Civ III fantasies

There’s a message board for fans of the game Civilization. Last week I started a thread there called “Post Your Civ Fantasies Here” and posted this daydream, just as a lark (reconstructed from memory)—

So this post lasted only 2 days before one of the mods deleted it and locked the thread. She scolded

Tsk tsk.

Well, it makes me appreciate our good old Straight Dope Message Board all the more, since the mods here let us post all kinds of racy stuff. Our one rule, “Don’t be a jerk,” is elegant and beautiful in its simplicity and justice. Also, we have the benefit of a BBQ Pit, where we can bitch to our hearts’ content about evil Nazi mods. The Civ forum mod peremptorily zapped my mild, gently erotic fantasy, implying it was indecent!

Maybe she’s Catholic and thought it was blasphemous to write about one of the saints of the Catholic Church that way. Or maybe she is so ignorant of French, she imagines the phrase “Voulez-vous” is talking dirty in French, based on the song “Lady Marmalade.”

Well, maybe I did include a little double entendre

Or maybe she was horrified that you’re playing Civ III to the point of having sexual fantasies about the game’s foreign leaders… I know I am (horrified, that is). :slight_smile:

Aw, lighten up. It was just in fun. I was writing it as a literary form.

Computer game erotica is a literary form? Excellent – never before has my collection of slashdot Lara Croft stories sounded so respectable. (I have a small colleciton of Mario on Luigi fiction as well, but it’s not something I like to talk about.)

In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think I should publish these stories, so they’re available to others.

The title shall be: Womb Raider: The Sexual Misadventures of Lara Croft. Look for it wherever fine literature is sold. Also, at Barnes and Noble.

Maybe it was closed because Joan of Arc was underage. :smiley:

In Civ III she was born in 3000 BC.

How long do you want the girl to wait!

Sheesh.

Tris

Until marriage, like any good Christian girl;)

What’s French for “My words are backed with NUCLEAR WEAPONS!”

Ma position est supportée par des ARMES NUCLÉAIRES !

That phrase does not exist in French;). However, “we did not bomb that particular chain of Pacific Islands” entered the French idiomatic lexicon in the 70s. Think Richard Nixon with a Clinton accent, except more nasal:D

If you mean literally iampunha, you’re right, The translation doesn’t make sense. If on the other hand you want to get the meaning of the original sentence, I believe that my translation is the closest to it.

I dunno about this. While any individual Catholic may think any crazy thing, the Catholic Church itself doesn’t get too bothered by sexual innuendo–it just puts a symbolic gloss on it.

Your post made me think of St. Theresa of Avila, an actual Doctor of the Church. She wrote this mystical thing about mansions of prayer and how one can join oneself to God. Part of this is “spiritual betrothal,” which per some modern critics looks a lot like erotic love.

So, all you need to do is say that Joan symbolizes courage in the face of persecution, and that when you gave her the “gems” you were submitting spiritually to her moral authority, in a spiritual marriage. Works for me.

Mmm… paging Doctor Love…

I’ve had some unsavoury thought about Sister Miriam, leader of the Believer faction in Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri.

In one of my recent Civ III games, Catherine the Great seemed a bit too insistent that I give her horses…