I like “implied” rhymes such as from Country Joe & The Fish’s I Feel Like I’m Fixin’ To Die Rag:
“And it’s one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
…
And it’s five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,”
(Gimme an “F”!)
“From Hallifax to Orlando
Run the millenium like Han, or Lando.”
-Wordburglar, Rhyme O’Clock.
I can’t decide between clever or not, but rhyming Orlando with or Lando is definitely something.
The rhyme scheme is fine, as is. It’s the ham-fisted “doesn’t know what the facts is” that is glaring.
Stephin Merritt of the Magnetic Fields is a big fan of ambitious (and obnoxious) rhymes:
“We’ve got so many tchotchkes we’ve practically emptied the Louvre
In most of our palaces there’s hardly room to manouvre
No, I can’t go to Bali today, I must stay home and Hoovre
Up the gold dust…” - from “Zebra”
“Before you left your garrison you had a drink, maybe two
You don’t remember Paris, hon, but it remembers you!” - from “The Night You Can’t Remember”
To choose two. And then there’s “The Death of Ferdinand de Saussure,” where the Swiss linguist’s name is rhymed with “so sure [a homophone],” “closure,” and - within the same verse - “composer” and “composure.” Which is, IMHO, so bad it’s great.
From “Hard Knock Life” (the one from Annie):
No one cares for you a smidge
When you’re in an orphanage
I like this one from Lee Hazelwood-
My eyes grew heavy and my lips they could not speak
I tried to get up but I couldn’t find my feet
And the theme From That 70’s Show
Hanging out,
down the street,
The same old thing,
we did last week
Love a bunch of Marillions stuff, though, I am thinking you meant “stop it” and “pocket” as not so clever.
This one from Marillion’s song Fugazi…clever
Decriminalised genocide, provided door to door Belsens
Pandora’s box of holocausts gracefully cruising satellite infested heavens
Belsen being a concentration camp (Bergen-Belsen)
and this from Charting the Single
Slow French kissing with the Dauphin’s daughter
If I fall in love now I’ll be floating in Seine
Plastered in Paris I’ve had an Eiffel
Gonna make my escape on the midnight train
Choo, choo to you - Choo, choo to you - Charting the single
Schnapping my fingers on an alcoholiday
Sniff round a Fraulein when I’m scent to Cologne
All night hotel Liebling make your mark
Let sugar daddy melt in his home sweet home
“facts is” and “taxes” is a perfectly good rhyme, in american rock anyway. What you found glaring I’m almost positive he knew was a good vernacular line for his song.
His dad was a Texas lawman by the way.
That’s Big Star being covered by Cheap Trick. It captures that Dazed n’ Confused cruising feeling perfectly.
twenty one pilots doesn’t even try with Stressed Out:
But they do come back with
“Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis”
Is both.
The pop classic:
Said that love was too plebeian,
Said that you were through with me, an’
Clever rhymes are all over Sondheim’s stuff. From the prologue to Into The Woods, re Jack’s cow:
The Black Eyed Peas (pre-Fergie) with Karma:
I’m the caboose of the wrong doings you produce
The wild tail of the tornado running loose
You tie the noose, I kick the chair
I’m the cyanide that snatch your life while you gasp for air
The echo of the “fuck you” that boomerangs to hurt your loved ones
The thief that held your son, held by ransom
The pervert that raped your wife
The hand that held the knife that took your life
You shot Tupac and Biggie
Now I’m coming after you like v-w-x-y-z
This is cause and effect, the domino effect
The “what goes up, must come down” effect
I have no problem with the rhyme. (“Facts is” and “taxes” is a fine rhyme to me. ) If that’s the vernacular, then I’m fine with it; it seems a little off to me, but if it really is colloquial, I’m okay with it. It just really jumps out at me, but, hey, I’m Chicago vernacular so I’m sure others will take issue with many of our colloquial constructions.
But, like I was otherwise saying, the rhyme scheme in that verse is perfectly fine. All four endings of the verses are rhymes or near-rhymes.
That is to say, I have no problem with anyone rhyming “Texas,” “taxes,” “justice,” and “facts is.” They’re not pure rhymes, but who gives a shit? Save that for nursery rhymes. I just thought the phrasing to get one to “facts is” was a bit shoehorned for the rhyme, but I’m happy to believe that it’s a vernacular turn of phrase.
Michael Flanders (of Flanders & Swann) had many clever rhymes.
A sample, from Misalliance:
Love Magnetic Fields and their rhymes. “Fido” is a masterwork in silliness and jealousy:
I give him the license because: it sounds rock and roll (to me), his dad was a Texas sheriff, and… Dragnet. “Just the facts…” but if it didn’t scan I wouldn’t be so forgiving.
Gershwin does it a lot.
From “Delicious”