I ain’t askin’ for much
I said lawd take me downtown
I’m just lookin’ for some tush
"You can try, try, try
But you can’t expect a demigod
To beat a decapod."
“Shiny”, from the Moana soundtrack.
From the same song:
Left behind by the latest trends,
Eating fried chicken with his regicidal friends.
Then of course there’s this great rhyme from ‘Mr. Bad Example’:
I got a part-time job at my father’s carpet store
Laying tackless stripping and housewives by the score
I loaded up their furniture and took it to Spokane
And auctioned off every last Naugahyde divan
And perhaps my favorite Zevon lyric, from ‘Desperadoes Under the Eaves’:
And if California slides into the ocean,
Like the mystics and statistics say it will,
I predict this motel will be standing,
Until I pay my bill.
In his song “Liaisons”, Stephen Sondheim had to jump through hoops to rhyme the title word with “raisins”.
Well, since it’s Christmas and since I’m me… I suggest a Christmas song written by ME!!!
I did write what I believe to be one of the greatest lyrics of all time.
It only loses a few points (maybe) because it depends upon a slightly obscure reference (or maybe it gets extra points for that).
The song is about having an improvised Holiday celebration while lacking many of the old traditions, about a gathering of friends who are unable to be home with family.
The slightly obscure reference that shows up in the relevant lyric mentions a Christmas Eve Seven Fishes Dinner.
This gathering of friends, though coming up short on some traditions (like that Seven Fishes Dinner), are still happy because they are surrounded by people they love and they have the true Holiday spirit.
And the lyric (one of the greatest lyrics of all time) goes like this:
[QUOTE=one of the greatest lyrics of all time]
…
Even Grandma would appreciate
Though we lack the seven fish she ate
We got Holiday spirit and we’re having a ball
Let the guiding principle be good will to all
[/QUOTE]
YouTube link so you can appreciate the song in all its glory.
Loretta Lynn, Coal Miner’s Daughter:
Yeah, I’m proud to be a coal miner’s daughter
I remember well, the well where I drew water
The work we done was hard
At night we’d sleep 'cause we were tard
I never thought of ever leaving Butcher Holler
To be honest, with her accent those two words did rhyme
Any song (usually Country) that rhymes “girl” with “world.”
Blecch.
Des’ree – **‘Life’
***I don’t want to see a **ghost
***It’s the sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news
“But if you go round carrying pictures of Chairman Mao
You ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow”
Maybe the laziest lyric ever. I hope I’m not violating Fair Use by quoting the lyrics from the old Batman TV series theme in full:
Batman.
Batman.
Batman.
Batman.
Batman, Batman, Batman.
Batman, Batman, Batman.
Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh,
Batman!
Hank Snow:
I was totin’ my pack down the dusty Winnemucca road,
Along came a semi with a high and canvas-covered load… . .
Marty Robbins:
I caught a good one,
It looked like it could run . . .
Moana has some great songs in it, but my single favorite rhyme is from “You’re Welcome,” in which a demi-god (or, as he sings later, “an ordinary demi-guy”) brags about his feats:
That’s a mighty fine rhyme.
Oh, and there’s a great rhyme in the song “Shiny,” as a giant treasure-loving crab beats up on Maui:
“All summer they drove us back through the Ukraine
Smolyensk and Viyasma soon fell
By autumn we stood with our backs to the town of Orel”
Al Stewart, “Roads to Moscow”
(And pretty much all the lyrics in that song) Actually not so much clever, if anyone has already mentioned this I missed it.
Tim Minchin has some exceptional ones.
From Thank You God
“Thank you Sam for the chance to acknowledge this
Omnipotent ophthalmologist”
The Pope Song (very, very NSFW)
“And if you don’t like the swearing this motherfucker forced from me
And reckon it shows moral or intellectual paucity”
Many of his songs have very intricate melodies and rapid-fire vocalizing with some amazing lyrical gymnastics. (If you watch Thank You God (above), you’ll see at the end he has a tiny celebration in recognition of the fact that he got through the live performance of it without stumbling over the lyrics anywhere (‘It’s a miracle!’)
“Secret Love” (Doris Day #1)
Once I had a secret love
That lived within the heart of me
All too soon my secret love
Became impatient to be free
Minchin is great. He wrote Matilda, and his “School Song”, while not full of clever rhymes, has some brilliant wordplay in it. A new student has come to a truly horrible school, and was mocked for being unlettered, and he defends himself by saying he knows the ABCs. The current student sing a terrifying song back at him. Here’s the first bit:
I didn’t pick up on the cleverness the first go-round. The second go-round, the kids clamber over a wrought-iron gate while singing this discordant songs, and the bits I’m underlining show up on the gate:
The song continues in this vein, the world’s most awful alphabet song. It’s amazing.
And from Minchin’s song “Naughty”
Another doesn’t-work-without-the-accent, this one from Neil Finn. Crowded House’s Amsterdam:
You and me got the whole day off
Take a trip to Vincent Van Gogh
But the line went halfway 'round the block…
(Van-Go wouldn’t work, but Van-Guh[sup]f[/sup] does…)
I’ve always liked Zappa’s Dirty Love:
I’ll ignore your cheap aroma
And your little-bo-peep diploma
I’ll just put you in a coma
With some dirty love