Clichés you often hear that aren't true

I always took it to mean “first, empty out your 401k account, then fill the trunk of your car with cocaine…”

It’s a nice thought, but what if today isn’t your last day (and so far, none of them have been).

A related one: “nobody ever said on their deathbed, 'gee, I wish I’d spent more time in the office.”

It’s a good point, within reason. But I bet there are many people who, at the end of their lives, have regrets about things that are direct or indirect consequences of not living up to their career potential.

Speaking of regret, the old saying that you’ll regret the things you didn’t do far more than the mistakes you’ve made. Nope, despite the fact that I am definitely the type of person that adage is directed at, the biggest regrets of my life so far are the things I have done wrong.

I do regret not doing things in general. But about the only specific thing I regret not doing that I really wanted to do at the time and can’t now is go clubbing in Orlando back when hardcore techno music was popular (it’s all rap, now, and I was too shy to even think about going to a dance club in the late 90s.) A trivial regret compared to the several times I’ve ruined relationships by doing stupid things.

“One rotten apple spoils the whole barrel.”

As a literalist, I intrepret this to mean that the rotten apple compromises the quality of the wood used in the barrel, which, in fact, would not be the case (the rotten apple in question may not even be in contact with the wood), and the barrel may be made of plastic, for all we know.

And if we are talking about the remaining apples surrounding the rotten apple, chances are they’re just fine and perfectly suitable for eating.

“Everything that goes up must come back down.”

I don’t think Voyager’s coming back to earth any time soon.

“A penny saved is a penny earned.”

No, a penny saved is a penny saved, simple as that. If earned a dollar and spent only 99 cents of it, I don’t re-earn the extra penny that I supposedly “saved.”

They might not be, which is where the saying comes from. A ripening apple produces a lot of ethylene gas, which triggers accelerated ripening and then rotting in other apples around it.

A swan can break a mans arm with its wing,I’ve no cite but read somewhere that its untrue.

Two can live as cheaply as one.

Those who can do something do it,those who can’t teach it.

You can never learn anything from books.

Everyone has a right to an opinion…well if I need a serious operation I’m only interested in the surgeons opinion on how to perform it,not my families,not my colleagues,neighbours,hospital porters or that bloke in the pub who’s MIL knows a medical student.

But if I can figure out a way to avoid spending X amount of money that I otherwise would have spent, I come out ahead just as if I had gone out and labored to earn X amount of money.

I dunno about “significant” either, but I can think of a number of examples. The first that comes to mind is my niece’s first husband, who was one of a rather large number of siblings. When my niece divorced him, his own mother came and assured her it was not her fault, that he had been bad from day one and they didn’t know why; he had been raised just like all the others.

Yeah, it does not surprise me that his mother would say that. Does not mean it’s true.

“Idle hands are the Devil’s workshop.”

That kinda depends on what the busy hands are doing, now doesn’t it?

To be fair, it doesn’t say that busy hands necessarily aren’t.

Well, not to further hijack (too late, I know), he WAS the only bad seed in a large brood. His mother said she had hoped my niece would help him become a better person, but it was not to be. Our family’s observations certainly confirmed her comments.

“Idle hands are the Devils workshop, as are busy hands, if you’re engaged in Devil’s workshop behavior, but if not, your hands should always be busy, rather than idle.”

Like you say, this could be its own thread, but I do not think that is necessarily his fault. Possible? Maybe. Necessary? No. Without knowing any more, and just based on a lifetime of observation, I would still give the benefit of the doubt to the son here, and lean towards thinking the parents did something wrong (the fact that the mom is bad-mouthing him to the woman he’s going through a divorce with seems to favor this, by the way.) I can think of a lot of reasons (have actually witnessed a lot of reasons) why it’s ultimately the parents’ fault in similar scenarios. One quick example is if the kid isn’t inherently who the parent wanted him or her to be; e.g. gay. Even if the parents seem to “accept” this on the surface, there can be deep undercurrents there that are only perceptible to members of the household, and they are capable of doing untold damage. In your case could be as simple as his mom having had her heart set on having a girl when he came along. Maybe she barely even realizes that she’s resented him his whole life, or realizes it and just can’t admit it.

If I can choose my last words, they might very well be “I wish I’d spent more time in the office” just so I can achieve some immortality as a cite whenever the “Nobody ever said” thing is mentioned.

Actually, I think flies prefer bullshit.

“First impressions are everlasting” - Not true

I’ve often tried later to recall those first meetings of friend and co-workers, and
later realized I’d known them a bit before they made any impression. The first
few meetings they were just part of “the crowd”

I suggest “First impressions are soon replaced”

They say of actors “You’re only as good an actor as in your last picture”
And in the case of bosses, their impression of you is always of the form “What have you done for me lately?”

LOL

I got completely PWNED on a essay I wrote back in the day for a intro philosophy class. I used that exact Columbus aphorism. The TA COVERED my page in red ink, describing in detail, with citations, why I was wrong and an idiot.

It stung, but got the point across.

;D

The strip talks about using balsamic “vinegar,” which isn’t vinegar but a mixture of wine, vinegar and herbs; they also talk about fruit flies. Wine vinegar doesn’t attract household flies; at least the fully-fermented one we use at home.

“Slow and steady wins the race.”
I’ve tried it. Never works.