Ever seen a sign/billboard/advertisement that was so annoying/stupid/factually incorrect that you had a perfect retort, but nowhere to say it? Have you had daydreams of sneaking out at night and spray-painting your response on the sign? Or rearranging the letters on a church sign to something amusingly blasphemous? Well, then, this is the thread for you.
I’ll give you an example to start. Yesterday I passed a tire place with an ever-changing, usually Jesus-related sign, which, in the past, has featured such gems as “Atheists have no invisible means of support.” Yesterday it said “With God on your side, your never outnumbered.” My response? “Maybe not, but you might be outspelled.”
Okay, that wasn’t a very good one, but it was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw the sign. I’m sure some of you guys can do better. Let’s hear it!
There used to be a series of Biblethumper billboards here in Orlando that said things like “We need to talk - God” and such… I could never help commenting to whoever was in the car that it was about time He bought me a cellphone then…
A clerk was pissing me off the other day. I was about to say something rude, but then I thought “what would Jesus do?” So I set him on fire and sent him to Hell.
Astonishing. I always thought Jesus would realize that Hell has enough burning people already, but is just dying for some poor souls who aren’t yet on fire…
Okay, it’s not a stupid sign, but whenever I see the “Free Methodist Church” sign, I’m always tempted to add, “…with purchase of a methodist church of equal or greater value.”
There’s a church here in town, they’re a little fanatical. They have a billboard outside that sometimes has quasi-witty notes on it. One day it read “Free trip to Heaven, inquire within.” For whatver reason I had a mental image of some guy sitting up at the front wiping down a shotgun with a pile of corpses next to him.
Ok, so that isn’t snappy but I think faster than I talk, so it seemed snappy at the time.
We used to have a painfully obnoxious anti-smoking campaign that ran billboards simply stating,
“Quit yet?”
For awhile I just said “Nope.” and lit a cigarrete, but one time I was in a particularly snarky mood and exclaimed loudly enough to be heard by the vehicle next to me…
Me and a friend were strolling past the local "First Church of Christ, Scientist"when she said 'shouldn’t that say “First Church of Christ, Carpenter?”
Sure seems like Jesus attracts a lot of bad sign-authors.
That reminds me of the British pork marketing campaign of a few years ago - Lean on British pork.
My girlfriend at the time had the nickname Leen. And I’m British. One night we were making love… she was on top… so I whispered that line into her ear.
