C'mon Spirit! We want shrimp! We want shrimp!

[Marine_One]

IF NASA FINDS CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE OF AN OCEAN ON MARS, AMERICA EATS FREE GIANT SHRIMP!

http://www.longjohnsilver.com/

If NASA’s Mars Exploration Mission team discovers conclusive evidence that an oceanic body of water currently exists or previously existed on the planet Mars, and an Official Declaration of such existence is made on or before February 29, 2004, Long John Silver’s will offer every person in the United States the opportunity to obtain one (1) free Giant Shrimp (Approximate Retail Value of $0.79)

YOU CAN DO IT, SPIRIT! AMERICA IS DEPENDING ON YOU!!

[Tallayan]

Can any of the local sciency-types swing by to give us odds of this happening? My bet is the Long John Silver has done their homework on it.

[drewbert]

NASA’s use of words such as “may” and/or “might” in describing the degree of certainty of the existence of an oceanic body of water represent an insufficient degree of certainty for the purposes of this promotion and will not constitute a qualifying official declaration.

I’d say they’ve sufficiently covered their butts. Scientists don’t leave out qualifiers lightly.

But on the off chance there is 100% positive confirmation:

Upon Official Declaration… On March 15, 2004, between 2 p.m. and 5 p.m., consumers may visit any participating Long John Silver’s® restaurant in the United States to request a Free Giant Shrimp. Limit one Free Giant Shrimp per person.

Three hours of Free Shrimp. On a Monday. Between lunch and dinner.

[clayton_e]

Companies who do these “if (insert historic event) happens we’ll give everyone one free (insert product here)” usually do not have to pay out anything because they do their homework and look at the odds. Win-win, really.

Except for when something unexpected happens…

Reminds me of the Simpsons episode when the falling of the Soviet Union screws over a rigged scheme of Krusty’s.

“I will personally spit in every 50th Krusty Burger”

• Krusty

“I like those odds!”

• Homer

[french_frog]

Ahem…
So you offering somebody one shrimp. But it’s lunch time, the person is hungry and thirsty. And all the person is given is one shrimp. OK, a big one, but one shrimp. My bet is that the person is going to order little bit more than the free shrimp.

• People talk about the restaurant, even on the SDMB
• People come in the restaurant
• Profit from the meal covers the free shrimp
• LongJohnSilver Marketing VP is promoted and/or given a shitload of priceless stockoptions.

Simple.

[peasea]

@drewbert

Three hours of Free Shrimp. On a Monday. Between lunch and dinner.

Exactly. Plus, LJS is launching the Giant Shrimp in mid February. What better way to jumpstart a new product than with a giveaway in March?

As for the chain weasling out of its promise through legalese, that would be bad PR (there is such a thing, especially if it brings lawsuits). Instead, to cover the cost of three whole hours of free samples of their new product (one per person, at $.79 each):

Long John Silver’s has purchased an insurance policy to cover the anticipated cost of the free Giant Shrimp redemption

So, if the discovery is announced, the shrimp are already paid for. Seems to me LJS would want an ocean to be found, otherwise, they’re wasting an insurance policy and missing out on the increased business during those non-peak hours.

[Erroneous]

Evidently, they’re going to pay up (in shrimp form).

In January the Long John Silver’s, Inc. restaurant chain offered to give America free “Giant Shrimp” if NASA found conclusive evidence of an ocean on Mars. Now that one of the rover’s has coughed up the scientific goods, the company is making good on its promise: Giving America free Giant Shrimp on Monday, May 10.

Between the hours of 2 p.m. and 5 p.m. on May 10, customers can stop by any participating Long John Silver’s restaurant and enjoy a free Giant Shrimp (one piece per customer).
In a letter to NASA chief, Sean O’Keefe, Long John Silver’s President Steve Davis noted: “This is one small step for man, and one giant leap for Giant Shrimp.” He expressed interest in Long John Silver’s becoming the first seafood restaurant on Mars.

[Malthus]

I don’t want any of their god-cursed shrimp, because, as everyone knows, God Hates Shrimp