Come back, Ernestine, We Need You Now!

Hey, I’ve got a complaint about the phone company! And everybody at the SDMB needs to know about it! It’s not the price, or the service, or how other people misuse technology in ways or in places of which I disapprove. It’s far more important than that.

It’s not the external or the internal consumption of them that gets me down. I don’t even have anything against people who carry cell phones designed in the “princess pink” style. My complaint is much, much more significant.

I don’t care about the discriminatory hiring practices of modern telecommunications companies, their rapacious and shady financial dealings, or the reprehensible personal habits of their stockholders. I’m relatively unconcerned about the industry’s invasion of our privacy, and bored by their improper disposal of Polychlorinated Biphenyls. My gripe runs deeper, wider, and is more fun at parties.

Are you ready? Are you prepared to hear the phone-pitting of your lifetime? Are you sitting down, well away from anything with a ringtone? Well, then, here’s how the phone companies are spoiling the quality of my life:


As I write this, thread one in the BBQ Pit is Zev Steinhart’s pitting of Cingular. In thread four, Crazy Joe weighs in with complaints about Verizon. Thread six is Stonebow’s arresting "Motherf@#$ing Phone Company! Bubastis has a beef with ringtones? It’s got a beat and we can dance to it – number nine with a bullet. ** VCO3 ** shows up three slots down with a mournful tale about cell phone contracts. My eyes glaze over. When CanvasShoes, in thread thirty-one (still on the first blessed page, mind you), innocently asks, “Why are cell phones so annoying?” I know the answer. It’s because they’ve turned every one of us into my maiden aunt who doesn’t realize that her complaint about the weather is not new, different, or qualitatively better than the last three trillion such wheezes that have been uttered since we were worried about keeping the cave dry.

Yes, I know that every one of the posters mentioned has a legitimate grievance and has in one way or another been hard done by in scurrilous fashion. But, now that you’ve found each other, form a club, consolidate your complaints and listen to a Lily Tomlin album, for Pete’s sake.