I can see this being a useful bellwether in cases where offense is taken at potentially innocuous stuff - to consider whether the reader is applying a tone that doesn’t exist. But as a universal rule, it would be the literal definition of victim blaming.
I’ll go with the educated professional’s opinion on this. Thanks.
Maybe you could favor us with a cite?
Do you think your mother wouldn’t have noticed if she went there with the question in her head, “IS this a restaurant that attracts customers more with the bodies of the servers than with the food?” Because that seems like a much more stringent test than just, “would she notice if she went there to eat?”
Despite the extreme rhetoric in this thread, i don’t think this is a huge deal, fwiw.
That’s a valid point I had not considered. I suppose so.
And some of us were ready to walk away from the board if Starving Artist didn’t get banned.
This is hilarious but whether you can see why I don’t know.
When @Grrr first said “it’s the reader not the writer that sets the tone” I was pretty dubious. But your real live apparently oblivious demonstration of why he might just be right is really pretty funny.
I see where you’re coming from - and saw it when I made that post - but I don’t consider Grrr’s language in the linked thread to be at all innocuous.
Writers set a tone. Readers interpret it. I’ve never heard anything to the contrary. It’s certainly possible for readers to make incorrect or unsubstantiated interpretations! But I don’t think that happened here.
I did do a bit of searching on the topic, but there are too many sites about appropriate language in the workplace to filter anything as specific as that. In any event, I find the concept interesting and will probably start an alternate thread to discuss it without a hijack.
For what it is worth I, a white, middle aged man, think it was not a ridiculous mod note. As per usual this should settle the matter.
Chronos was right , this called for a note. Not a warning, of course.
And SDMBers- it is a freaken NOTE. It is not big deal.
I think it’s a good demonstration of why bright line rules don’t work as well. In the context of the thread the language was disruptive. In another thread, even in the same category, it might not have been.
Like, take two MPSIMS threads. One is talking about the passing of a community member. The other is talking about silly-looking cat pictures. A crude joke would be horrific in the former thread but might be welcomed in the latter thread. A mod note chastising someone about the crude joke when people are mourning the loss of an online friend would be warranted but that doesn’t mean it should also be moderated in the other one.
And again, it’s just a note. I’ve gotten notes before. I try to avoid them but when I get one, I say sorry and move on.
Good point. The thread turned into a trainwreck in which, ummm, no one commented on the post. Oh, except one. The mod.
We don’t even fact around here any more, do we?
My concern is not that Grrr was sanctioned with a mod note. I’m sure he’ll survive. My concern is that mod notes effectively set the rules.
Someone please let me know when we get down to the point where I can’t use the term “legs” and must say “limbs”. I’m too crass to get the memo.
I could maybe defend “this is unnecessarily rowdy for FQ, let’s dial it back a notch.” Maybe, if I had to.
However I absolutely despise the finger-wagging, pearl-clutching “I don’t like your tone, mister, do better in the future.” This isn’t the first note or mod we’ve seen this from lately, either. We have a few folks who seem to enjoy tone-scolding a bit too much.
Keep saying “pearl-clutching” and they are sure to see your side of things.
Keep policing tone and someone’s sure to see your side of things.
If you do be please tag me. Sounds like an interesting topic.
The mods already do, which seems like a win to me, but you keep doing you.
@TubaDiva’s mantra practically since Day 1:
it IS a win and they deserve our thanks for all the time they put in. it’s not like they get paid for it!