Disturbing Church Marque Message

This is crazy. Yesterday I was in Ventura, CA and I saw a church with the exact same phrase on its sign. I wonder if there is some sort of newsletter with suggested phrases from which to choose.


It wouldn’t surprise me if there were.

The reliably goofy church down the road currently sports I serve a risen Savior. And every time I drive past it, I think “Yeah, well, I only give my guests unleavened Jesus.”

Unleavened Jesus would be a great band name.


Yay for church signs.

Bringing the comedy to us as we are trapped in our cars.

Proving to us that absurdity and pervisity are everywhere.

Gas Station Hijinks . Note: Other pics in the link may not be safe for work. (boobies, butts and elephant poo alert)

Exhibit A The Irony Not pertaining to anything

The above links have pictures that are Not Safe For Work!

Another one

To ruin the blasphemy-fest with an actual fact G, “You were planned for God’s pleasure” is a quote from THE PURPOSE-DRIVEN LIFE

The church near me didn’t have a disturbing marquee, but it had a lame one:

Easter is here!

and then, under that, I kid you not:

Yay God!

"YAY GOD" ??? Ran out of ideas, eh? :rolleyes:

Those are some great links…

I may have posted this a while back, but a church near where we used to live had a sign out front that said:

Come hang out with the guy that hung for you!

“God answers knee-mail.”

Don’t even want to know what kind of porn spam that generates…

'Twould appear so. (8th one down on the left.)

Oh God!

Paging Gay Dopers

There’s a church (in an industrial building near the Oshawa train station) named “World Harvest Church”.

I find this name vaguely creepy; it makes me think of some vast judgemental intellect coolly plucking screaming people from the surface of the earth and stuffing them into its collection basket, like the Martians did in War of the Worlds

Hey, Sunspace, I’ve seen that place (I live in Oshawa, used to work in Whitby).

Ever seen the church a little ways from the Oshawa Center? Got a blue bordered marquee out front. Their marquee is a good one for this sort of thing.

The one I remember most is ‘You can’t stumble when you’re on your knees’.

Hi, Tengu! Yes, I grew up in Whitby and lived in Oshawa for a time. My first summer job was at GM. Which side of the OC is that church on?

‘You can’t stumble when you’re on your knees’? Isn’t that another way of saying, ‘There’s nowhere to go but up!’?

It’s on King just towards Whitby (uhm, so, West, then.) It’s just after King goes 2-way. Or just before if you’re driving East.

Heh. I never even thought of that interpretation. The two unfortunate interpretations that came to mind immediately (the first even before parsing that they actually meant ‘You can’t go wrong with God!’ and the other as an immediate response to that):

  1. BJs. Always with the divine BJs.
  2. ‘Well, no, but you can’t move forward at any sort of reasonable pace, either. And, dammit, that hurts.’

Oh, I meant to include this in my earlier post - the first time I saw World Harvest Church, I had much the same reaction - although my mental image included a scythe and a cackling minister.

So many things to be disturbed about today, and church marquees bother you? The intolerance for Christians on this board disturbs me…