I might pay to watch Maverick buzz the tower in a Galaxy class starship…
Yeah, but what kind of alien? He certainly lacks the emotional depth to be able to play a member of the Borg, and he couldn’t be a Vulcan, since you’d still be able to tell it was him.
He’s pretty, so what about one of those unisex (monosex?) aliens that Riker fell for? 
A Psychlo? 
Horta?
Cruise … meh. Yea, he’s kind of an anti-draw for me as well. He’d make me far less likely to see the movie, unless there was something to balance out his presence. Like, for example …
Tribbles and Samuel L. Jackson? I might, I just might go see that. On opening day. And that weekend. And again the next week.
Heh heh heh. “Assimilate this, M______R!!!” Col’ got to be! Yo!
Oh, that’s SHEER BRILLIANCE!! You da man, jack! Only, the Vulcan Jackson wouldn’t curse. The great thing about vulcans is they can be utterly polite and still insult you. I think Samuel L. could be the best vulcan ever after Nimoy.
Shuttle Pilot: Which ship is yours, sir?
Captain SLJ: The one that says Bad Motherfucker on it.
-Joe
Enterprise vs the Thetans.
Something like this, perhaps?
You can stop reading there. WENN is not a legitimate news service. They are a British entertainment tabloid and they regularly fabricate their stories. As in, not exaggerate, not stretch the truth, but actively, ground up, inventing things. Making up shit.
Maybe this is true and maybe it isn’t. But if it comes from WENN it might as well come from the voices in the head of the shopping-cart-pushing vagrant on the corner.
“Khan, Khan, Khan, Khan, Khan…you’re glib.”
Wouldn’t a Cruise/Enterprise motion picture actually have NOTHING TO DO with the Enterprise universe?
I mean, just watch any of the Mission Impossible/Mars invasion movies he was in. They had some elements in them that reminded you of the original franchise.
So, actually, in Mr. Cruise’s version they’d probably have a F-15-shaped spaceship with, maybe, a crew of 4 (aliens, pehaps?) He’d probably be using some kind of laser(phaser?) based dagger, some personal force-field, all fights would be resolved one-on-one and it would end with a passionate embrace of a babe.
Strange. I expected every other post to have a Xenu joke. The Star Trek-meets-Xenu plots almost write themselves.
What does Xenu need with a starship?
shaped like a DC-8
XXEEEEENNUUUUUUUUU!
There, you happy now?
Here’s an idea to give a whole mess of Trekkers a collective coronary - an all-Scientology version of “Star Trek”
Capt. Kirk - Tom Cruise
Mr. Spock - John Travolta
Dr. McCoy - Jason Lee
Scotty - Isaac Hayes (the character would have to be re-written, of course)
Lt. Uhura - Chaka Khan
Mr. Sulu - (??)
Checkov - Danny Masterson
Saavik - Kirstie Alley
green-skinned sex-slave babe - Katie Holmes
“Engram and engram, what is engram!?!”
“It says its name is X’nu.”
“She’ll no hold together, my little crackers!”
“Damn, Captain! I already gave you red hot auxiliary power to the shields!”