Come, Join the Cult of Alton Brown

I thought I knew what life was all about.

I thought I understood things.

I thought I could scramble an egg.

I was wrong.

Lies, falsehoods, and misconceptions. All of it.

I have found truth, and truth goes by the name of Alton Brown.

I have discovered the good book. It came via UPS yesterday. It is good. Many a new technique will be learned. Many a popular myth will be dispelled. It is written.

I have also discovered his web site which kicks metaphysical butt. It is also good.

Come, share in the glory that is Alton. Speak the truth and ye shall make a great pot roast.

Join now and get a spiffy discount on a salt cellar (when available).


My god I love Good Eats. I can’t tell you how much I’ve learned from that show. And scrambling eggs was only the beginning. My goodness, and he’s not that hard on the eyes either. Every time I see him I start singing “She Blinded Me with Science!”


I love his show on the TV Food Network. I never thought I’d find a cooking show interesting, but the man has pulled it off flawlessly with his seamless blend of cooking, science and pop culture.

Count me in.
His ‘Broiled Butterflied Chicken’ kicks butt.

And he’s just so cute.

I have his book ordered and I am waiting for it to come in…all the reviews are glowing so far, and I am sure to add it to my Alton alter.


I love this guy!

I tape all the shows and drive my girlfriend nuts. “Are you watching ‘Good Eats’ again?”

This guy does a cooking show the way it should be done. In between the cheesey jokes he actually explains things.

It’s about time somebody not only told us what to do, but also why we should do it.

Emeril sucks hard. Alton Brown rules.

sways rhythmically

[chanting]. . . Allllllton . . . Allllllton . . . Allllllton . . . [/chanting]

If you haven’t tried his pot roast, you haven’t eaten!
If you haven’t made his chocolate chip cookies (any of the three kinds), you don’t know cookies!
If you haven’t made his beef broth in a pressure cooker, you don’t know good soup!
He’s wonderful. He’s wacky. He’s a great teacher. And, most of all, he makes recognizable foods from pronounceable ingredients.
And I just got his book, too. It’s called I’M JUST HERE FOR THE FOOD and you can order it up on quick like a bunny!

Count me in too. Check out this page:

– they’ve got transcripts of just about all the episodes!

Anyone who can make a delicious recipe using cabbage is a genius. Next to Iron Chef (which is becoming a bit boring), it’s the only thing worth watching on Food TV.

Count me in. I just hope Food TV realizes what they have with this guy.

By the way, what’s the name of that cook that’s on before Good Eats? Starts with an E, I think.

And in the time of great hardship, the time of pate of fois gras truffles sprinkled lightly on an organic, free range wild grouse, served with crusted, marbled baby fingerling potatoes with fresh dill and hazelnut bernaise sauce, and a cheeky little white wine from the unpronouncable part of upper Chile, comes the voice of Alton, and it is good. He bears before him fresh honey and milk, red beef and thick pork chops. There is mustard, and mayonaise, and kosher salt. Bow down before his sausages and bear witness to the glory of his cheesecake. Behold the radiance of precise, workable kitchen gadgets, and wonder at the majesty of the right shaped pan. The elements of earth, air, fire and water–of meat, bread, milk and chocolate, are tamed by his hand, combined and refined, heated or cooled, seasoned, seared, roasted, toasted, shaken, stirred or gently folded. Thus it was that Alton Brown lead us from the wilderness and brought us into the kitchen, not as spectators, but as cooks. Cast off thy false chefs and embrace the comfort that is Good Eats.

And, pass some of the pot roast, will ya?

I’ll bow down before his sausage any time.

I was going to go there, but I chose restraint (but just barely).

Didja see last nights show (the potato one)? It may have been a repeat but this was the first time I’ve seen them do a “Blinded Me with Science” reference.

I watched’s Couch Potato weekend, and before I could stop myself, I made french fries cooked in peanut oil according to Alton Brown’s directions, and they came out beautifully. The directions were clear, I had the equipment and the ingredients. I fear a monster has been created.

Did you think I didn’t know what I was writing? (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more, tch, tch.) :wink: