I do like some rap/hip hip from time to time, mostly because there are some damned clever and catchy turns of phrase out there. Give me your favorites.
“LA face with the Oakland booty”
O Sir Mix-a-lot you are truly a sage for our times.
“You should hear how she sounds with a cock in her,
Boots get knocked from here to Czechoslovakia.”
It busts me up every time I hear it.
Hard to the CORE.
Forgot to give mine, both
Look nigga, don’t think you safe cause you moved out the hood
Cuz ya momma still around dog, and daddy ain’t good
If you was smart you’d be shook of me
Cuz I’d get tired of lookin for ya, spray ya momma crib, and let ya ass look for me
From 50 Cent’s “Heat” becuase that’s just fucking gangster as it gets and then everything DMX has ever done.
Can’t say I see that as being all that clever, or maybe I’m misreading your criteria.
Clever is Das-EFX’s “so many titles under my belt, I gotta wear it on my neck.”
I like Fitty’s flow, but his lyrics are anything but clever.
“I should do the world a favor and cap you like ‘Old Yeller’
You’re just about as useless as jpegs to Helen Keller.”
“Cut ya up like Edward Scissorhands
You know the program, I’m the muthafuckin’ man”
- Jeru the Damaja, “I’m The Man”
Grillz - Nelly, Paul Wall
“It’s the ice man Paul Wall
I got my mouth lookin’ somethin’ like a disco ball
I got the diamonds and the ice all hand set
I might cause a cold front if I take a deep breath”
No, that just tickles me, it’s not the best thing I’ve heard just the first that came to mind. Gangsta rap is a played out genre and I thought that clever.
Well, I don’t know how clever it is but I do like me some Buttermilk Biscuits by Mix-a-lot
One day I kissed my freak,
Hit the street,
Looking for something to eat
In an 18 wheeler lookin real swass
All the girls smile cause I’m the big boss.
Of course that’s just a small sample from an entirely excellent rap.
This is but one example of the comedy genius of the Insane Clown Posse:
*Sharon: Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the
same time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would
your pick up line be? Well, whoever’s the smoothest wins!..
Contestant #2: Fuck that, you’d be jacking me quick
I’d order you a drink and stir it with my dick
And then to get your attention in the crowded place
I’d simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face
Contestant #1: Yeah, freak with your nuts, yeah, that’ll get her!
From the Neden game by ICP
Do you remember that horrible “Summer Girls” song by LFO in the late 90’s? (The one that goes "New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits/Chinese food makes me sick?) Eminem did a mini-parody of this song in “Marshall Mathers” on the Marshall Mathers LP:
New Kids on the Block suck a lot of dick
Boy/Girl groups make me sick
And I can’t wait 'til I catch all you fggts in public
I’m 'a love it
Yeah, tell her that’s she’s fat, that’ll work even better.
I’m like a fly Malcom X: Buy any Jeans necessary.
I still love that line…
From 'The Ghetto Remix"
"So they grip a chrome mag
And walk around like who wanna toe tag?
Fiending to leave a head see-through like a coke bag "
I love that whole song, off of Nas and Green Lantern’s The Nigger Tape. The above verse is Joell Ortiz and I think he gave Nas a run for his money.
I love this from Ghostface on Josephine:
“Yo, I know this chick from the hood named Courtney Cox
And her brain is easy to pick like faulty locks
She’s awfully hot, asshole burning like tobasco
She used to be thick, it’s like where the hell her ass go”
I love these threads so much. Now I gotta go find some Jeru to listen to. I used to love ‘Come Clean’. Jeru was the truth.
Goes without saying that Rakim was a master at a clever turn of phrase, right? Ok. Also, you know who else used to make me smile all the time with some witty lyrics? Special Ed. I wonder what’s up with him lately.
He’s not like anybody that you ever met before
He eats Monopoly and shits out Connect-Four
And my panache will mosh your entourage
Squash your squad and hide your body under my garage.
And when the cops come lookin’
I’ll be bookin’ to Brooklyn
Leave the trails broken flippin’ tokens to Hoboken
Are we talking clever as in witty or as in a creative way of expressing hard gangsta shit? I honestly can’t tell by the way the thread’s weaving. I’ll just go with “favorites:”
I just love this bit from ‘Daydreamin’ by Lupe Fiasco:
“I had to turn my back on what got you paid
I couldn’t see half the hood on me like Abu Ghraib
But I’d like to thank the streets that drove me crazy
And all the televisions out there that raised me”
Some hard shit from ‘Little Weapon’ by Lupe Fiasco
“Cute, smileless, heartless, violent
Childhood destroyed, devoid of all childish
ways – Can’t write their own names
Or read the words that’s on their own graves
Think you gangstas popped a few rounds?
These kids will come through and murder a whole town
Then sit back and smoke and watch it burn down
The grave gets deeper the further we go down”
Fun story from ‘Party at My Place’ by Bliss N Eso
“It’s me, Motley
Didn’t I tell you fuckers to watch me?
Bliss, you know I’m pissed man, you should have stopped me
(hiccup) Now I’m drunk and this fat chick’s got me
Handcuffed to the taps and now she’s filling the bath
I’m from the UK so she loves the way that I rap
But the bitch got sideburns worse than Shaft
Shit’s not funny man, please don’t laugh!”
K-OS also has a lot of great lines, but I can’t single any out off the top of my head right now.
Word to your moms I came to drop bombs
I got more rhymes than the Bible’s got psalms
Messed up the link to Party at My Place – it’s here.
PS – I can understand censoring “nigga” out of the clean versions – but “cocaine” and “AK-47”? What the fuck?