Once again I’ve seen a church sign that was so irritating I wanted to turn into the parking lot, find the idiot who put it up and do bodily harm. Here it is:
How does insulting me want to make me come to your church?
Just down the road is a church that tries to be clever and they have:
It’s been almost 2000 years, guys. He ain’t coming back.
Yeah for Church signs. All their stupidity condensed into a pithy sentance.
My favorite one lately has been:
And my response to it is:
If God had a refrigerator your body would be in it.
There is a new church nearby that meets in an old Boot Factory. I don’t know if it’s on their sign, but their pamphlets say, “Come to be healed and re-souled.”
my favorite from last week:
A christian heart is good, but a christian liver is better.
You can make your own here:
http://www.aboyandhiscomputer.com/churchsigngenerator/index.php
From one here in Reno:
Still a favourite - “Your Most Powerful Position is on Your Knees”
A local favorite, on some independent Bible-style church:
Whoa, slow down there, God! It’s not even our first date and you’re talking about marriage.
I am not making this one up:
Come hang out with the guy who hung for you.
So god is one of those scary types that you see once and all of a sudden they start naming your future children?
Man, religious people are WEIRD!
Two similar ones I’ve seen on different churchs in town, just within the past two weeks:
“It’s hard not to be humble when your (sic) on your knees”
“You can’t stumble if you’re already on your knees”
<insert sodomy joke of choice here>
Actually the first quote was on the sign of a tire store next to a church. As I think I mentioned in a previous thread on this subject, the same tire store once offered up the eyeroll-worthy “Atheists have no invisible means of support.”
A surprising (or, perhaps, not so surprising) number of these signs have spelling or grammatical errors. One of them (paraphrased, but the errors are the same) was:
“Never to bad to come to church. Never to good to stay home”
Somebody should add “Never too good to take third grade English” to that sign.
Another one that I know I mentioned before, but never fails to crack me up anyway: “Wal-Mart isn’t the only saving place.” That same church also once featured a sign that said “Honk if you tithe.” I never heard anyone honk.
I know there are dozens of great ones that I’ve forgotten. I should start writing them down; they’re everywhere around here. And this city is mostly Catholic. I feel sorry for our poor OP stuck up there in Texarkana. A lot of folks in Northern Louisiana and the surrounding areas seem to be quite rabid about their religion.
On a recent drive to Dallas, I saw a mall along I-20 in NE Texas that featured - I kid you not - “The Church in the Mall.” That was really the name of the place. The whole thing just sort of boggles the mind. On an unrelated note, I actually did end up in Texarkana on the way back, due to it being nearly impossible to figure out how to get back on I-20 from Dallas. Got on I-30 instead and went 130 miles out of my way. It wasn’t one of my prouder moments. :smack:
Wow HDS, that’s sort of a universal thing, ain’t it 
The one I like, in keeping with my profession, is…
** Stop, Drop and Roll won’t work in Hell **
for a little bit of Ho-Ho-Holiday fun, there’s the old…
** Santa never died for anyone **
He was hung? Man, if only I were gay, I could appreciate that.
A good one I saw recently:
Don’t ever give up hope. Remember, Moses was a basket case.
My favorite:
The Easter Bunny did not rise from the grave
I can imagine that that sign tramatised a few children.
I saw one up here that said “Give Me Some Of That Old Time Religion” on it, and someone had drawn a nice neat pentagram next to it.
the one i hate is the one that says something like,
“i’d love to have you in my house for coffee” then it’s signed “God” like its a quote or something! totally annoys me! the church with these signs is right on my way to work so i see it twice a day and its like an eye magnet, i read it every time.
“C - H - _ - _ - C - H”
“What’s Missing?”
“U - R!”