A co-worker who is about 40 years my senior has invited me to have dinner with him after work, presumably to discuss literature and Greek philosophy. I feel there is a fine line between a platonic intellectually stimulating dinner, and…lust.net. What do you think?
There is a fine line, sure. However, if it’s dinner at a nice restaurant (lots of other people around) and you go home or wherever afterwards then you’ve had a nice dinner and some good conversation. I am assuming you want to discuss literature and Greek philosophy with him.
Sorr if this is a little sterile, but they beat this stuff into our heads pretty regularly where I work…
Are either of you managers?
Do either of you participate in the others’ review process?
Do either of you feel you HAVE to go (aside from feeling the social obligation to make a meeting you’ve committed to), now that it’s been brought up?
Those would be the three big red-flag-waving signs of badness.
Are you attracted to him? Is he in a position to boss you around? Is he in a position to promote you? Consider all these things before you go. And please fill us in on all the details if you decide to go.
Red flag up, but I’m naturally suspicious anyway.
The age difference makes it puzzling. Seems like he’d have friends his own age who (whom?) he could talk books with.
And why dinner? What’s wrong with lunch, or coffee or a drink after work, both of you going to your own cars after? Or a university lecture or a book signing? Or meeting at a favorite bookstore?
Suspicions aside, if you know him well enough that he feels comfortable asking you out, then go, but go in separate cars.
Maybe I’m just jealous that nice old men aren’t asking me out to talk about books. It’s pretty flattering, really. 