Anything played over Kohl’s sound system. The stores have their own generic songs and recorded singers who cannot enunciate. If you listen to any of the lyrics, you will discover that they are all about buying gifts for Crissmuss. Ack!
Not that I’m a Scrooge or anything but I dislike most Christmas carols. They’re just so damn cornball. I have to laugh though when I hear my wife, who is Filipino, singing songs about snowflakes and sleigh rides.
I must say the two absolute worst songs are:
1. **Twelve Days of Christmas**- So damn annoying. It's enough to make you want to beat your wife and kick your dog.
2. **Silent Night** - Just watch people when they sing this song. They all get this righteous attitude like "Look at me. Ain't I so fucking holy".
The only Christmas songs worth a damn are the ones with real soul. Like Charles Brown’s Merry Christmas Baby, and The Drifters’ White Christmas.
Christmas Shoes is terrible, that’s the only one I think I actively loathe, though there may be some others I mildly dislike which aren’t coming to mind at the moment. Most I like.
When I saw this thread title, I immediately thought of *Christmas Shoes. *And Oswalt described it perfectly. Personally, I suspect that, instead of buying the shoes, the kid took the money and ran out to buy drugs.
And All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth . . . sung by an ***ADULT??? ***What, someone just beat the crap out of you, and you want Santa to bring you some bridgework?
And then there’s *Hard Candy Christmas *from “Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.” One of the most depressing songs, Christmas or otherwise.
I’ve said it here before, and I’ll say it again. This song is especially detestable because it’s not a Christmas song, for pity’s sake! So please stop playing it during the holiday season!
I heard Bony M, Mary’s Boy Child, years ago trapped in a traffic jam outside the mall and it was one of the most beautiful songs I ever heard. I never forgot it and thanks to the internet also many years later I found out who sang it. Bought it and every year I could just weep with joy, I love it so much. So there. (their disco songs suck, though).
You know…I don’t think I’ve ever heard Christmas Shoes, not knowingly.
Same here. And from all the hatred it gets on this board every year I hope to remain as lucky.
Since Christmas Shoes was already hit, I have to mention, “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” It’s depressing. People keep forgetting about the line, “If only in my dreams.”
“The Little Drummer Boy” is especially hated by anyone who has sung Bass in a chorus. The Bass part usually consists of 3 minutes of “BUM-pa-pa BUM-pa-pa BUM-pa-pa . . . .”
And, “Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow.” it makes me think of my parents, both of whom died young.
Not a Christmas song, but I could go without hearing any version of Adam Sandler’s Chanukah song. It’s just not funny anymore.
Burl Ives might be an OK singer decades ago, but i don’t look forward to tv commercials and the clip of Have a Holly Jolly Christmas.
I could deal with the god damned hippopotamus song if I never had to hear those two drunks out out tune, each apparently singing their own version of the song that has nothing to with the other and what sounds like is in two different keys…Baby It’s Cold Outside. That song can go take a flying leap.
I have no idea which version is the ‘normal’ one that gets all the air play during this season, but, to be honest, I don’t really care for any version.
From my office at work, I can usually only hear specific part of songs due to the acoustics of the workplace. That typically means that if a song has a repeating part, that’s what I’ll hear. If that repeating part is annoying, it’ll quickly get on my nerves, especially if it’s a top forty song that’s on all the time.
For example, from my office, I hear
“You mean everything tonight”
The whistling part from some Brittney song.
The Jamaican part from an old No Doubt song.
“MooOOoo” in “Move like Jagger”
12 Days of Christmas doesn’t really bother me. We’re so busy, I can’t really hear the radio during Christmas season. What really pisses me off is hearing “FIVE GOLDEN RINGS” being belted out by Miss Piggy every few seconds how ever many times she says it…then hearing it again when they play the song 20 minutes later. I think that song would be truly better if she only belted it out like that the last time it comes up. Otherwise it loses it’s novelty so quickly and then it’s just annoying.
I can only assume that my failure to mention Wonderful Christnastime in the OP is because I blocked it from my memory.
My main issue with Ill Be Home For Christmas is this one lyric…
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the lumph blah bleeems
I have no idea what the lyric is supposed to be and I’ve NEVER head anyone sing it in a manner so I can understand it. My theory is nobodyy ELSE knows what the line is either and is simply mumbling through it.
Especially considering that the wrapped packages are in brown paper.
(I’ll Have A Drab Christmas With You).
Every time I hear the Harry Simeone Choir singing, I call it The Little Finger Cymbals Boy…
And in the tooting-my-own-horn file, I wrote an Amazon review! Fair warning: in contrast to the tenor of this thread, it is NOT 100% negative.
I’ve heard there’s a thing called Google that can find out lyrics.
Ugh. 38 posts and nobody’s mentioned “Jingle Bell Rock”?
Let me remedy that. Ugh.
It’s like the fruitcake of Christmas music. It’s a horrible, horrible song, but it doesn’t feel like Christmastime until I’ve frantically changed the station away from that song at least once.
Jokey Christmas songs. Especially parodies of the 12 days of Christmas. The parodists are not as clever as they think they are and the songs never, ever end.
Feliz Navidad, the lyricist crapped out 15 seconds in and the song continues for another 25 minutes. It’s horrible.
Songs that have been poorly repurposed for Christmas because someone isn’t really paying close attention to the lyrics. “Hard Candy Christmas,” “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” and “My Favorite Things” are perfectly lovely songs in context. They aren’t supposed to be Christmas songs.