The right to self abuse was previously granted to 82 year old single or widowed church men. Bible experts recently discovered that scripture shows the tedious personal excercise known as masturbation, prevents ailments due to lack of blood flow in single or widowed males over the age of 65. Done properly, without lust, using the Bible as a guide, it could save your life! http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
not to hijack this thread… but did you catch the other articles???
all I have to say is WTF???
“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
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Well, fuck me running! I know about those guys! www.toshistation.com had a link to their Jar Jar article when Phantom Menance first came out.
It’s nice to see the free market economy in action:wouldn’t want The Weekly World News to get lazy.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
LOL
Where DO you guys find these things. I love the tatoo church lady. And I am so glad that it’s okay to do a he lamb.
What a hilarious parody.
trisha
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, “Stop! don’t do it!”
“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.
I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!”
He said, “Like what?”
I said, “Well… are you religious or atheist?”
He said, “Religious.”
I said, "Me too!
Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
He said, “Christian.”
I said, "Me too!
Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
He said, “Protestant.”
I said, "Me too!
Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
He said, “Baptist!”
I said, "Wow! Me too!
Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
He said, “Baptist Church of God!”
I said, "Me too!
Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church
of God?"
He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God!”
I said, "Me too!
Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed
Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!”
I said, “Die, heretic scum”, and pushed him off.
Satire is one thing but their characterization of a child with Down syndrome is NOT acceptable:
"Earlier this week, church members learned that the Miracle Baby, was not really a miracle after all but rather an abomination of human nature. Closer observation of the child revealed that it was infected with
a disgusting disease known as, ‘Downs Syndrome.’ Church Doctor, Jonathan Edwards remarked, “I could have sworn the little beast was Chinese by its slanted eyes and sloping head. I began to suspect that there was something more to it when the child did nothing but smile and eat. It expressed no emotion. . .”
If they want to make fun of Baptists, fine and dandy, but to use a hateful and degrading description of a child with Down Syndrome simply to express their hatred of Baptists is despicable.
You’re right. That wasn’t funny. It should have been more like this:
Konrad,
You sir, are a complete and utter asshole. I’d take this to the pit, but I don’t want to waste space on someone as excrement filled as you.
Well you didn’t have to read it. I can put up with most anything, but for instance the Onion has a story at least one out of three issues that I regret opening. My own fault. www.theonion.com
You mean like this one?
I’ve always liked landover baptist… ok, the downs thing is lame, but overall their site is hilarious.
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O p a l C a t
www.opalcat.com
You should read my posting on the “Evolved Animals” thread at GQ, where I write a report on the EgyptAir crash as if it were written by a Creationist.
Those who do not learn from the past are condemned to relive it. Georges Santayana
Drain Bead:exactly