She is a role model, and I think she’s provided an excellent opportunity to talk to girls and young women and see what they think about her and her decision to reunite with her abuser. Unfortunately for her, since she’s the one who has to live with her own choices, she’s provided an opening line to have a dialogue with young people about domestic abuse. That’s a much more appropriate response than calling her out for being a fool.
Nope. I’m saying if they don’t leave after they get the shit beat out of them the first time, I can’t feel sorry for them once it happens again. You stay with the SOB knowing full well he’s violent … you’re a moron.
Not all women who are battered get killed. To suggest that someone should stay BECAUSE not all women who are battered get killed is idiotic.
If he beats you – fuck giving him the benefit of the doubt. Yeah, maybe he’ll never do it again (almost 0% chance). Maybe he’ll only beat you where the bruises don’t show and spare your face (whatta champ!). Or maybe one day he’ll go too far and snap your neck. How many women are in the grave right now because it never occurred to them that a violent man who has rearranged their face a time or 20 might eventually kill them?
Staying with a man who beats you is akin to jumping in front of a train. How anyone could defend Chris Brown (“oooh it’s a private relationship and none of our business” - MY ASS) or Rihanna (who has more fucking money than she knows what to do with meaning not only can she move far, far away but she can also pay for therapy to get un-fucked up in the head) is beyond me.
Rihanna is no different than many battered women that return to their spouse over and over again. Hubby is remorseful and swears it will never happen again. Of course it does happen again.
I used to watch Cops and recall several times when the patrol officers would respond to a domestic dispute. The women would swear the guy didn’t hit her. They’d say anything to keep him out of jail. If there was obvious injuries than the cops could arrest the guy anyway.
I don’t understand it but it happens. Some women stay in abusive relationships.
Saying all abused women will end up getting killed by their abusers is ridiculous hyperbole. My mom let my dad beat the shit out of her for 14 years of marriage. It was a shitty way to grow up, but it never escalated like that. I never felt worried that he was going to kill her. He’d get drunk, they’d fight, he’d lay out a couple of punches, drag her around by the hair, call her a cunt or whatever, and that was it. Never anything life-threatening. And if it didn’t escalate in the first 14 years, there’s no reason to think it was going to escalate in the next 14.
No, this isn’t an excuse to stay with an abuser. I’m merely refuting the claim that **all **abusers will become murderers in the end.
To the extent that she is a disgrace, she is a disgrace to exactly one person: herself. I don’t see why anyone would project her behavior onto anyone else after thinking about it for more than a second. Sure, there is an emotional response that might make one do so, but I would hope a tiny bit of reflection would cure that.
Every situation is different. Sometimes one is the aggressor and the other is the victim in the abusive relationship. Sometimes they both beat the crap out of each other behind closed doors. Given her attitude I think they are probably both assholes.
I feel that your feelings about ‘the first time’, are a little, well, crude. I see the first beating as more of a demonstration that I ‘own’ you. Sure, first time you may fight with every fibre of your being, tooth and nail, only to literally be beaten into complete submission, humiliation, and degradation. A man may beat his slave into submission, but he probably only needs to batter him, ever after.
Your words most loudly say you haven’t considered that any such thing could happen to you. You’re probably in the, ‘He’d have to kill me!’ camp. Because you can’t imagine the living hell you’d be in if you weren’t killed. Yet one day you could raise a daughter and find yourself impressing upon her that she is both a target, and easily over powered.
There are, in fact, a lot of things about staying in after the first beating your view fails to take into account. As with most things there are many ways to look at things!
Personly, I only take relationship advice from Rob Halford.
Good call, I very much doubt he’s a wife beater.
He or she didn’t say that, at least not in the text you quoted. They don’t have it coming, but should certainly fucking EXPECT it after the first time, if they stay.
No, he’ll just orally rape you at gunpoint.
Exactly.
It would be idiotic if anyone had said such a thing. I want all women to leave any man who ever puts his hands on her once. That doesn’t mean it’s not ridiculous to act like every single one of them is in grave danger of being murdered. Batters are not all the same.
Probably not a whole lot. Most women who were eventually murdered by their SO had probably been terrified of what he might do for some time. And MANY of them are murdered after leaving, so don’t act like they got murdered because they stayed.
She said (again, above) that they were morons and she had no sympathy for them. I don’t see the meaningful difference between that and my characterization of it. Personally, I am sympathetic to innocent people who get beaten to death because they don’t recognize the possibility, or have nowhere to go, or think so.
The bolded words above do not translate to they deserve it, unless you are using a human-to-dumbass dictionary.
Hahahaha! Like that South Park episode about Hybrid cars - “Um… some of us care about the environment. Thaaaaanks!.” Douche.
Okay, what does “I have no sympathy for them” mean, that contains no elements of they deserved it ?
I am not clear to begin with why sympathy should be at such a premium that none can be spared for victims just because they maybe didn’t make the best choice at some stage.
She is young and popular and, no matter her intention, she is a role model for some of her fans, the lion’s share of whom are young girls. Paul Rubens became a kiddie TV role model because some TV executive who I assume never saw it imagined his stage show would make a good kiddie show. He was indiscreet and he paid for it with his career because kiddie TV role models don’t do that. OTOH, Fred Willard lost a couple series in the immediate aftermath a similar indiscretion, but six months later people are glad to see him back on TV because very few of his fans are young and we are more forgiving of old farts.
Just like with Whitney Houston, Rihanna’s manager and record company are doing her a disservice by not sitting her down and explaining her duties as an enormous popstar. And yes, she has duties and, whether she likes it or not, is a role model. Taylor Swift understands.
And I’m surprised nobody has iced Chris Brown. Some guys just need stronger convincing than they get from a good talking-to.
Honestly, at this point, I barely remember what the hell I’m arguing about or who I’m defending. It’s not a matter of deserving anything. It’s a matter of, “Well, that’s too bad, but what did she expect? He beat her at least once, and she defended him. I have no more energy to feel sad about that.”
I would like to see someone smack the smug asshole look off Chris Brown’s face.
He’s such a douche; his music is terrible and I don’t see any sort of sex appeal in him. Why is he even a star?? Is it ONLY for being the ass-beating boyfriend of Rihanna?