“We must launch the third wave immediately! Destroy their fuel tanks, repair facilities and support ships! Only this will ensure that we’ve truly crippled them!”
“No, Genda-san. For by now, many fat, white suburbanites will have brought their small arms, folding chairs and cans of Monster energy drink. Attack would be futile, and how would we explain this to the Emperor?”
D_Odds: I do believe you are correct in your assessment, especially when the other individual is exhibiting an incredible lack of understanding of (and unwillingness to learn about) the military’s current weapons regulations.
I guess there’s a bright side, though. AS watchwolf49 mentioned, one person found out it’s a good way to get free food.
Not just ignorance of the current regulations but why the regulations are the way they are. It’s not because the military is full of liberals who hate guns.
Well, that does it. I’m ready to run out tomorrow, buy a firearm, and camp out at a recruiter site. Hope someone else hasn’t claimed the spot first.
I would appreciate suggestions on what kind of gun I should get (more specifically, how much I should spend on one) and how long it would take for the gun to pay for itself with all the free food. I’m looking for the most cost-effective strategy here. (Would it be more cost-effective if I just used the gun to hold up restaurants?)
If only these people could find a military recruitment center in which they could sign up to defend their country for reelz.
What you should do to protect people is to buy gun and a ticket at the local megaplex and sit there all day protecting the folks from theater shooters, who are about as common as people who shoot recruiters. It’s air-conditioned, the seats are comfortable, and some theaters have unlimited refills on popcorn and soft drinks.
But do I get the popcorn and drinks for free? ETA: . . . and admission?
Look, cheapskate, you save money on the lawn chair and umbrella, cuz you won’t need 'em. Buy a toy gun and pop off the orange “this is just a toy” barrel plug because you also won’t really need to shoot anybody. You can get your ticket and snacks and have loads of money left to cover bail.
So, that’s when I get the free food, right?
Well, turns out there was a shooting in Los Angeles. There was no word of how close to an Armed Forces recruiting office this occurred, so I did a little web searching and found out that the shooting was in Studio City, recruiting office at 2700 Colorado Boulevard. That’s a 12-minute drive.
I waited a while to post this because I wanted to see how many of the armed civilians would go out to the streets to protect you guys back in the United States. Apparently, none so far. I wonder if it has to do with the distance. Maybe 12 minutes by car is just a touch too far. I suggest those of you looking for a new home make sure you find a place no farther away than an 11-minute drive.
Maybe it’s not the distance. I suppose it could be the lack of restaurants providing free food for your local paranoid gun nuts (Note: I do not think that all gun nuts are paranoid). Better check the Yelp reviews for the fine dining establishments in your new town before dropping some serious cash on a house.
Oh, don’t move to close to a cinema either. We’ve already established that the spiffy new Civilian Army Reinforcement Platoon isn’t concerned about you if you’re getting shot up while trying to enjoy the latest out of Hollywood.
Maybe the CARP needs to get someone in charge. Let’s call him (I’m not being sexist here; have you seen any females out “protecting the soldiers because the damn government won’t let the soldiers protect themselves”?) the Commander, Regiment of the American People’s Protective Yokels. Of course, he has to have a lot of knowledge concerning certain aspects of logistics: where to get the best and cheapest lawn chairs and patio umbrellas, how to [del]swindle[/del] obtain enough food for the CARP, and this last one may be the most important, determining the travel time away from those poor currently defenseless military recruiting offices. Yeah, whoever takes that job would have a lot of responsibilities, none of which includes ensuring the CARP members are proficient in the use of or are even legally allowed to use firearms. I wouldn’t take that job for love or money. I wonder if Les Nessman is still available to be the CRAPPY CARP.
Sorry, Monty, but random nuts shooting guns are just that and have nothing to do with the core mission of CARP, which is to protect recruiters by scaring off minority recruits. There’s no reason our men and women in the military should need to deal with, or even see, that kind.
Now that you mention it, dropzone, I wonder what would happen if some minority member, say a Sikh, wearing a turban and toting a rifle showed up to help out the ol’ CARP.
I hesitate to use the word “pretend” with anybody that is actually armed.
You are equating physical fitness with patriotism and obesity with an incapacity for patriotism.
I’m not sure what is more disgusting. The fact that you are so bold-faced in your bigotry or the fact that you’re not being called out on it.
I hate to break it to you, but here is the image of a home-grown terrorist and anti-American murderer. And then, here is the image of a man who did exactly nothing wrong, hurt exactly nobody and plotted to kill exactly zero people in Atlanta in 1996.
You wish to hate on fat people because it is amusing? Fine. Join the other middle school boys in this hobby. What your post does - to the exclusion of anything else useful or ignorance-fighting- is expose your world-view for all to see.
Pathetic.
:dubious:
Yanno. Mrrikka and all.
Project much? You missed the point by a wide margin.
Have a pizza and chill out, dude.
Thanks for being offended for fat folks like me, 'toon, but I didn’t call him on it because I wasn’t offended. I understand the fellow in question because I’d like to own a motorcycle, but I’d look cartoonish if I rode one. I could lose the weight, but I guess I don’t really want a bike that much. However, if I had seriously tried to join up and was turned away because of my weight, and if I sincerely wanted to help by participating in the war, I’d either lose it or put up with the catcalls.
All told, please don’t fight my battles for me. I’ll let people know when they’ve pissed me off.
And I thought the first pun was a groaner.
Gee whiz … does this guy look dangerous … it’s free speech with a gun, the best kind.
