Here we are god

The BBQ Pit
1

Here in the Midwest protestant churches have taken to putting little sayings on a sign by the road. I find the concept annoying. It’s not like I’m going to see “Brush up on your bible; it prevents TRUTH decay“ and suddenly have a spiritual revelation, renounce my life of sin and spend the rest of my days in a heavenly rapture. It’s really just spiritual masturbation designed to make the believers feel they are special and clever.

But today I saw a sign that made me want to attend a church. It said:

HERE WE ARE GOD

Which I read as “Here, WE are God”. Yes, I thought as my fist clenched and my eyes narrowed, I will join this church! I will be a God! The world will crouch at my feet and weep at my wrath!

Then it occurred to me that they meant “Here we are, God”, and that it was just more of the same.

What a shame.

2

Did it say “Entertain us” underneath?

3

At least we can take amusement in the implication that their supposedly omniscient magic sky pixie doesn’t know where they are. Or imagining them being issued a smitation because their deity was also thrown by the lack of a comma.

[SMITE]
“What have we done to draw Your wrath upon us O Lord?!”
“YOU DECLARED YOURSELVES GODS ON THAT SIGN, THAT’S WHAT.”
“But we didn’t! We only meant to show you that we’re here!”
[SMITE]
“omgwtfbbq…”
“THAT ONE WAS FOR THINKING I’M TOO STUPID TO USE GOOGLE MAPS.”

4

Yeah, God would never think to find Christians in a church, of all places.

5

Maybe he’s looking for them in closets.

6

I’m not saying God is aliens. But, God is aliens. We need to tell them where to land and who to take with them when they leave.

Kidding aside, brim fire church signs annoy me, but ones with generic uplifting sound bites or clever puns amuse me. And I really loved the church sign dueling over pets in heaven.

7

What was this about? Tell!

8

I may regret this, but:

http://www.says-it.com/churchsigns/

Do your worst!

9

Where’s the sharpie when you need it? A comma after the first word would be appropriate sabotage.

10

Check out some of the real ones. I liked “Women’s Bible Stud”. There’s also ones that are pro-sports rather religious. (I could see that happening around here)

11

Ooooo, I made me a Westboro Baptist Church sign!

“THE FAMILY THAT HATES TOGETHER, MATES TOGETHER!”

Since I live in Topeka, where the rock the WBC is located under is, this felt special.

12

Snopes says its a hoax but it still makes me crack up

“FREE DOG SOULS WITH CONVERSION” :smiley:

13

That was my first thought.

14

… just in case you were omniscient about everything except where WE happen to be right at this moment.

15

Lets eat grandpa.

16

I went into a building labeled “Assembly of God” once, but there were no manufacturing processes going on at all. Kind of disappointing.

17

Here we are god
Godisnowhere.

18

It’s like most DIY things, the instructions are vague and open to interpretation, leaving you to figure it out on your own.

19

Funny, i immediately read it as a challenge, like, “Here we are, God! Where are you at? You better step to, God!”

20

:)OK, That made me laugh more than the church signs.