Columbus Meeting recap

At the risk of appearing even more boring and pedantic than usual, that hotel/bar manager was covering up the inadequacies of his cleaning crew by blowing smoke (or bug breath).

I have had to work in much closer proximity to goats than I enjoy remembering, and I really don’t like them much, but they are actually fairly clean animals. (This time of year, the bucks get horribly aromatic, but they don’t attract flies–particularly fruit flies.)

If the manager wanted to claim that some guests (who happened to be among the goat fanciers) brought in a large basket of overripe fruit, he could say that without fear of contradiction (although I would still like to know how they got to the bar), but there is no way a goat convention brought in flies that were still hanging around a week later.


Drain Bead, uh, pardon me for asking, but stupid human trick? I simply must know…

God is dead. -Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. -God
Neitzsche is God. -Dead

It looks like we have at least two threads going with Columbus meeting details. It is going to make for a disjointed discombobulataion but here’s the stuff from the “Columbus or bust” thread.

Hey, we never claimed to be organized.

Melatonin - posted 11-07-1999 12:41 PM

Well, Melatonin was a party-pooper and had to leave shortly after a lovely dinner at a restaurant with a pepto-colored bathroom.

Although there I did manage to hold on long enough to hear an interesting saga of goats and vermin. . .

I’ll let the rest of the krazy krew relate their experiences when they manage to drag themselves outta bed. I have to hit the books before they start hitting me.

Diane - posted 11-07-1999 09:23 PM

Anyone else thinking that they are home with hangovers or in jail?

UncleBeer - posted 11-08-1999 05:09 AM

Hungover? Yes, I certainly was. Jail? Not quite. I think Drain Bead has the details and will post them, I was in no shape to commit anything useful to paper. I do remember something about goats, though.

Sucellus - posted 11-08-1999 09:10 AM

…everything’s kinda vague…

Oh, I remember: “Seeing Eye Goat” Convention

…and Otis trying to get a lap dance from one of them

pldennison - posted 11-08-1999 10:24 AM

My humblest, most dirt-eating apologies to the rest of the OHio SDMBers who were expecting to be graced by my presence.
I was out Saturday afternoon, shopping, and I twisted my ankle. You know, the one I broke and had operated on twice this summer. It swelled right up and hurt like an SOB, so I took a couple Vicodin and went sleepy-sleepy.

So, tell me what all I missed?!?!?!?!?!

P.S.-Rose, I’d happily drive you to the next meet if it is not in Cleveland.

Drain Bead - posted 11-08-1999 10:27 AM

I guess since I’m the only one who was actually able to walk home without a police escort, I’m the one responsible for the minutes. Unfortunately, I didn’t write much down. All I can remember is that the manager of the bar really liked goats, and that Phil is still MIA. I hope he’s not waiting for us at Tommy’s.

UncleBeer - posted 11-08-1999 10:39 AM

Well, I do have those photos…

Ranger Jeff - posted 11-08-1999 10:55 AM

Melatonin got thrown out of the Blue Danube is what happened. It took 4 of Columbus’s finest to do it. She was shouting something like “Yep. Toe View Map.” and doing her rendition of the Dance of the Seven Veils on one of the tables there. While the police were there, they called the EMTs which was pretty helpful because Libby managed to get her fist stuck in her mouth. Well, Libby had a good reason for having it there… everytime she said something, The Doll, who’s about 3.5 feet tall, threatened to kick her ass up and down High Street. As this was going on, Sucellus was urging The Doll on, because he wanted photos of this.
Otis was just hanging back, I think he was afraid that if The Doll wasn’t threatening to kill Libby, she’d kill him. UncaBeer was sort of love struck over one of the seeing eye goats back at the hotel, but he wasn’t gonna do anything about it as long as Sucellus (who looks like a demented Bob Ross, the former painter on PBS guy)) had that camera.

Of course, your humble reporter was a paragon of virtue during the entire evening. Except for us all having to scrape up bail for Melatonin and keeping The Doll from beating up Libby and keeping Uncle Beer AWAY from the underage seeing eye goats, a splendid time was had by all, and Sucellus has the photos

Diane - posted 11-08-1999 11:16 AM


UncaBeer was sort of love struck over one of the seeing eye goats back at the hotel

Well hell, now I’m jealous.

TheDoll - posted 11-08-1999 11:41 AM

Well, I’m not dead, in jail nor was I hung over.
My my my, the stories people can come up with. The only problem with the above story is, other than me not being 3.5 ft tall, Ranger Jeff and Sucellus were begging Libby and I to hop on up to Uncle Beer’s room and finish the fight there, nude and with something…jello?

UncleBeer - posted 11-08-1999 11:50 AM

I was pudding, chocolate pudding.
And Sucellus does not have the photos, I do. We’ll get them posted after I finish switching the goats from the pictures of me to the pictures of Otis and Ranger Jeff.

Ukulele Ike - posted 11-08-1999 11:55 AM

Arggghhhh…start a new thread for this, already! This one’s three pages long!

orangecakes - posted 11-08-1999 12:44 PM

Pl,what do you mean,if its not in Cleveland? Whats wrong with Cleveland?heh heh. Great,just let me know,and we’ll gladly go with ya.

Sucellus - posted 11-08-1999 05:56 PM

Dear Ranger Jeff,
Obviously using a definition of “virtue” I was not previously familiar with.

Baaaahhhhbrrraaaah says call her.

“Demented” I can handle but “Bob Ross” is really hitting below the belt.

Ranger Jeff - posted 11-09-1999 01:17 AM

What you missed was while we were waiting for you, I had to restrain Melatonin from leaning over the bar and refilling her glass herself. And Libby questioning everyone in the bar about how much money they’d want to perform deviate sexual/or just gross acts.

We met in the Holiday Inn on the OSU campus. There seemed to be 2 conventions going on there. There was a group of what seemed to be frat boys, and some blind folks with seeing eye dogs. And lots of fruit flies were flitting around the bar. I think it was The Doll who asked where they came from. I explained about how when a mommy fruit fly and daddy fruit fly love each other

I DO NOT have a thing for the ‘artist’ James!!!
I HATE that song he sings!
She only cums when she’s on top…how sad!

“Let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair…”
Tom Waits

So then…when is the next meeting???

I vote for Cleveland next time. At Phil’s house. He won’t be able to sleep through it then. Certainly not with those weasels on his face.

Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

I forgot to mention, there’s nothing more frightening than the sight of Sucellus jonesing for more chapstick.

Ranger Jeff
*The Idol of American Youth *
Riders In The Sky

Haaaa ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha hahaha aha haha ha ha ha ha ha ha…chapstick…ha ha ha ha ha ha

Hey, I’ll gladly have y’all over at my house if you can ignore the stink of the bodies!

So you did kill Omniscient? Anybody in mourning? Or wasn’t he famous enough?
Disclaimer: If anybody finds this out of line, tough crap. It’s a joke.

Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Hee Hee :smiley:

Well, I’m glad you can laugh Omniscient. I had some qualms about posting that one. :slight_smile:

Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

I’ll bring the pudding.(butterscotch? :wink: )

The poster beneath me is really smart!

I’m not addicted to chapstick…I can quit anytime I want.


I think we decided it had to be chocolate.
The idea was to pour a bunch of the instant mix into the hot tub…anyone have a hot tub? Phil?

:: Pouting ::

Nobody talked about me…

:: Sulking away dejectedly :::

Yer pal,

Satan, since you already own our souls, we didn’t feel the need to talk 'bout ya. We figured you were there in spirit.

::just throwin’ a bone to the dark lord, can’t hurt::

Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Well Satan I tried to talk about you all night, but no one would listen…especially Otis.

“Let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair…”
Tom Waits

You guys had to have talked about me, I mean… come on! How could you not go through a SD gathering and not mention the cow god?

not that it matters or anything…

“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
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If by “hot tub” you mean “lime pit,” I’d be quite prepared for that eventuality.