:: slowly and contemptuously drinks half of Daerlyn’s coffee and then pours the rest onto the ground next to the azalea bush ::
I must be addlepated. How do you expect to enforce your will, given that I have coffee and you do not?
I’d find it no more or less ridiculous than the ban on Marijuana.
Wha? Huh buh… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The last time I tried to go a day without caffeine was almost twenty years ago, and I couldn’t do much the whole day but sleep. Seriously.
You wanna take my coffee? Come and get it.
I also like
Stupid fat hobbit! I will make you wish you had never been born if you don’t drop the coffee and back the fuck off :::crushes can of Diet Mountain Dew into forehead::: Now give me back my precious!
I have faith that one of my less-caffeine-addled friends will eventually get around to hooking up a Jolt Cola IV drip, and then I’ll getcha.
I have an anxiety disorder, so I can’t drink caffeine. And decaf, unfortunately, still has some caffeine in it.
I said I would oppose it judiciously or polically, but, since I’m busy dealing with my own problems, it would have to be because someone else started it, and my contribution would be minimal. (Like maybe signing a petition, copying a letter to congress.) I’d do a lot of bitching about it on the Dope, though. 
I would become a smuggler. My dad knows a guy who knows a guy who has a coffee farm in El Salvador. It wouldn’t be too difficult for me to pull a few strings and ensure a steady supply for me and my friends, and anyone who won’t snitch on me.
What, you won’t be polite any more?
::d&r::
My username says it all.
/me restates hers, more politely:
Silly Skald! You forgot “Running At Prohibitionists With A Very Sharp Axe and a Battlecry!” Now Give Me Back My Precious! :D:D:D
Seriously, that’s the only thing I could think of when I read the question. I can just imagine the uncheckable, uncontrollable scream that would leave my throat before the bloodshed began.
The only thing keeping those fuckers who stole my coffee safe is the fact that I would have to swim through molasses to get them.
I have no idea how non-caffeinated people can stand it.
Arms thermonuclear device
Seriously, if coffee was ever to be banned I’d join a militia.
I once saw a mom bitch out her two young children because “ALL I WANT IS A TIM HORTON’S COFFEE!!!111!!”
You can’t ban Timmy’s. Where will everyone get their nicotine fix? 
Coma
I will need weaponry to defend myself against the crazed masses. I’ll still have my 'Dew, so I’ll be fine.
Until the diabetes kicks in.
I’m a big coffee drinker. I’d oppose the legislation and, if it passed, I’d lament and probably give up coffee. It’s not a so huge a thing.