Come one, come all. See the horror! Witness the destruction!
I am apparently in the process of creating an animal freakshow in my apartment. My girlfriend, not satisfied with us owning The Fattest Cat on the Planet, became enamored with the idea of owning a fish tank. So being a perceptive boyfriend, I took note of this and bought her a ten gallon freshwater tank for Christmas. We finally got around to setting it up in our apartment a few months ago. Then we bought an evil fish.
Not on purpose, of course. We bought three black mollies (run of the mill fish about 2 inches long, all black). They were a happy family. Two girls and one boy (according the weird fish guy). One female got pregnant and then all hell broke loose. I came home from work and found the male’s body suspended in a gray sac attached to a decorative rock. Upon closer inspection I noticed his spine was torn out and had sunk to the bottom. :eek: This “fish” is like a cross between Attack of the Body Snatchers and Predator. “Attack of the Molly Snatchers”. I imagine she would have spent time cleaning the spine and screaming into the night had I not disposed of the gruesome remains. Oh, but she wasn’t done then. Having developed a taste for fish flesh, she sent the other female to “sleep with the rocks on the bottom of the tank”.
The babies were born a few weeks later and you can figure out the rest. That’s right, mobile hors d’oeuvres. They were all eaten save two. I figured that they must be the fastest, toughest babies and could fend for themselves. They have made their mother more than proud.
A week later my girlfriend came home from work with…more fish! A beta and a sucker fish. I thought they’d do well as a sucker fish minds his own business at the bottom and a beta is a Japanese Fighting Fish. I underestimated the power of the Triad of the Unholy Tank Dwellers. The beta was found on his side with no freaking fins. At all. The sucker fish had disappeared completely. Probably wanted to take his chances outside the tank with the cat. My girlfriend feels bad for all the fish and claims she thought they’d all get along. The weird fish guy said, “They aren’t supposed to do that, but they are animals after all.” I’ve got the freaking Discovery Channel in my dining room and he tells me they’re animals!
Now, after all this, I would think it cruel to add more fish to the tank. At least until the Devil of the Sea and her evil spawn decide they want to take over Lake Michigan. The girlfriend does not hold this opinion because last night she went out and bought two more fish! They are creamsicle mollies and only a little larger than the evil ones. I feel so bad for them.
I will update you on Monday of this continuing horror…