So I walk into the office this morning, and it’s just me and one other coworker. The third thing out of his mouth after the normal platitudes is “You need to give me a ride later today”, with a big smile on his face, like that makes his demand OK.
He’s put me in a corner, so I say “Yeah, sure - what time?” He says “3:30”. I say “Where is it?” And he names a street that is notoriously busy during the holidays.
I do my stuff, and go out to lunch, and around 3:15 he’s said nothing to me. So I say, “Hey, when is your car going to be ready?” And he says he’ll call and check.
He does so, and tells me it’s now going to be 4:30. So I ask more specifically where it is, and not only is it on this horrible street but it’s a few **miles **away! I have to go north, this place is west - it’s completely out of my way. So I tell him we’re leaving at 4. I get him there by 4:25 or so, and barely manage to get back on my route - using byways and back roads - missing the 5 PM traffic.
Am I the only one who thinks this is rude? This guy has only worked here a month or so. I’ve never asked him for a favor. For him to walk in the door this morning assuming I could give him a ride, never considering that I might live in totally the opposite direction - which I kind of did - seems pretty rude to me.
Yes rude. And he wouldn’t have gotten away with it with me. I may have given him a ride, but only after I had taught him to ask me nicely. If he was a poor learner, he would still be sitting there.
Yes, it’s very rude. I would have no problem if he were to ask, “Would it be possible for you to give me a ride to pick up my car later on?”
But to say “You need to give me a ride” would make me say, “No, I don’t.”
Actually, I probably wouldn’t actually have the nerve to say that, but I would definitely think it.
You were much nicer than I would have been.
Honestly, normally I probably would have said something, or even just flat-out lied and made an excuse, saying I had to be somewhere. He caught me totally flat-footed and it was Monday morning - I wasn’t even awake yet.
I did tell him later when he asked if it was inconvenient - “Yes - it’s rather far out of my way and I’m going the opposite way.” But at that point, how else was he going to get home? And don’t worry, Dopers, it’s not going to happen again.
He did offer to pay for gas. So that’s something.
Yes, it is. Try responding with “I hope that works out for you” and then leave without him.
The correct answer was, “No, I’m sorry. That’s just not possible.”
I don’t know, I will sometimes ask favors in the form of a demand. The grin is what gives it away as an otherwise polite request for assistance for which I would be eternally grateful. Of course, anyone I work with knows I’m generally very respectful of them and am not a demanding or rude person. So it’s all giggles. That may have been the delivery and intent he was going for. And he didn’t make the right call on which form of humor to use and on whom.
That said, if I were to make such a request, I’d know for sure when my car was going to be ready and would keep my driver informed well in advance of any delays. This last bit is a courtesy to the driver as well as a bit self-interested. If you couldn’t do the 4:30, he would have been screwed and unlikely to find someone to replace you. hould also have told you right off where he needed to be.
I’d say rude, but due to ignorance. You are owed lunch and an in-kind favor sometime in the future.
I’m not too worried. I don’t have a track record of being a pushover at all - I’m nice but I don’t get pushed too far and never twice. I have no problem saying a flat-out no next time he asks, especially since I will now be twice prepared.
Sorry to double-post but no way. I plan to limit my interactions as much as possible with this particular coworker. Basically he’s shown me his colors here and I will take it to heart. If I let him buy me a lunch or even ask him for a favor he’ll feel he’s repaid me and thus is entitled to ask again. Most likely he will ask again anyway but then I’ve done nothing to make him feel entitled. I rarely ask for such favors from coworkers anyway.
If you don’t know this guy that well, I’m blown away by the way he asked. It’s one thing to grin and demand to an old friend, but to someone you barely know? Where’s he getting his etiquette advice, House, M.D.?
Yes, he was very rude. You my dear, are way too nice.
I don’t understand why he couldn’t have taken a taxi. Since when is it proper to exhort rides from your coworkers instead of paying less than $20 for a one-way ride??
Let me jump in defense of this poor guy (although he was wrong). Put yourself in his shoes for a minute. You just started working there a month ago. Don’t know anyone too well. How desperate would you have to be to just jump on someone and ask for a lift. He clearly couldn’t afford a no for an answer and went right for the kill.
Where he was very wrong is with all the changes and not letting you know in time. If the car was late, that’s his problem. He should have just gone there earlier, as planned, and wait there on his own.
Ditto. I would not have been nearly so nice, although I might have given him the ride if he had asked nicely.
What’s wrong with a taxi?
(bolding mine) Were I in those shoes - where I couldn’t afford no for an answer - I would be very sure to be as courteous in my request as possible - because I know darn well that if someone were to make such a demand of me, that someone would get a quick and firm no - and an amazingly evil grin while it was being delivered. Where he was wrong was being rude and presumptious. Making the changes only compounded his error.
Yap. it’s rude, but I can’t write someone off for one social ineptitude. Now, if he continues in this vein…stay away.
He was probably trying to be jokingly playful.
I must be some sort of weird politeness freak then - all those factors would make me doubly sure that I asked in the nicest, least imposing, “If you can’t, it’s really not a problem” way possible.