Collectable Dolls That Should Be Made

We’ve all heard about the new G.W. Bush figure that comes complete with flight gear. This was to celebrate his landing aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln…despite the fact that Dubya wasn’t doing the flying. Well…since I’ve been having problems sleeping at night, I got to thinking about all the OTHER dolls that could be made and marketed in time for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa…

The Al Gore Doll: You wind him up and he hugs a tree, invents the internet and files a complaint with the U.S. Supreme Court because he thinks HE should get to sit on the top shelf.

The Hillary Clinton Doll: Wind her up and watch her go! In no time she will have killed off any dolls that she thinks may know too much, written a book and moved to New York to become the first President to become a State Senator! Comes with Bill Clinton hand puppet.

The Osama Bin Laden Doll: Osama comes with his own dialysis machine and camel. Pull his string, let him go and he disappears never to be seen again…although he may send you cryptic audio and or video tapes from time to time.

The G.I. Joe Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Doll: Yes, Joe comes blowin’ into the 21st century complete with day and night wardrobe! By day, he’s The Great American Hero. By night,…well…let’s just say that Joe KNOWS Disco! Day wardrobe complete with back pack and tent. Night wardrobe complete with rainbow bracelet and bottle of amyl nitrate.

The Saddam Hussein Doll: The doll you’ll love to hate!! Pull Saddam’s string and he will regale you with hours of propaganda and stories of his affairs with sheep and camels! As an added bonus, if you pull his string while pressing his mustache, Saddam will play hide & seek with you! This clever little guy will have you boiling mad in minutes! Comes complete with cheesy Iraqi uniform and bullseye target.

The Robert Tilton Doll: Yes, ol’ Bob is back and this time he’s as scary as Chucky! Wind him up and Bob will attempt to extort money from all the other dolls in your collection, all the while proclaiming that HIS bible says it’s ok to use Spiritual Blackmail to raise money. Comes complete with Rolex watch and The Robert Tilton Version of the Bible (aka The UN-Holy Bible).

Watch for these and more dolls coming soon to a store near you!! :stuck_out_tongue:

Hannibal Lektor Barbie

Cecil action figure.

Jimmy Hoffa Doll: Wind it up and it will organize your other dolls into a Teamsters Union and oragainze strikes. After a while, the doll will disappear.

Inspired by a CalMeacham’s sig:

Blair Witch action figures–wind them up and they run in circles, screaming profanities. Eventually, they disappear without a trace.

Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious Cabbage Patch dolls.

Vietnam Era George W. Bush: His wears civilain clothes (hasn’t been in uniform in a year), comes with tiny back of coke, and a signed letter from daddy saying he doesn’t have to fight.

Limited edition House of Representatives action figures. Collect all 435!! Will provide hours of fun and facination. Act now, and also receive the special Senate collection. 100 additional figures!!!

But wait, there’s more!

Call our operators within the next 15 minutes and receive the special “Strom Thurman” action figure. So lifelike, you’ll think he’s alive!!!

The SDMB Member Action Figure: Wind it up and watch it sit in front of your PC for hours reading posts and writing replies until the wee hours of the morning. Hours of fun!!! It’ll keep you in stitches!

Also available in Lurker!

Fidel Castro Doll: Just try to assasinate it! This doll is gauranteed to last a long long long time, no matter how much you might come to hate it. Cigars sold separately.

There was an episode of The Simpsons, (where Bart gets a driver’s license) and Martin buys an Al Gore doll. You pull the string and he says, “You are hearing me talk.”

Someone actually did invent an Oliver North doll during Iran-Contra, I believe.

James Hetfield Doll: Growls a lot of the time, instant dislike to anyone called Jason, and tries to reinvent itself as a skater in time for the new doll. Prosecutes you for having a pirate-copy doll.

Also available: Cliff Burton Actionless Figure