I just had a weird situation here at work - a co-worker I sit close to but am not at all friendly with beyond saying good morning just asked me to pick up lunch for her since I was going myself. After I stared at her in disbelief for a couple of seconds, I said sure, and she proceeded to give me her order and some money to cover it. Is it just me, or is this kind of over the line for a co-worker that you aren’t friends with?
Second part, if you agree with me that a co-worker doing this was over the line, what would your response have been? I did it this time (because I was blindsided by her nerve), but I don’t plan to do it again.
Eh, I don’t see it as a big deal - it’s not as though she’s asking for anything other than a very small favour, which I would do for anyone I was acquainted with. From the other side, I wouldn’t normally have thought of asking, but if I knew someone else was going, and I was working on something, well, what’s the fuss about?
I would have been blindsided by such a request, but, like you, I would probably have done the “neighborly thing” and done what you did.
You just have to be asking yourself if she’s:
Setting you up for a bigger fall
Making a pass at you
Seeing how gullible you are so she can rob you or con you
Too stupid to realize the effrontery
Just fucking rude
After finding out what she’s really up to by observing her closely for a while, unless you find she’s really all that devious, just write it off as option 4 or 5 and next time it happens just grin and say, “right” and keep on with what you were doing.
I’d do it once, no questions asked. The second time, I’d probably choose one of the passive-aggressive options, i.e. conveniently forget, screw up the order, etc.
I’d probably do it once (she’s probably swamped and desperate) but I’d say I was running errands or something if she asked again. It’s a pain in the ass to have people expect you to be the one to keep track of a bunch of orders and do the fetching.
:rolleyes: No big deal here at all. In the various office settings where I’ve worked, I’ve been on both sides of the situation. It’s just friendly, neighborly, and–for most people, anyway–not an imposing thing to ask.
This never really came up for me. I’d do a pretty equal amount of asking and doing, depending on what I had going on that day. Now, if it turns out that she’s going to ask daily for delivery service and never offer to pick up some food for you, then yeah, I can get behind the idea that she’s heinous.
She asked and gave you money to cover her meal cost at a place you were going to, what’s so rude about that? Were you put out anything other than a few extra seconds to order for her and carry her food into the building? Maybe she was hoping you would ask her to join (especially if she is not very sociable at work)? Could’ve been her way of breaking the ice.
Where I worked, this was not uncommon as many of us would take turns to fetch lunch because our office was always busy and it was hard to get away.
What would be rude is if she continues to ask and never returns the favor or doesnt pitch in a little extra for gas (assuming you are using your own vehicle).
Not a big deal, as long as she paid for herself. If she wanted me to go somewhere other than where I was going to pick up her lunch, that would be weird. And I would probably say it is out of my way, sorry. But grabbing something from a place I’ll already be? Naw, not a big deal.
Every day? Yeah, maybe a little intrusive. But once in a while, no, I don’t think it would bother me.
I’m with Pixilated. If we were only recently acquainted and I knew you were going I don’t think I’d hesitate to ask you to pick up mine. I would probably add “I’ll go next time” or something similar to reassure you that I don’t think you’re the designated lunch getter.
If she said, “Hey, since you’re going to Subway would you mind stopping at Panera for me? It’s just 2 doors down. I called in an order, but when you get there make sure there aren’t avacados on my sandwich. It ussually comes with avacados but they give me hives.” that would be rude, well not really rude so much as pushy.
If a coworker/cube neighbor asked me to pick up something where I was already headed I think my first thought would be “Favor in the favor bank.”
Thinking about this a bit more, I think what stands out to me is that there is no reciprocity in our relationship. This wasn’t “You do it this time, and I’ll do it next time.” It was simply “Please do this thing for me because I’m asking.” Period. This isn’t the first time this particular woman has asked me for something that she had no right to ask for (work-related in the other instance). I’m getting a picture of her as someone who believes that she has the right to ask anything, and it is other people’s responsibility to tell her no, instead of her responsibility to monitor her own asking for favours.
ETA: She isn’t busy, either. She simply didn’t want to get off her ass.
I’m not sure I’d even think this was odd (much less “nerve”), as long as it wasn’t a literal stranger. It seems to me like just the kind of favor you do for someone because it’s nothing big. If you can’t, you say no.
I must tell you, Zeldar, your faith in human nature has always been an inspiration to me.
I’d probably react the same way. And then ask her to return the favor the following week. If she handles it with good grace, I’d say she’d probably like to be friendly, just is slightly clueless about her approach…
ETA: I didn’t see #12 when I posted. Tell her to get it her own self.
I don’t think it’s any big deal. It’s not like she asked you to get her lunch and didn’t offer money.
By the way, how did it all play out? I mean, did you stand up and say, “Hey, I’m going to Panera for lunch. See you in an hour.” Or did you just stand up, grab your keys and get half way our the door before she pounced and said, “Where are you going?” at which time you were forced to admit you were going to lunch and then she put in her order?
Either way, I don’t think it matters much, though I think the second scenario would give me a little more reason for pause (since I hate it when people pry) than the first since the first could be construed as more of an opening.
Agreed that it’s not a big deal if it’s just this once and it was where you were going anyway. Outside of those parameters and it creeps into rude territory.
I just don’t like the whole favor/favor thing at work in general.
I never ask for rides, ask for people to bring me stuff, ask for money to be loaned, ask for any kind of favors, as a matter of fact, other than directly work-related. I don’t even ask for food.
And that is the only favor I expect back - that no one ask me for the same.
