Title accredited to MEBuckner
Also, before I start, I am not a Christian
In This thread, massive_attack posted an OP of such utter mindnumbing, gut wrenching, makes-you-wanna-stick-your-finger-behind-your-eye-and-swirl-your-brain-around stupidity that I felt it needed addressing here. Okeydokey…
Originally Posted by massive_attack
** " I would just like to start the ball rolling on a new topic"**
Oh, thank you for deigning to broaden our horizons. I don’t think my feeble mind can cope with your pure wisdom and insight. Idiot. A new topic? It is not a new topic. Loose lipped, gibbering, moronic fingerbangers like you pop up at least twice a week. They just tend to slide away like piss off a window never to post again. Please follow their example.
** “I personally HATE christianity with a passion”**
I personally HATE you with a passion you judgemental little ball of discarded smegma. No, that’s not strictly true. I don’t hate you. I hate the ignorance which saturates every word you print but I don’t really hate you per se. Hopefully my opinion of you won’t get any worse because it sure as hell ain’t getting any better.
** “Wether it be the stupid signs out the front of the church saying a stupid message or the baptist ringing on your doorbell.”**
So lemme get this straight. You loathe and despise all of Christianity because a couple of baptists have rung on your doorbell? Was it the baptists who dropped you on your head when you were a baby and turned you into the misanthropic little anal swab you are today? No. And you take exception signs placed outside their churches? Well whoopee shit! That is obscene. You should really make 'em pay for that! String 'em up from the nearest drawbridge, naah, death is too good for them, how about fingernail torture? Afterall, they were the bastards who had the sheer temerity to post a “stupid” sign (which couldn’t have been more than a Jesus saves type thing anyway) outside their own church so they deserve whatever they get. Actually, on second thought, scrap fingernail torture, it’s over too soon. Tell you what, why not give them a samurai sword and shove 'em in a room with you and see how long it takes them to commit seppuku?
Also, which “baptist” is giving you the hassle? Is it just one? I’m not usually one for pointing out typing errors, but I thought it was pertinent in this case. Still, seeing how “stupid” Christians are I doubt they’d notice anyway
** “I would just like to point out my logical arguments”**
Ok, go on then…well? I’m waiting…I 'm looking and I’m looking but I can’t see any. I can see plenty of inane, vacuous rantings obvoiusly posted by someone who wouldn’t have a clue if it buttfucked them with a beehive but for the life of me I can’t see anything approaching logical discourse. Please, tell me where I’m going wrong.
** “Christians don’t follow there own rules [ie. 70% of murders are commited by christians]”**
Believe it or not, this is actually true. My own mother is a Christian and she’s a one woman crime wave. Actually that’s not right, she works tirelessly and selfishly for CAFOD and partakes in as many fundraisers as you’ve had hot dinners (note: That hot dinners remark was addressed to the general population, not you massive_attack because my mother has organised far more than 3 fund raisers).
** “Christians are Biass against all other religions”**
And you would know this how? You wouldn’t even open the fucking door to one you cum encrusted genital chancre. Who are you to make such a cras generalisation? Ah yes, that’s right, nobody.
** "Christians start a lot of wars over a stupid piece of dirt 1000 miles from where they are at the moment "**
And where are all the dreaded Christian legions at the moment? Pittsburg? New Jersey? Papua New Guinea? Where? Well wherever it is it’s obvoiusly exactly 1000 miles away from wherever they’re starting a war, wherever that is. Back this up or fuck off, better yet, just fuck off.
<intermission - By now it should be clear that massive_attack has about as much tact and sensitivity as Pol Pot shitting razor wire. He should have given up then, instead he comes back with…>
** “Hello you goddamned chistrians”**
Good to see you too, the old place just wasn’t the same without you :rolleyes:
** “I was expecting to get thrashed by the mob”**
You were thrashed by the mob you ignorant, sneering little fuckstick. Now I know that the ape creatures of the Indas have probably got a better grasp of the English language than you but even so, I would have thought that it would have registered that hardly anyone is on your side.
** “Oh… Look… More than 20 posts… It’s a great debate!”**
Oh… Look… a cunt.
** “Oh… Look… Posted in less than a week… It’s less than 24 hours later”**
Okay, kindly allow me a moment to reread your words of wisdom to see what the fuck you’re talking about.
** “DING DONG… Is that the baptists?”**
Is it? Who knows? I was kinda hoping it’d be Jeffrey Dahmer or a team of yemen rebels on the lookout for someone to kidnap but you can’t get everything you want from life can you?
** “Well your pretty stupid aren’t you!”**
You haven’t earned the right to call anyone stupid you retarded little whoreson. You haven’t got a fucking brain in your head, you’ve got wheel and a slowly dying hamster. Tell you what, next time you feel one of those tiny withered synapses burn itself out in one last spark of glory, ignore it, just let it die. You may not know it now but it’s for the best.
** “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA”**
Whoops, looks like final disintegration has begun already. Call the vivisectionists!!
** “I know I’ll get canned again”**
No shit, you’re obviously the brains of your family. Next time your little clan gets together for thanksgiving, don’t forget to show leatherface your alphabet trick.
** “but to see you desperately trying to defend chistianity, It’s priceless,”**
Which bears absolutely no relation to my situation of course, as I collapse into a fit of giggles at your desperate attempts to form a coherant sentence.
** “Also I was showing the difference between christianity and others when I posted about land claiming.” **
You were demonstrating your uncanny ability to lower the national IQ level by about 30 points. Beyond that you were doing nothing other than boring us with your own special brand of inane, hateful horseshit and cracking off 'til your knuckles bled
(sits down, catches breath)
Listen, you snide, sneering, wretched, worthless, gormless, gut less, tactless, brainless, dickless son of a Shanghai chick boy. Your baseless generalisations and pitiable insults are insulting and offensive to everyone with even the slightest shred of respect for his fellow man. Retract what you’ve posted or back it up or better yet, just go away. As well as verging on trolldom with your very first post, your fallacies of logic are just as offensive to anyone who can think critically (which is the vast majority of people, basically everyone except you) You do nobody any service by being here. Quite while you’re only a mile behind.
Moron.