlow_Boink

Have you ever asked them what they’d do if God called them to live somewhere else?

Well I think both sisters believe they’ll be in a worldwide ministry in the future so perhaps they think they might move in the future. But for now they want to stay where they live.

[Ambivalid]

@JohnClay

She does think they’re compatible I think she thinks that there might be another guy in the world that is even better than him.

But what if God has a bad feeling about the new, better guy too?

@JohnClay

It was supposed to be a rant

In that case, /rantfail

[JohnClay]

@ISiddiqui

Indeed. And there is nothing wrong about thinking it doesn’t feel right. And even if she believes that that peace comes from God, there is nothing wrong about that either. This may be slightly shocking, but Christians see the world very differently than atheists. They believe that God is actively present. So, where an atheist may indicate that they didn’t feel right about the relationship or that there was something “off”, Christians would attribute those feelings as being from God (as the Doxology goes God is “from Whom all blessings flow”).

So… there appears to be no issue here.

I think she is being too fussy. By something being “off” she seems to be concerned with whether or not things are perfect. BTW like I said my sisters were completely single (not dating, etc) for several years. They told us that God would find them a husband. I said to one of them “what about when you’re 40? Will you still think God will just find you a husband?” Then like I said they ended up trying dating websites.
BTW my mum got really upset too. We all thought that maybe my sister had found her husband.

[JohnClay]

@Ambivalid

But what if God has a bad feeling about the new, better guy too?
:(…

Yeah that’s what I think might happen… I think it is hard for guys to live up to her expectations. (BTW recently my niece’s married church youth leader got in trouble for asking youth members to send him naked pics, etc). I mean it isn’t really natural for guys to be perfect Christians. My sister seemed to be interested in her pastor earlier on but he doesn’t seem to be interested in dating anyone. (also I’ve listened to many recordings of his sermons. In one he says it is “unnatural” for couples to have oral sex)

[JohnClay]

BTW I think it might be partly my fault. On Good Friday my sister asked me what I thought of her new boyfriend. I said that he refused to tell us which Billy Zane B movie he was in and that he refused to play my guitar (me and my wife did) even though he sung and played guitar in my sister’s church. I said that some advice says that it is good not to always do what the woman wants. Maybe she ended up thinking that he might not be a good husband if he didn’t always do what she wants.

[shantih]

@JohnClay

I mean a logical reason based on specific things he’s done, etc. This is about feelings that come from God not feelings directly from the situation. BTW when I was thinking about breaking up with a girlfriend my nurse said that I should look at the pro’s and con’s and see which list is bigger.
She thinks that as a way of comforting herself. i.e. God is doing this for a reason and it must be that it is because there is an even better guy out there for her. But time is ticking away - she wants to have kids eventually but first she’s got to find a husband… BTW my sisters are only interested in very strong Christian guys that are prepared to live where they are currently living.

(bolding mine)

Either person in a relationship can end the relationship at any time simply by deciding that they no longer wish to be in that relationship. It can be for a good reason, a bad reason, or no reason at all, and it is not a committee decision that needs to be run past others for their approval. Perhaps your sister just had a gut feeling that this was not the guy she saw being with long-term, and so wanted to end it early. That’s completely her call.

[Boyo_Jim]

There’s a WHOLE FAMILY of the OP?

[Guinastasia]

@JohnClay

BTW I think it might be partly my fault. On Good Friday my sister asked me what I thought of her new boyfriend. I said that he refused to tell us which Billy Zane B movie he was in and that he refused to play my guitar (me and my wife did) even though he sung and played guitar in my sister’s church. I said that some advice says that it is good not to always do what the woman wants. Maybe she ended up thinking that he might not be a good husband if he didn’t always do what she wants.

Wait, what? This makes absolutely no sense.

[Slow_Moving_Vehicle]

@Guinastasia

Wait, what? This makes absolutely no sense.

Forget it, he’s rolling.

[dropzone]

@JohnClay

He said that he was an extra in a B movie that had Billy Zane in it but refused to say which one since he was ashamed on the movie.

If you meant “ashamed of” rather than “ashamed on,” you’ve summarized Billy Zane’s career.

[JohnClay]

@dropzone

If you meant “ashamed of” rather than “ashamed on,” you’ve summarized Billy Zane’s career.

Sorry sometimes my proof-reading isn’t perfect.

[watchwolf49]

@shantih

Either person in a relationship can end the relationship at any time simply by deciding that they no longer wish to be in that relationship. It can be for a good reason, a bad reason, or no reason at all, and it is not a committee decision that needs to be run past others for their approval. Perhaps your sister just had a gut feeling that this was not the guy she saw being with long-term, and so wanted to end it early. That’s completely her call.

If these are the types of Christians who don’t allow divorce … then … sister should be absolutely sure … I think everyone has a perfect match out there, just some people are impatient … and if you’re only allowed one marriage, best to take one’s sweet time.

I agree with JohnClay’s mum … it’s women’s business, best a man steer clear …

[ISiddiqui]

@JohnClay

I think she is being too fussy.

Why exactly is it your right to decide if your sister is being too fussy as to the person she wants to date?

We all thought that maybe my sister had found her husband.

Didn’t you just say she had been dating him for only 3 months so were confused as to why she was so upset about it? Now you are saying that you thought that maybe she found her husband?