I really need some help from any Dopers who know about dogs.
I’ve just started my freshman year from college - I moved from Louisiana to Tennessee last weekend. My mom called just a few minutes ago, and apparently my dog’s not dealing with it well. She’s a toy poodle, about 15 years old, named Sandy, and her health’s been going downhill lately - no major problems, she’s just sleeping more, not hearing as well as she used to, has some arthritis in her back legs, etc. According to Mom, she’s been acting depressed and hasn’t been eating much since I left; Dad had to force-feed her last night. The vet couldn’t find anything really physically wrong, but gave her a vitamin shot.
Y’all, I’m really upset about this. I got this dog as a puppy for my third birthday, and I know she might not be around much longer anyway, but I don’t want to deal with the guilt of knowing she died of grief because I abandoned her. This isn’t the first time I’ve left home - I used to be gone for about three weeks every summer, and I’m told she was always a little sad and confused when I left, but nothing like this. Maybe it’s just old age catching up with her, I don’t know. If anyone can think of anything I can do, or anything I can tell my parents to do, PLEASE let me know.
[note to mods: wasn’t sure if this was more of a GQ or an IMHO - move it if you see fit.]
Um, “freshman year OF college.” Chalk it up to my emotional state.
My dog, a mutt, was about 7 years old when I left home for the Air Force. My mom said she did they same thing, slept a lot, didn’t eat, etc. But then she got over it after a few weeks. Now my dog is 16 “and her health’s been going downhill lately - no major problems, she’s just sleeping more, not hearing as well as she used to, has some arthritis in her back legs, etc.”
So in short, you have a 15-year-old pure breed (generally less healthy then mutts) suffering effects of old age. I have a mutt with the same symptoms only one year older. I think your leaving home was just coincidence. Don’t blame yourself.
BTW, I forgot to add. If you’re worried about the dog being lonely, how would your parents feel about getting another dog? It would most likely need to be a puppy so there’s no territorial dispute.
Dog (and cat) lover checking in.
If you could live off-campus and have a pet, that would be wonderful, but an awful lot of apartment complexes I dealt with as an undergrad were reluctant enough to rent to students – pets were out of the question.
I agree with Crunchy Frog that a puppy could well make a big difference. OTOH, given that you’ve got a poodle, I’d make sure it wasn’t a puppy of a large breed and/or a really rambunctious breed. Plus, your parents would need to make sure that they pay an equal amount of time to both dogs – not always easy to do when you’re trying to acclimate a little one to a new environment and simultaneously caring for an ailing older one.
Good luck. I feel for you, I do.
I’ve got a Portuguese Water Dog, a Poodle-like working breed known for bonding very tightly with their owners. Porties can be prone to separation anxiety, too.
From day one, I introduced my then-fuzzy puppy to a variety of different settings where I wouldn’t be around. There’s the nine-to-five, of course, but also visits to neighbors and doggie day care, ranging from a few hours to a few days. She suffers absolutely no separation anxiety when I leave the house for work, instead just hopping up on the couch for a nap after I hug her goodbye. On overnight absences, her hosts report that she feels a bit antsy during the first day after dinner, but afterwards adjusts well. She doesn’t forget who her master is, though; I always return to a greeting that involves an airborne leap into my arms.
I’m really sorry about your dog not doing well. We went through this at Christmas but for different reasons. We’ve had two dogs, a male and female. The female had to be put down, and Watson, the male just grieved and grieved. We were all scared we’d lose him too.
He’s twelve years old, and has cataracts [so he now gets scared outside when it starts to get dark] his health problems seemed to get worse after Molly died. It took about a month of extra attention to help him get better.
But ditto to what Crunchy said, it isn’t your fault. Dogs are pack animals and for her, her ‘lead dog’ left. She would have health problems no matter what, and given a few weeks, she’ll be better.
It is tough enough your freshman year [I’ve got a son in college, and I NEVER thought we’d make it to his senior year!] without worrying. It might help, if your mom put one of your old shirts that hasn’t been washed in with where she [the DOG, not your mom!] sleeps, so she can still feel close to you.
Good luck.
I have no advice to give, only my sympathy. Hope your dog adjusts.
Thanks very much for the support, guys.
elmwood: Like I said in the OP, this isn’t the first or the longest time I’ve been away from her; I think it’s the stress of me being gone on top of her current health problems that’s getting to her.
As for the puppy thing, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea; she stays in the house most of the time and isn’t very well socialized to other dogs. When she does meet them, she’s usually fairly intimidated, but that’s mainly because she’s only about eight pounds and most other dogs could accidentally inhale her. Also, with her arthritis and all I’m thinking a boisterous, playful puppy might not be a good idea - but maybe a small, sedate breed…anyone still think this is a good idea? Got any breed suggestions? (I’ve already suggested several times, half-seriously, that my mom get a puppy to deal with HER separation anxiety…:))
Anti Pro, sending home an unwashed shirt sounds like a great idea. I think I’ll do that.
King,
I recently separated from my partner of 7.5 years. When she left, our dog, Mitch, pined for weeks. He’d walk around listlessly, pacing, huffing and puffing, sighing etc. Basically, he was depressed. But he did get over it, and he’s very happy now.
Now Mitch is a young dog, 3.5 years old, so he doesn’t have the health problems to deal with… but I think given a few weeks, your dog will get over it.
I hope your dog feels better soon. Sounds like you love her a lot.
Max
king of spain: Been there several times.** Anti Pro** is exactly right. Except all kinds of clothes, not just a shirt. Small dogs are near the ground–socks might be best of all. If she slept with you, P.J.'s.
BTW, rinse them really well before you wear them (to get the soap out: Dogs HATE soap, soapy taste on their food/dishes, and soapy smells). And wear them extra long.
Feel really bad for you! Act fast on Anti Pro’s suggestion and good luck.
Oh, king of spain, I’m sorry your pooch isn’t feeling well. I have no advice, but I will say that I agree with the folks who say that dogs get a little depressed for awhile when someone goes away, but then they get over it. Shnookums got depressed when my sister went away to college, but she got over it and started hanging out with my mom who proceeded to spoil her rotten. 
I like Anti Pro’s suggestion too. Try it and see if that doesn’t help. I’m sending positive thoughts your way. Hang in there.