I saw a sign in front of a small church in a nearby town that said “Don’t wait for six strong men to bring you to church.”
It took me a block and a half before I figured it out.
Now THAT’S a church I can get into! Six, big strong men are going to escort me there!
Where do I sign up!?!
The line forms to the left. Mr. Jones will be passing out Kool-Aid for you to enjoy while you wait.
One church near here had this one:
**God created everything for his purpose…even mosquitoes **
I so desperately wanted to add: *God hates us * or If you use Off your going down.
Mine’s not funny. :eek:
But a friend of mine and I were driving in the middle of nowhere down a dark road (I still don’t know where that was!) and we were getting pretty lost… and we came upon a church with a marquee sign, the only thing in the vicinity with a light on it.
What did the sign say?
SOMEDAY YOU WILL WAKE UP DEAD!
Not even kidding. With the exclamation point and everything! It was so creepy!! As we drove past, I looked at the other side, and it said:
WHERE ARE YOU GOING
No punctuation, just like that. So eerie.
When we went to turn around in another church parking lot on the same road, there was a bright, colourful, HUGE hand-painted sign that said:
“Hooray! The tomb is empty! Come join us, we are alive!”
Totally evil.
rinni, yours is funny if you have a twisted enough sense of humor!
Nearby church marquee:
“For all you do, his blood’s for you”
A church in town has on their marquee:
“Holy Spirit Come”
I’d love to add “, Batman!” to the end of that.
One that used to be on a church marquee a mile or so from my home: “WAL-MART ISNT THE ONLY SAVING PLACE.”
Hmm, no, but when at least when I give 10% of my earnings to Wal-Mart, I get tangible goods in return, rather than boring sermons.
Speaking of 10% of earnings, the same church sign once had this to say:
“HONK IF YOU TITHE!”
I can’t come up with a witty response for this one, but you can rearrange the letters to say “HONK YOU THIEF!” or “I HONK YOU TIT!”
On preview:
teleute12: instead of adding “Batman” to the end, how about adding “Hot, Sticky” to the beginning.
This one’s real, but God help me(oops) I can’t remember if it was
Jesus loves all the little asses
or Jesus loves all the young asses.
My mind corrupted it, and to this day I can’t remember which one was the real one. Not really sure what they were going for there.
-Lil
My church shares its parking garage, and there are a few spots reserved for the church. The signs, put up by the company that runs the garage, say “Reserved for First Covenant Church - Violators will be towed.” A couple of years ago, someone crossed out “towed” and wrote in “sent to hell.”
I thought that was pretty funny. They’ve replaced the sign, but I’m sorely tempted to re-do it. 
I went to my in-laws’ church once. This sign doesn’t even need me to mock.
Behold, I come quickly
Poor Jesus…
“Poor Jesus”?
You’ll find your quote at the end of the 22nd chapter of Revelation. If you want to see the verb “come” in the sexual sense, which is what I believe you mean, Pepperlandgirl, consult an issue of Sex to Sexty. 
If you go to the link and click on “parkland secondary” thats my school!! I was sure surprised to see it!! Its in Sidney, BC. and i graduated there in '89.