I pit the Bible and the Christian God

The BBQ Pit
#1

Why Christianity is bullshit:

-It says it was good to follow Hitler. (Follow all the rulers and laws of the land)
-It judges you as immoral for not helping the same needy person that their bullshit God passed by as well, with more means to do the exact same act you chose not to
-It says it’s right to burn people for all eternity because they are homosexuals or because they told one lie, or stole one candy-bar.
-It says that if you pick up sticks on a day when God wants you not to work, you need to be put to death.
-The Bible says to not keep a record of wrongs of others because that is not acting in love. It also says that God is love. Well doesn’t God (love) not only keep a record of wrongs, but also burns people for them?
-It would have been IMMORAL according to the Bible for Abraham to NOT try to kill his son just because he was told to.
-Which is it, the earth can never be removed, or that it will pass away and a new earth will come?
-The word of God stands forever? Oh, so you mean every word? So like, how you say that the people who are going to be thrown into hell will be forgotten (satan), we’ll read about him in your bestselling book? Or no, you just meant your commandments… so like all of the old testament laws were supposed to stand forever, but then Jesus came and changed them?
-The God of the Bible is a quick to anger, vengeful, needy, jealous, hateful, self-righteous, critical, tyrannical, overbearing, and destructive God.
-God CREATED you to sin, and then blames YOU when you do.
-The God of the Bible should learn what it is to invade someone’s privacy

#2

The Three Stooges, however, ROCK!

#3

You know who else sucked? Skeletor.

#4

I wrote this thread in anger so I want to come back to this thread to say that things are not always what they appear in matters of religion. For example, the Bible might seem to say that there was a prophet who “hated” someone, but if you look at the contex it was more akin to “preferred less.” So while what I wrote may seem black and white, it isn’t necessarily the full picture.

#5

Your ideas intrigue me, and I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.

#6

History is written by the victors…

#7

Many of those petty, tyrannical evils of the Bible are from the Old Testament though, the New one is… still fucked up, but markedly less so. And some of it is just Paul being a dillhole.

Pterry Pratchett once said the New Testament is what happened when God got religion, but I think it’s much more straightforward than that : the New Testament is what happened once God got laid.

#8

Not to worry. God forgives you.

#9

With what?

#10

Or by the office manager. :slight_smile:

I have the PowerPoint of Grayskull!

#11

Oh yeah? What about Joe Besser and Curly Joe?

#12

Or by the Vicars…

#13

Who?

#14

Oh, so that’s what this is all about. You just want to masturbate in privacy.

#15

Heretic! Heretic! Burn him!

#16

If “family values” really matter, this Jesus freak has the shittiest father anyone can imagine. Hell, the big guy never even bothered to teach his own kid to read! The bible should be read in whole by everyone to understand exactly how to NOT act and exactly how to NOT behave.

#17

I’ll give you such a pinch.

#18

He certainly sucked in his cheeks.

#19

I like the Christan god because he’s needy, he requires things. It makes him/her/it/god really relateable.

#20

It’s about time someone on this board full of radical Christian witnesses had the courage to come out and decry religion. How brave and original of you (but you may want to check with Trihs - you’re stealing his shtick).