Disturbing Church Marque Message

I saw this on the sign in front of a local church yesterday. I find it disturbing…

or erotic, I’m not sure:

Your purpose is the pleasure of God.

Hope God isn’t into bukkake.

[Eric Cartman] I get down on my knees to please you Jesus! [/Eric Cartman]

I got Salvation all over my face! :smiley:

I scream, you scream, we all blaspheme for Ice Cream!

Hence the lesser-known 11th commandment:

Thou shalt not scrape the Lord thine God with thine teeth.

Good thing I have been working on improving my skills for the last 12 years.


Nah, he’s definitely a necrophiliac, since you have to die before he’ll even talk to you.

There are a few minor exceptions, such as prophets, who only smell like they’re dead.

Our Scripture verses for today:

New Testament: 1 Corinthians 16:22 (“Come, O Lord!”)

Old Testament: Psalms 34:8 (“Taste and see that the LORD is good”)

Please open your hymnals to today’s hymn: “Adeste Fideles.”

I saw a good one a while ago.

“Christ’s soldiers fight best on their knees”

Too many perverted connotations for that one.

Darn you to heck, MEB!!

I’m never again gonna be able to read that verse with a straight face, as long as I live!

Come we that love the Lord and let our joys be known.

Oh Lamb of God I Come.

This is my body. Whenever you eat it do this in rememberance of me.

[sub]I just bought a one way ticket to hell for sure[/sib]

Yea heathen surely I shalt smite thee and thy coding. :smack:

God is a top?

Nice one.

I saw a church marquee a while back that said “This week’s sermon: WHO NEEDS LOVE?”

Damn right, I said to myself.

I drove by again this evening and it seems I’d remembered the phrasing a little wrong, although the gist is the same.

You were planned for God’s pleasure

It gets the same reaction from me.

But of course, what else COULD He be?

You guys seen this?

I’ve seen some creepy church signs, though not creepy in the same way. Try, after being lost in the dark woods for a half-hour, seeing a bright church sign that says


(All the spaces were like that. I clearly remember that it said SOME DAY and not SOMEDAY.)

On the other side, as I looked back in disbelief after passing the church (we’re still lost!), the sign says:


As we turn around in another church parking lot, our headlights catch a hand-painted large sign that says:
“Hooray! The tomb is empty! Come join us, we are alive!”

And a couple of pictures, from a few months afterward - the same church:

Oh, right, like you were able to read that verse with a straight face before now.

The 27th Evil reported yesterday that the auto lube place in town had that verse on its marquee yesterday. The auto lube place is next to a sandwich shop and a McDonald’s.


For a moment I thought you were talking about the church in my neighborhood.
Normally it says cute and mildly funny stuff like “Free trip to heaven. Details inside”
This week, the marquee proudly reads “If evolution really worked, why don’t mothers have more than two hands?”